


Our Road

by Letters_to_Somebody



Category: Fake AH crew - Fandom, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2019-10-14 08:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 54,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17505209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letters_to_Somebody/pseuds/Letters_to_Somebody
Summary: Ray is thrust into the world of crime in Los Santos underbelly when he  accidently falls in love with the masked maniac of the Fake Ah Crew. He is forced to throw away his normal life and fight for the things he wants, friends, family, and love. It's not the fairy tale he wanted, but Ray can't ignore what he's found.





	1. Bumpy Start

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of the stories I made years ago for this fandom that I put on Tumblr and am rewriting to put here. Be on the look out for other revamped titles. These works will come out way faster then things I'm writing from scratch because they're just little tweaks.

Ray slowly opened his eyes; the bright light over him causing him to squint. He was lying down trying to grasp his surroundings. His head was thumping, and the right side of his stomach was pulsing with a heartbeat of its own. Ray picked up his wrist finding it immobile hearing a clunk against the bedpost. He looked over; panic filled him causing his chest to tighten and a beeping to pick up in the back of his head. Ray wiggled his arm trying to find a way to free himself from the handcuffs keeping him restrained to the bed; this had to be a joke! He jerked his arm up as hard as he could; turning his whole body to try and get more force behind his pulls. 

Instantly Ray regretted moving as his body was riddled with pain radiating from stomach. He knew he couldn’t keep thrashing around and accepted defeat. Ray groaned shutting his eyes trying to steady his breathing; the beeping was still rising and falling. He turned his head straining his eyes making out the machine causing the beeping noise by his bed; it was connected to several tubes that lead into his body that he hadn’t noticed before. It clicked, he was in a hospital; he’d been shot. Ray remembered the café, the date that had started oh so perfectly with Mr. Haywood. 

Ray was seeing him properly for the first time; his digital lover was out of Los Santos for a while but was coming back over the weekend. Ray jumped at the chance to meet his mysterious significant other. Ryan had always been pretty shut up over what he did for a living; Ray now knew why, sort of. Ray had met Ryan in a random battlefield match and they hit it off right away playing for hours that day and the next. It wasn’t long afterwards they had exchanged numbers. Some days they would talk for hours other times barley at all. Still Ray was content his heart racing in excitement to open messages from Ryan whenever they came in.

Ray heard footsteps coming up the hall; he gingerly stretched his left arm out twisting to his side, gritting his teeth stretching for his glasses on the night stand. His fingers just brushed the thick, black plastic when another hand ghosted over his fingers and picked up the glasses placing them in Ray’s grasp. Ray put the plastic frames on his face and everything came into focus; he noticed the white coat in the corner of his re-enhanced vision. “Tell it to me straight doctor, am I gonna live?”

“Probably.” The voice made Ray’s ears burn. 

“What probab,” Ray looked up at the doctor stunned to silence. Ray took off his glasses breathing on the lenses before placing them back on the bridge of his nose. He blinked again hard; he couldn’t forget the strong face that was looking down at him. “Ry.”  
 

Ryan put his pointer finger to his lip silencing Ray again. “Let me check your chart.” He spoke loudly like he was practicing a script on stage. 

Ray watched as Ryan strode across the room, he didn’t even look concerned that Ray was handcuffed to the bed. Not to mention Ray had a bullet hole through his guts; Ryan hadn’t even blinked at Ray in the hospital bed period. Ray was the one with all the questions and Ryan held himself like the man with all the answers. Ryan was looking quizzically at the machine monitoring Ray’s heartbeat. 

“I don’t know if you should,” Ray started watching Ryan follow a wire back to Ray and take the monitor off his finger. “Touch that.” Ray sighed listening to the heart monitor flat line even though Ray was very much alive. “They’re gonna come in and check on me.” Ray tried to peek outside the door to see if any nurses were scrambling down the hall with paddles like in medical dramas. 

Ryan leaned in close to Ray’s ear, “You won’t be here.”

Ray’s eyebrows scrunched together, “What?” Ryan stepped back pulling the stopper off a syringe. “Whoa there.” Ray was panicking again watching Ryan stick the needle into one of the tubes that lead into Ray’s arm. “What the hell was that?” Ray shouted. 

Ryan kept his silence walking back to the other side of the bed kneeling down beside the cuffs. He lifted Rays arm watching the chain catch it humming to himself. Ryan gently set Ray’s arm back down before reaching into his lab coat. 

Ray was starting to lose focus trying to watch Ryan to see what he was pulling out of his pocket. Ray groaned the edges of his vision going dark just getting a peek at whatever Ryan pulled out of his coat; it was metallic it had glinted in the medical light. Ray rolled his head back on his pillow; he was going to die. 

Convinced death was next for him Ray was surprised to open his eyes for the second time that day. This time the room around him was dark, dingy, smelled of mold. Ray scrunched his nose while his eyes adjusted to the surroundings, this time with his glasses already on. He lifted both of his hands to make sure he wasn’t cuffed; they both rose well above his head. Ray wasn’t restrained in anyway if he wanted to he could have bolted, but he didn’t move. He stared at the wooden door, what could be waiting on the other side? Several times Ray pictured several scenarios only one or two resulting in a happy ending; he tried to push the other ones out of his mind. 

The door opened and Ray’s back went ram rod straight the blood rushing through his ears. A young man, maybe about his age, walked in looking just as surprised as Ray. The man’s eyes were like honey and his hair curly dark brown; he wore a leather jacket over a red shirt with worn jeans. 

“Holy shit, you’re up,” The man had a loud voice; he quickly turned and left the room. 

The door was now standing open; Ray’s breathing was shallow as he looked into the dark crevice the door now created. Ray strained to hear what was going on outside. For a second he contemplated leaving the room feeling a twitch in his legs. He was just imagining getting up when he heard more footsteps. 

A heftier man with orange hair complete with a matching beard walked in with a nod and noticeable smile. Ray didn’t smile back. Another man walked in behind the man with the impressive facial hair, it was Ryan. Ray’s face was drained of its color he shifted around his eyes falling to the sheets. Ray listened to the steps get closer to the bed. 

“Ryan I have no idea what’s going on, I just want to go home.” Ray sighed out his head lulling down. 

“Holy shit he actually knows your name.” The man with the orange beard must have been talking because Ray didn’t recognize the voice.

“Unfortunately,” Ryan sighed. 

Ray’s head snapped up, “Fucking unfortunately what does that mean?” He snapped. 

“I wish you could go home too Ray,” Ryan’s voice was low like he was trying to calm a child. 

This is not how Ray to expect to be talked to by his significant other after being shot, “What happened to date Ryan, can I talk to him again?”

“Date?” The man with the orange beard seemed puzzled.

“Date Ryan was a cover.” Ryan said coldly. “Somehow it was still blown and now that it’s done I don’t need you to be my prop while I scope out the city.” 

Ray could physically feel his heart crack, “What?” Ray was startled by the weakness in his own voice, he swallowed back a lump. 

“Jack see what you can do to fix him up, I’ll ask Michael and Gavin to find him an appropriate living space.” Ryan nodded abruptly leaving.

Ray was still stunned he barley acknowledged the man, Jack, pulling a stool up and opening a tin box next to him. 

“How do you know Ryan?” Jack asked. 

Ray slumped back against the pillows his head resting against the headboard, “Online gaming, we.” Ray paused, “He’s my ex as of two fucking seconds ago.” 

Jack was quiet for a few minutes and Ray noticed him pulling out bandages and bottles from the tin box. “You can never be sure with Ryan he’s a puzzle; he might come in and completely change his mind.” 

Ray doubted it. “I just want to know what’s going on.” 

“You’re in the thick of it now, I guess you have every right to know.” Jack rubbed the back of his head. “Picture Ryan, now add a black skull mask.” 

Ray rose his eyebrow, “Um.”

“Really popular on the news.” Jack was spinning hand trying to coax the realization out of Ray. 

“Try again,” Ray shrugged.

“Kid,” Jack stood, “You got in thick with the most infamous member of the Fake Ah Crew.” 

Ray was wide eyed sitting up again now, “You mean the,” he emphasized, “Fake AH Crew? Notorious for robbing Los Santos blind; skull mask, oh fuck.” Ray gasped. “Ryan’s that maniac, oh God I fell in love with.” He trailed off.

“Love?” Jack sounded curious. 

Ray’s cheeks flared pink and he clamped his mouth shut. Ryan had been a best friend on Ray’s most boring days. Ryan had always been there when Ray was lonely and broken, the attachment Ray had for him was strong. Ray was bouncing off the walls when Ryan had asked him to go out; it was a dream come true and left Ray with no air in his lungs. “Why me?” Ray finally whispered asked Jack. 

Jack offered no help shrugging, “Ryan works in weird ways. Would you mind taking off your shirt?” Jack held up the medical supplies. “I want to take a look at that bullet hole.” 

Ray hesitated to pull his arms into his shirt sleeves and slowly started to pull the shirt over his head his glasses getting stuck on the collar momentarily. He placed his shirt on the bed next to him readjusting his lenses. He noticed the thick gauze taped to his side; a dark red splotch bled through the white. Ray let out a heavy breath laying back down on the bed. “This isn’t going to be fun is it?” Ray pathetically smiled. 

Jack’s dark eyes looked down, “I’ll be as quick as possible.”

Ray nodded biting his tongue and taking a deep breath through his nose. His eyes were squeezed shut and his hands balled into fists. He could feel Jack start to slip his fingers underneath the tape testing out what he was working with; Ray flinched when Jack pulled harder and the tape tugged on Ray’s skin.

“Three, two, one.” Jack jerked the thick bandage.

Ray shouted his side burning; he sprung up looking at the splotched irritated skin. It was covered in dried flecks of blood; the scab became reopened in spots and bright red blood leaked free. Ray huffed noticing Jacks eyes were elsewhere. Following his gaze Ray realized his shout had masked the sound of someone’s footsteps walking into the room. Ryan was standing there, his blue eyes examining Ray’s wound. 

Ryan coughed, “Michael and Gavin found a place for Ray.”

“Get out,” Ray growled, this was not how he wanted Ryan’s first time seeing him exposed to go. 

“I think I’ll help Jack here.” Ryan took a position on the opposite side of the bed across from Jack. 

“I think you should leave.” Ray argued, he really didn’t want to see Ryan right now. 

Ryan just ignored him. 

Ray looked up at Jack trying to signal him with his eyes, Jack had to understand. 

Jack shook his head, “Ryan just kind of does what he wants.”

Ray looked at Ryan shooting daggers at him hoping it would make the older man uncomfortable enough to leave. Unfortunately, Ryan seemed unaffected by Ray’s nasty looks. 

“Ready for round two?” Jack asked. 

Ray laid back down, “Do I really have a choice?”

Ray closed his eyes and took his deep breath again; a new element was added this time; rough calloused fingers laced through his slender ones. Ray could feel the heat rush up his arm to his face making him squeeze his eyes tighter; he as practically seeing stars. He knew it had to be Ryan giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 

“One, two,” Jack began his count down, “Three.” 

A ripping sound made Ray shout again his body pulsing and his hand squeezing Ryan’s; in the back of his mind he hoped he was breaking Ryan’s fingers. 

“Once more it’s still a little stuck.” Jack said calmly before ripping the gauze free from Ray’s body. 

Ray gripped Ryan’s hand for dear life while air rushed from his teeth in a groan. Ray released Ryan as fast as his vice grip had taken hold, still Ryan’s fingers lingered between Rays. Ray looked over at Jack who was holding the blood caked bandage into a garbage bag, “Do I get a lollipop now?”

Jack smiled, “You’re in luck, I keep some around for the lads.”

“Oh sweet, I didn’t know hard core thieves were into sweets.” Ray wanted something to calm the nerves bubbling inside him.

Ryan barked a laugh getting Ray’s and Jack’s attention, “Sorry I just pictured Michael and Gavin as hard core.” 

This got a chuckle from Jack.

Ray got the feeling he had a lot to learn about them; half of him was hopping he wouldn’t be staying long enough to learn about them. 

“Almost done,” Jack assured.

Ray watched Jack turn over a bottle dabbing a rag with a clear solution. “This is going to sting isn’t it?” 

“Just a little.” Jack confirmed. 

Ray felt Ryan give his hand a squeeze and Ray kept his eyes on the ceiling biting his lip. Ray inhaled sharply as Jack dapped carefully before swiping the wet cloth over his wound. 

“Good news is the doctors took the bullet out before Ryan dragged you out so, I won’t be removing that here.” Jack informed. 

“Thank God.” Ray sighed in relief. Ray looked up noticing Jack’s gaze was skipping over Ray and stopping on Ryan who had an odd look hidden in his eyes; was that relief? 

Ryan looked down catching Ray staring into his eyes and pulled away from Ray’s grasp as if Ray had burned him. Ray looked back over towards Jack his hand feeling cold. “Finish dressing him and I’ll take him to the apartment.” With that command Ryan left the room. 

“Can you sit up?” Jack continued fixing Ray up. 

Ray nodded sitting up carefully ignoring the slight burn he could feel radiating inside of him. 

Jack started to gently wrap a bandage around Ray’s torso. “I figured this was better than more tape.” Jack stated. 

Ray agreed his eyes flicking between the door and Jack, he wondered if Ryan would come back. 

A figure walked back into the room and Ray nearly jumped out of his skin. “Damn it Ryan!” Ray grumbled. 

Ryan had walked in wearing a black and blue striped leather jacket over his black t shirt topped off with a black skull mask. Seeing the mask had made Ray jump; all at once the news stories he had glanced over about the real life “ghost rider” were coming back to him. Ryan really was a crazy guy; he had caused endless havoc and had been on the front page of every paper for almost a month before disappearing. Ray had thought he had died in one of his own fiery schemes, turned out Ray was dating the allusive masked man. 

Ryan was snickering, but Ray was silent, he couldn’t tell where Ryan was looking and the eye holes looked like caves of nothingness. Ray felt uneasy as Ryan approached the bed.

“Really? Can you give the kid anymore heart attacks today?” Jack used the pads of his index finger and thumb to rub the bridge of his nose raising his wire frame glasses. 

Ryan, the masked figure walked closer to the bed silently and held out a pair of car keys dangling them near Ray. Ray looked at Jack. 

“He usually goes silent with the mask on,” Jack explained. “He probably thinks he’s scary.”


	2. Chapter 2

Ray carefully pulled his t-shirt back over his head while side eyeing Ryan and swung his legs off the examination table he was laying on. He stood looking down at his socked feet, “Hey where are my-” Ray’s sentience was finished by Ryan tossing Ray’s checkered Vans at his feet. “Thanks.” Ray slipped into his shoes. “I’m also missing,” Again Ray was cut off by his purple hoodie flying onto his head. “Thanks again.” He mumbled putting on the sweatshirt and zipping it halfway.

Ryan started walking and Ray was trailing behind him taking in the space around him. It all looked like some underground basement, the walls were dirty brick, the floor barley anything more than dirt, crates someone opened, were scattered around. Ray wondered if this was a bunker in the middle of nowhere. Ryan walked along silently; he seemed to tower over Ray with his shoulders held back in a confident strut. Ray noticed Ryan’s short ponytail coming out from the back of the mask. Ray never saw another soul either while he was walking through the dark gloomy space. It looked like a whole underground operation was running but; no one seemed to be running it. 

Ryan opened a big metal door that scratched against the floor, Ray could barely make out the inside shrouded in darkness. Ryan walked in without a second thought and Ray tried not to look so timid ignoring his knocking knees.

A light flipped on and Ray’s eyes shut feeling blinded by the quick change in brightness. He rubbed his eye before opening them again and letting them adjust to the light. They were standing in a boiler room with pipes hissing and rattling over their heads. Ryan was pulling up his hood that was large enough to hide most of the mask. Ray looked back at the door, they had been underground somewhere. Ryan was walking again without even a slight indicator to Ray besides his shoes on the ground. Ray followed questioning to himself why he didn’t just run away. He was also starting to question his surroundings; a spotless tile floor and green halls; it was complete contrast to the dirty hole he was just in. People were also more present in business suits looking straight ahead. Ray turned around wondering what they were all staring at, but nothing looked of interest down the long stretch of hallway. It occurred to Ray that maybe everyone knew Ryan was walking down the halls, his hunched body giving off an unnerving vibe; they all knew who they were walking past. These people in their perfect attire knew who they were working for, or with. 

Ray caught the attention of one of the refined robots that had been walking down the hall in expensive shoes. The man looked him up and down and Ray stopped to look back at the man wondering if the man caught on that Ray really wasn’t supposed to be there. The man opened his mouth like he was going to say something but, before he could utter a sound he was pinned against a wall an arm digging into his neck.  
Ray stood there shocked, “Fuck Ryan!” He shouted. Now everyone was watching the commotion happening. “Dude cut it out!” Ray got control of his legs running over throwing his arms around Ryan’s waist trying to pry him away. 

Ryan stepped back pushing Ray away from him, Ray tripped backwards watching Ryan walk out like the scene hadn’t just happened. Ray was still shaking slightly the shot of adrenaline working its way through his system; what the fuck just happened? 

Ray slowly walked out to the end of the hallway that bloomed into a room with a desk and lady whispering on a phone. Chairs and couches lined the outer perimeter of the large room leaking into the middle with some potted plants, the walls were still a green color, and the front of the building was one glass window. It was a reception area and the receptionist looked like an angry librarian who was sneering at Ray like he was shouting in her library. Ray looked behind him and saw the man getting helped up by a small group of people, he wondered if he should have apologized. Ray was afraid of Ryan coming back in to look for him and find him talking to a gaggle of people; would Ryan go on some sort of rampage? If so, why?

The lady at the desk hung up the phone and Ray decided to book it out the front doors into the Los Santos night. Even at night Los Santos was the brightest city, lights as far as the eye could see, cars driving by tricked out with lights underneath them, and the people walking by on their cellphones. The city was never dark advertising itself as a city of stars to anyone who heard of it. Ray doubted people would keep moving in if they knew bullets and gun fire also lit up the night.

Ray was trying to look busy on his phone, he was really just reading over his old messages from Ryan; he wanted to go back before the date and aftermath. His foot was tapping the sidewalk as endless streams of cars went past him and countless people walked around him. Where had Ryan gone? It was going on two in the morning, officially the longest date Ray had been on; it was time to go home and put it behind him. Ice cream sounded really good, video games also sounded really good, treating himself in anyway sounded really good right then. Ray checked his pockets looking for his wallet for bus fare to head home. Of course, his wallet wasn’t in his pockets after hanging with a group of thieves he shouldn’t have expected less; it looked like he was walking home. He needed to try and grasp his surroundings the glowing green building behind him didn’t look like anywhere he’d been before. Ray was ready to google maps his location and; that’s when he heard a car horn making him a jump.

A sleek black car with tinted windows pulled in perfectly against the curb in front of Ray. Ray and several other bystanders watched to see who would get out but it just sat idly running. Ray decided he was done watching turning to leave with a few other people who had had their gawking fill; the passenger door opened almost smacking Ray’s legs. He stopped abruptly annoyed with a few choice words on his lips for the person he thought was getting out still no one emerged from the car. Ray’s curiosity got the best of him and he peeked around the door noticing the driver right away; the skull mask was hard to forget. Ryan was sitting there tapping the gear shift with his index finger, his head turned, and he looked at Ray. The deep eye sockets of the skull mask were making Ray squirm. 

“Am I supposed to get in?” Ray asked hoping Ryan would say no or offer to take him home. 

Ryan just nodded the leather of his jacket squeaking slightly at the motion. 

Ray carefully got in the sports car shutting the door and already wanting out. “Where are we headed?” He asked. 

Ryan said nothing putting the car into drive and pulling out of the space.

“It wouldn’t happen to be back to my apartment would it?” Ray tried again. 

Ryan was still silent. 

The whole damn car was silent, there wasn’t even music playing and the space was starting to feel claustrophobic. 

Ray gathered up the small amount of courage he had mixed with the onset of sleepiness starting to seep in with the silence, “Ryan did you mean anything you said?” Ray laid his head against the window his dark eyes looking at the man he thought he knew so well. Never trust someone from the internet; why hadn’t he listened? 

Ryan pulled off his mask shaking his hair free tossing the black skull in the back seat. Ray sat up straighter now waiting for an answer. 

“I’m taking you to a safer apartment where Michael and Gavin will watch over you.” Ryan said blandly.

Ray’s eyebrows fell, “That’s not what I asked.” He pouted crossing his arms and slouching against the seat like a teenager losing an argument to their parent. 

Ryan said nothing more as Ray watched streets pass with names he didn’t even know existed. His eyes were feeling heavy, but he refused to let them close, to let Ryan think he was comfortable in his presence. 

The car finally made a stop in front of a fancy looking apartment building. Ryan turned off the car and Ray slowly slid out. There was another car parked there that had a symbol Ray had seen spray painted under overpasses and on the sides of old buildings. It looked like the X-box achievement unlocked symbol with a star in the middle and a tiny joy stick inside the star. The symbol was the same fluorescent green as that company on top of the Crews bunker had been. 

Ray walked up the wide concrete steps watching over Ryan’s shoulder as he pushed a buzzer and a static voice came over the intercom. “What’s the password?”

“Open up dicks,” Ryan spoke into the com box. 

“Nah that’s not it,” Another voice spoke back to Ryan.

“Let me in or I’ll break your nose.” Ryan’s voice became less playful. 

“Can’t break it if you can’t get me.” Static voice number two teased.

“You know I’ll find a way,” Ryan leaned in close growling. Ray had barley caught the words; shrinking back slightly when they registered. 

There was a buzzing noise and Ryan opened the glass door then looked back at Ray.

Ray stood there for a second before he jumped in surprise. “Oh! Uh thanks.” He muttered walking through the door Ryan was generously holding open.

Ray ran his fingers through the back of his hair combing through it as he looked around the lobby. He felt like he was moving all over again, like he had to ask for his room key; the anxiety in the pit of his stomach was growing. 

The lobby was quiet save for the elevator music lightly floating down from the speakers. Ray felt antsy watching Ryan walk around the space like he was looking for something; Ray just wanted to get up to the room. Still Ryan was tracking something like a hound dog he was even turning over cushions on the chairs. Ray could feel the desk manager giving them strange looks he tried to ignore. 

Finally, Ryan stood up straight walking to the elevator pushing the button; Ray followed right behind. When the elevator came Ray moved into the corner as far from Ryan as he could manage in the tiny space. His eyes were glued to the numbers watching them go up and up. The ride seemed to take forever and Ray could feel the sweat building under his arms; he hoped it wasn’t obviously leaving stains on his shirt. 

When the elevator stopped on the twentieth floor and the doors slid open Ray finally felt like he could breathe again stepping out before Ryan. Ray looked down the hallway left than right of his new apartment building; at least it was an upgrade from his old home. Ray waited at the splitting hallways watching Ryan take the right path. Ray followed a good few feet behind Ryan even when he was knocking on the door. 

Two men, one Ray had seen before with curly hair, the other with a big nose Ray couldn’t recall. They had noise makers in their mouth colorful paper rolling out like elongated tongues as they blew hot air into the small plastic devices. It made Ray smile as they shouted surprise like greeting an old friend.

Ryan sighed pushing past them but, the two didn’t seem all the affected letting Ryan around and focusing on Ray.

“New roommate!” The one with light brown hair pumped his fist in the air.

“Welcome to the lads crib!” The curly haired man draped his arm around Ray’s shoulders. Ray could smelt he beer on his breath. 

Ray was led into the huge apartment his eyes quickly taking in all the new sights like the large room that doubled as a living room and kitchen. He also noticed the empty bottles scattered on the coffee table while the TV droned on. There was an ash tray filled with discarded cigarettes. Ray felt like he walked into the wrong frat house and he wanted out.

“Come on don’t be shy,” The curly haired boy steered Ray to the couch, “Take a load off and make yourself at home.” 

“Have you guys done anything I asked you to or just take advantage of Geoff’s money at the liquor store?” Ryan grumbled walking back across the room arms crossed. 

The man with the crazy fluffy hair and British accent flopped on the couch arms stretched over the back legs long and limp, “Not our fault you took forever. We’re professionals Ryan; we did what needed to be done. The place is clean, and no one saw us come over.” 

Ray was curious to the deed that they were speaking of.

“Take a load off,” The curly haired boy shrugged off his bomber jacket. “You look too stressed about this, what’s so fucking special about this kid anyway?” The man’s amber eyes looked Ray up and down. 

Ray was too busy looking at the man’s waist to care. A gun was tucked in a pouch on his belt glinting in the artificial light.

“Like something you see?” The curly haired boy laughed, “Before you get into my pants at least ask my name.” 

Ray started playing with the strings on his hoodie, “Care to share your name?” 

The boy fell back on top of the British man, “I’m Michael, and this,” He grabbed the other mans face in his hands, “Is my boy Gavin.” Michael pulled Gavin’s face down giving him a peck on his nose. 

“And we know you’re Ray,” Gavin smirked. “Your Ryan’s online shag buddy.” 

Ray’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. 

Michael and Gavin laughed until Ryan walked by snacking them on the back of their heads. 

That snapped Ray back into focus, “You’re wrong about that one.” 

Michael looked surprised, “Don’t try to hide it. Gavin hacked his computer and found the chat logs.” 

“I’m a pretty god actor.” Ray shrugged. “I was just a cover.” Ray could hear the snap in his voice. 

Michael gave a low long whistle.

“I’ll bring you some clean clothes tomorrow.” Ryan said flatly before leaving the apartment. 

“Bloody hell Ray,” Gavin said. “What happened?”

Ray shrugged taking a seat on a lounge chair next to the long couch. “Ryan said I was some kind of prop or cover for him; he was using me.” Ray scowled. 

“Ryan doesn’t seem like the kind to shag and split; or shag in general.” Gavin pointed out. 

Michael’s rebuttal was a fact, “We don’t really know that much about Ryan. He showed up one day to help out and stayed after a serious shoot out. Ever since then hes showed up though more groups have been trying to take us down; Ryan’s a mysterious guy who knows who he was rolling with before. Maybe he needed a dating cover story to deal with shit.” 

“And I got picked.” Ray sighed. 

“I can’t take this sad puppy shit.” Michael got up off of Gavin grabbing a long red glass tube from the table. He fished through his pack pocket before pulling out a gold lighter. “You ever use one of these before?” He asked holding the tube out to Ray. 

Ray shook his head. “Isn’t it like for drugs?” He said sheepishly. 

“It’ll help.” Gavin nodded while Michael was busy lighting an outcropping section of the bong.

Ray sat doubtful watching as Michael inhaled a thick smoke that could be seen slightly through the tinted glass. “I don’t know. I think I’ll just get some sleep.” 

Gavin groaned, “By that you mean sit up for hours until you crash.”

Michael finally came back up for air. “This will help you skip the thinking too hard part.” Smoke left his mouth like a dragon. 

“Never thought I’d give into peer pressure,” Ray smirked taking the bong from Michael. “Don’t make fun of me on my first try.” Ray also retrieved the lighter from Michael.

Ray set the red glass tube in his crossed legs holding the long stem before lighting the same part Michael had. He could see the smoke start to rise and he placed his mouth on the opening inhaling. Ray immediately started coughing pulling his face away from the rising smoke. Gavin and Michael sputtered laughter and Ray went in for a second try. At first Ray was feeling nothing even when asked multiple times by Gavin. After another hit Ray felt calmer, like his life hadn’t just spun him on his head in a day. Ray didn’t even feel his eyes close. 

The opening and closing of a door, footsteps, the rustle of a plastic bag on the counter; those are the things that woke Ray from his sleep. Ray looked around sleep in his eyes still lingering as he scanned the coffee table still cluttered with scattered beer bottles. He didn’t drink but, this wasn’t his home and his new roommates liked the alcoholic taste. Ray had fallen asleep on the lounger curled up in a ball someone had tossed a blanket over him. Ray sat up yawning and stretching his arms high above his head arching his back until something popped. Ray froze before leaving the seat, he had expected to see Michael or Gavin to be the ones padding around the room but that wasn’t the case. 

Ryan was in the kitchen pulling eggs, milk, and other food related products out of grocery bags leaving some on the counter and putting some in the fridge.  
Ray just watched Ryan go through the cupboards and pull out pans. Ryan slowly stopped this project though his movements becoming stiff like an animal knowing it’s the next meal. Ryan’s eyes quickly connected with Ray’s for half a second before Ray pulled away looking back at the coffee table. The bong was still hanging out and several joints had been scattered around. 

A door had opened, and Ray was thankful he had something to look at; that something was Michael walking out of the probably bed room hair wild and in nothing but his plaid boxers. He yawned still looking half asleep, “Ready to try again slugger?” He walked up to Ray a lopsided smile on his face picking a joint off the table. 

“Morning Michael,” Ryan said from the kitchen. It was calm but held some threatening undertone. 

Ray guessed Michael had picked up on that turning around slowly. “Hey Ryan, I didn’t see you there. What’s got you in our home so early in the morning?” 

Ray swore he could see the hairs standing up on the back of Michael’s neck. 

“I brought Ray a change of clothes and thought I’d make some breakfast.” Ryan tossed a plastic bag across the room to Michael. “Where’s Gavin?” He asked. 

“Still sleeping.” Michael answered. 

Ryan just nodded. 

Michael turned giving the bag to Ray before going back to the bedroom closing the door.

Ray didn’t even look in the bag, knowing it was a change of clothes was good enough for him. He got off the lounge chair walking to the bathroom trying not to look at Ryan as he passed him to go down the small hallway leading to the bathroom. 

Safely behind the bathroom door Ray took off his shirt looking at the white ace bandage spotted with red like connect the dots. Was he supposed to take it off before he showered? Ray made a face at the shirt in his hands and the small red stains that had leaked through; he would be throwing it away.

The bathroom door creaked open and Ray jumped back cursing at the fact he forgot to lock it. Ryan walked into the small space his eyes glued right to Ray. “Could you knock?” Ray looked over examining the blue shower curtain. 

“Sorry,” Ryan shrugged. “I uh- the belt I brought fell out of the bag.” Ryan held out a plain leather belt.

Ray didn’t make any attempt to take it he just nodded acknowledging Ryan had brought it.

Ryan placed the belt on the counter by the sink saying nothing more backing out of the bathroom. 

“W-wait,” Ray stuttered out the word stopping Ryan instantly. “Do I keep this on or take it off?” Ray gestured to the bandage wrapped around his torso. 

“Take it off and let the wound breathe.” Ryan said. 

Ray started looking at the carpet that matched the shower curtain. “Can you help?” He muttered. 

Ryan nodded moving a step closer to Ray.


	3. Chapter 3

Ray carefully pulled his t-shirt back over his head while side eyeing Ryan and swung his legs off the examination table he was laying on. He stood looking down at his socked feet, “Hey where are my-” Ray’s sentience was finished by Ryan tossing Ray’s checkered Vans at his feet. “Thanks.” Ray slipped into his shoes. “I’m also missing,” Again Ray was cut off by his purple hoodie flying onto his head. “Thanks again.” He mumbled putting on the sweatshirt and zipping it halfway.

Ryan started walking and Ray was trailing behind him taking in the space around him. It all looked like some underground basement, the walls were dirty brick, the floor barley anything more than dirt, crates someone opened, were scattered around. Ray wondered if this was a bunker in the middle of nowhere. Ryan walked along silently; he seemed to tower over Ray with his shoulders held back in a confident strut. Ray noticed Ryan’s short ponytail coming out from the back of the mask. Ray never saw another soul either while he was walking through the dark gloomy space. It looked like a whole underground operation was running but; no one seemed to be running it. 

Ryan opened a big metal door that scratched against the floor, Ray could barely make out the inside shrouded in darkness. Ryan walked in without a second thought and Ray tried not to look so timid ignoring his knocking knees.

A light flipped on and Ray’s eyes shut feeling blinded by the quick change in brightness. He rubbed his eye before opening them again and letting them adjust to the light. They were standing in a boiler room with pipes hissing and rattling over their heads. Ryan was pulling up his hood that was large enough to hide most of the mask. Ray looked back at the door, they had been underground somewhere. Ryan was walking again without even a slight indicator to Ray besides his shoes on the ground. Ray followed questioning to himself why he didn’t just run away. He was also starting to question his surroundings; a spotless tile floor and green halls; it was complete contrast to the dirty hole he was just in. People were also more present in business suits looking straight ahead. Ray turned around wondering what they were all staring at, but nothing looked of interest down the long stretch of hallway. It occurred to Ray that maybe everyone knew Ryan was walking down the halls, his hunched body giving off an unnerving vibe; they all knew who they were walking past. These people in their perfect attire knew who they were working for, or with. 

Ray caught the attention of one of the refined robots that had been walking down the hall in expensive shoes. The man looked him up and down and Ray stopped to look back at the man wondering if the man caught on that Ray really wasn’t supposed to be there. The man opened his mouth like he was going to say something but, before he could utter a sound he was pinned against a wall an arm digging into his neck.   
Ray stood there shocked, “Fuck Ryan!” He shouted. Now everyone was watching the commotion happening. “Dude cut it out!” Ray got control of his legs running over throwing his arms around Ryan’s waist trying to pry him away. 

Ryan stepped back pushing Ray away from him, Ray tripped backwards watching Ryan walk out like the scene hadn’t just happened. Ray was still shaking slightly the shot of adrenaline working its way through his system; what the fuck just happened? 

Ray slowly walked out to the end of the hallway that bloomed into a room with a desk and lady whispering on a phone. Chairs and couches lined the outer perimeter of the large room leaking into the middle with some potted plants, the walls were still a green color, and the front of the building was one glass window. It was a reception area and the receptionist looked like an angry librarian who was sneering at Ray like he was shouting in her library. Ray looked behind him and saw the man getting helped up by a small group of people, he wondered if he should have apologized. Ray was afraid of Ryan coming back in to look for him and find him talking to a gaggle of people; would Ryan go on some sort of rampage? If so, why?

The lady at the desk hung up the phone and Ray decided to book it out the front doors into the Los Santos night. Even at night Los Santos was the brightest city, lights as far as the eye could see, cars driving by tricked out with lights underneath them, and the people walking by on their cellphones. The city was never dark advertising itself as a city of stars to anyone who heard of it. Ray doubted people would keep moving in if they knew bullets and gun fire also lit up the night.

Ray was trying to look busy on his phone, he was really just reading over his old messages from Ryan; he wanted to go back before the date and aftermath. His foot was tapping the sidewalk as endless streams of cars went past him and countless people walked around him. Where had Ryan gone? It was going on two in the morning, officially the longest date Ray had been on; it was time to go home and put it behind him. Ice cream sounded really good, video games also sounded really good, treating himself in anyway sounded really good right then. Ray checked his pockets looking for his wallet for bus fare to head home. Of course, his wallet wasn’t in his pockets after hanging with a group of thieves he shouldn’t have expected less; it looked like he was walking home. He needed to try and grasp his surroundings the glowing green building behind him didn’t look like anywhere he’d been before. Ray was ready to google maps his location and; that’s when he heard a car horn making him a jump.

A sleek black car with tinted windows pulled in perfectly against the curb in front of Ray. Ray and several other bystanders watched to see who would get out but it just sat idly running. Ray decided he was done watching turning to leave with a few other people who had had their gawking fill; the passenger door opened almost smacking Ray’s legs. He stopped abruptly annoyed with a few choice words on his lips for the person he thought was getting out still no one emerged from the car. Ray’s curiosity got the best of him and he peeked around the door noticing the driver right away; the skull mask was hard to forget. Ryan was sitting there tapping the gear shift with his index finger, his head turned, and he looked at Ray. The deep eye sockets of the skull mask were making Ray squirm. 

“Am I supposed to get in?” Ray asked hoping Ryan would say no or offer to take him home. 

Ryan just nodded the leather of his jacket squeaking slightly at the motion. 

Ray carefully got in the sports car shutting the door and already wanting out. “Where are we headed?” He asked. 

Ryan said nothing putting the car into drive and pulling out of the space.

“It wouldn’t happen to be back to my apartment would it?” Ray tried again. 

Ryan was still silent. 

The whole damn car was silent, there wasn’t even music playing and the space was starting to feel claustrophobic. 

Ray gathered up the small amount of courage he had mixed with the onset of sleepiness starting to seep in with the silence, “Ryan did you mean anything you said?” Ray laid his head against the window his dark eyes looking at the man he thought he knew so well. Never trust someone from the internet; why hadn’t he listened? 

Ryan pulled off his mask shaking his hair free tossing the black skull in the back seat. Ray sat up straighter now waiting for an answer. 

“I’m taking you to a safer apartment where Michael and Gavin will watch over you.” Ryan said blandly. 

Ray’s eyebrows fell, “That’s not what I asked.” He pouted crossing his arms and slouching against the seat like a teenager losing an argument to their parent. 

Ryan said nothing more as Ray watched streets pass with names he didn’t even know existed. His eyes were feeling heavy, but he refused to let them close, to let Ryan think he was comfortable in his presence. 

The car finally made a stop in front of a fancy looking apartment building. Ryan turned off the car and Ray slowly slid out. There was another car parked there that had a symbol Ray had seen spray painted under overpasses and on the sides of old buildings. It looked like the X-box achievement unlocked symbol with a star in the middle and a tiny joy stick inside the star. The symbol was the same fluorescent green as that company on top of the Crews bunker had been.

Ray walked up the wide concrete steps watching over Ryan’s shoulder as he pushed a buzzer and a static voice came over the intercom. “What’s the password?”

“Open up dicks,” Ryan spoke into the com box. 

“Nah that’s not it,” Another voice spoke back to Ryan. 

“Let me in or I’ll break your nose.” Ryan’s voice became less playful. 

“Can’t break it if you can’t get me.” Static voice number two teased. 

“You know I’ll find a way,” Ryan leaned in close growling. Ray had barley caught the words; shrinking back slightly when they registered.

There was a buzzing noise and Ryan opened the glass door then looked back at Ray.

Ray stood there for a second before he jumped in surprise. “Oh! Uh thanks.” He muttered walking through the door Ryan was generously holding open. 

Ray ran his fingers through the back of his hair combing through it as he looked around the lobby. He felt like he was moving all over again, like he had to ask for his room key; the anxiety in the pit of his stomach was growing. The lobby was quiet save for the elevator music lightly floating down from the speakers. Ray felt antsy watching Ryan walk around the space like he was looking for something; Ray just wanted to get up to the room. Still Ryan was tracking something like a hound dog he was even turning over cushions on the chairs. Ray could feel the desk manager giving them strange looks he tried to ignore.

Finally, Ryan stood up straight walking to the elevator pushing the button; Ray followed right behind. When the elevator came Ray moved into the corner as far from Ryan as he could manage in the tiny space. His eyes were glued to the numbers watching them go up and up. The ride seemed to take forever and Ray could feel the sweat building under his arms; he hoped it wasn’t obviously leaving stains on his shirt. 

When the elevator stopped on the twentieth floor and the doors slid open Ray finally felt like he could breathe again stepping out before Ryan. Ray looked down the hallway left than right of his new apartment building; at least it was an upgrade from his old home. Ray waited at the splitting hallways watching Ryan take the right path. Ray followed a good few feet behind Ryan even when he was knocking on the door. 

Two men, one Ray had seen before with curly hair, the other with a big nose Ray couldn’t recall. They had noise makers in their mouth colorful paper rolling out like elongated tongues as they blew hot air into the small plastic devices. It made Ray smile as they shouted surprise like greeting an old friend.  
Ryan sighed pushing past them but, the two didn’t seem all the affected letting Ryan around and focusing on Ray. 

“New roommate!” The one with light brown hair pumped his fist in the air.

“Welcome to the lads crib!” The curly haired man draped his arm around Ray’s shoulders. Ray could smell the beer on his breath. 

Ray was led into the huge apartment his eyes quickly taking in all the new sights like the large room that doubled as a living room and kitchen. He also noticed the empty bottles scattered on the coffee table while the TV droned on. There was an ash tray filled with discarded cigarettes. Ray felt like he walked into the wrong frat house and he wanted out.

“Come on don’t be shy,” The curly haired boy steered Ray to the couch, “Take a load off and make yourself at home.”

“Have you guys done anything I asked you to or just take advantage of Geoff’s money at the liquor store?” Ryan grumbled walking back across the room arms crossed. 

The man with the crazy fluffy hair and British accent flopped on the couch arms stretched over the back legs long and limp, “Not our fault you took forever. We’re professionals Ryan; we did what needed to be done. The place is clean, and no one saw us come over.” 

Ray was curious to the deed that they were speaking of. 

“Take a load off,” The curly haired boy shrugged off his bomber jacket. “You look too stressed about this, what’s so fucking special about this kid anyway?” The man’s amber eyes looked Ray up and down. 

Ray was too busy looking at the man’s waist to care. A gun was tucked in a pouch on his belt glinting in the artificial light. 

“Like something you see?” The curly haired boy laughed, “Before you get into my pants at least ask my name.” 

Ray started playing with the strings on his hoodie, “Care to share your name?” 

The boy fell back on top of the British man, “I’m Michael, and this,” He grabbed the other mans face in his hands, “Is my boy Gavin.” Michael pulled Gavin’s face down giving him a peck on his nose. 

“And we know you’re Ray,” Gavin smirked. “Your Ryan’s online shag buddy.” 

Ray’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. 

Michael and Gavin laughed until Ryan walked by smacking them on the back of their heads. 

That snapped Ray back into focus, “You’re wrong about that one.” 

Michael looked surprised, “Don’t try to hide it. Gavin hacked his computer and found the chat logs.”

“I’m a pretty god actor.” Ray shrugged. “I was just a cover.” Ray could hear the snap in his voice. 

Michael gave a low long whistle. 

“I’ll bring you some clean clothes tomorrow.” Ryan said flatly before leaving the apartment. 

“Bloody hell Ray,” Gavin said. “What happened?”

Ray shrugged taking a seat on a lounge chair next to the long couch. “Ryan said I was some kind of prop or cover for him; he was using me.” Ray scowled. 

“Ryan doesn’t seem like the kind to shag and split; or shag in general.” Gavin pointed out. 

Michael’s rebuttal was a fact, “We don’t really know that much about Ryan. He showed up one day to help out and stayed after a serious shoot out. Ever since then hes showed up though more groups have been trying to take us down; Ryan’s a mysterious guy who knows who he was rolling with before. Maybe he needed a dating cover story to deal with shit.” 

“And I got picked.” Ray sighed. 

“I can’t take this sad puppy shit.” Michael got up off of Gavin grabbing a long red glass tube from the table. He fished through his pack pocket before pulling out a gold lighter. “You ever use one of these before?” He asked holding the tube out to Ray. 

Ray shook his head. “Isn’t it like for drugs?” He said sheepishly.

“It’ll help.” Gavin nodded while Michael was busy lighting an outcropping section of the bong. 

Ray sat doubtful watching as Michael inhaled a thick smoke that could be seen slightly through the tinted glass. “I don’t know. I think I’ll just get some sleep.” 

Gavin groaned, “By that you mean sit up for hours until you crash.”

Michael finally came back up for air. “This will help you skip the thinking too hard part.” Smoke left his mouth like a dragon. 

“Never thought I’d give into peer pressure,” Ray smirked taking the bong from Michael. “Don’t make fun of me on my first try.” Ray also retrieved the lighter from Michael.

Ray set the red glass tube in his crossed legs holding the long stem before lighting the same part Michael had. He could see the smoke start to rise and he placed his mouth on the opening inhaling. Ray immediately started coughing pulling his face away from the rising smoke. Gavin and Michael sputtered laughter and Ray went in for a second try. At first Ray was feeling nothing even when asked multiple times by Gavin. After another hit Ray felt calmer, like his life hadn’t just spun him on his head in a day. Ray didn’t even feel his eyes close. 

The opening and closing of a door, footsteps, the rustle of a plastic bag on the counter; those are the things that woke Ray from his sleep. Ray looked around sleep in his eyes still lingering as he scanned the coffee table still cluttered with scattered beer bottles. He didn’t drink but, this wasn’t his home and his new roommates liked the alcoholic taste. Ray had fallen asleep on the lounger curled up in a ball someone had tossed a blanket over him. Ray sat up yawning and stretching his arms high above his head arching his back until something popped. Ray froze before leaving the seat, he had expected to see Michael or Gavin to be the ones padding around the room but that wasn’t the case. 

Ryan was in the kitchen pulling eggs, milk, and other food related products out of grocery bags leaving some on the counter and putting some in the fridge.

Ray just watched Ryan go through the cupboards and pull out pans. Ryan slowly stopped this project though his movements becoming stiff like an animal knowing it’s the next meal. Ryan’s eyes quickly connected with Ray’s for half a second before Ray pulled away looking back at the coffee table. The bong was still hanging out and several joints had been scattered around. 

A door had opened, and Ray was thankful he had something to look at; that something was Michael walking out of the probably bed room hair wild and in nothing but his plaid boxers. He yawned still looking half asleep, “Ready to try again slugger?” He walked up to Ray a lopsided smile on his face picking a joint off the table.

“Morning Michael,” Ryan said from the kitchen. It was calm but held some threatening undertone. 

Ray guessed Michael had picked up on that turning around slowly. “Hey Ryan, I didn’t see you there. What’s got you in our home so early in the morning?” 

Ray swore he could see the hairs standing up on the back of Michael’s neck.

“I brought Ray a change of clothes and thought I’d make some breakfast.” Ryan tossed a plastic bag across the room to Michael. “Where’s Gavin?” He asked.

“Still sleeping.” Michael answered.


	4. Chapter 4

Ryan just nodded. 

Michael turned giving the bag to Ray before going back to the bedroom closing the door. 

Ray didn’t even look in the bag, knowing it was a change of clothes was good enough for him. He got off the lounge chair walking to the bathroom trying not to look at Ryan as he passed him to go down the small hallway leading to the bathroom. 

Safely behind the bathroom door Ray took off his shirt looking at the white ace bandage spotted with red like connect the dots. Was he supposed to take it off before he showered? Ray made a face at the shirt in his hands and the small red stains that had leaked through; he would be throwing it away. 

The bathroom door creaked open and Ray jumped back cursing at the fact he forgot to lock it. Ryan walked into the small space his eyes glued right to Ray. “Could you knock?” Ray looked over examining the blue shower curtain. 

“Sorry,” Ryan shrugged. “I uh- the belt I brought fell out of the bag.” Ryan held out a plain leather belt. 

Ray didn’t make any attempt to take it he just nodded acknowledging Ryan had brought it. 

Ryan placed the belt on the counter by the sink saying nothing more backing out of the bathroom. 

“W-wait,” Ray stuttered out the word stopping Ryan instantly. “Do I keep this on or take it off?” Ray gestured to the bandage wrapped around his torso. 

“Take it off and let the wound breathe.” Ryan said. 

Ray started looking at the carpet that matched the shower curtain. “Can you help?” He muttered.

Ryan nodded moving a step closer to Ray.

Ray tried not to move back bracing himself. 

Ryan unclipped the bandage starting to unwrap it from around the smaller boy’s torso. The air was thick Ryan was standing so close Ray could smell the aftershave he had used; it smelled like the forest. Ryan’s hands were warm but every time his fingers or knuckles lightly passed over Ray’s skin Ray flinched and Ryan would pause. The process probably went on longer than it should have, Ray probably could have taken over by now, but he let Ryan continue to slowly unwind the bandage. It stuck slightly this time, not as bad as last night, to the bits of blood here and there. Ryan gently slid one hand under the wrapping while tugging with the other. Ray tried not to jump away, or melt. Something about Ryan being in that space made Ray’s heart jump around like when he saw him for the first time in the café yesterday.   
Ryan finished unwinding the bandage setting it down in the sink. Ray knew he would leave, Ryan was already moving back. 

Ray seized Ryan’s wrist, he could feel the tendons tighten; Ray knew if Ryan wanted to he could rip out of Ray’s grip like it was nothing. Ryan stayed perfectly still though obeying Ray’s silent command. Ray finally lifted his eyes to meet Ryan’s for the first time during the encounter. Ray’s lips trembled as he searched for the words he wanted to say; why had he even stopped Ryan? 

“I don’t understand,” Ray’s throat felt dry. 

“I wish I could explain.” Ryan’s voice was a whisper. “Right now I just can’t.”

“Why?” Ray asked.

Ryan shook his head. “It’s not safe.”

“Why me?” Ray heard his voice crack. 

Ryan removed himself from Ray’s grip and cupped his face. “I liked talking to you.” 

Ray didn’t move back he didn’t even flinch. “What are we?” Ray needed closure in the confusion. 

Ryan said nothing at first the rough padding of his thumb ghosting Ray’s cheek. “Complicated,” He put it so simply. 

“Do you care about me, or were all those messages just lies?” Ray could feel the heat in his face. 

Ray watched Ryan’s bright blue eyes look back and forth, to the mirror, the shower curtain; he even turned to check the door. Ryan quickly put his other hand on Ray’s back surprising the man and pulling him close. Ryan gently put his lips to Ray’s like he was afraid of the contact; like he would be hurt.

The gesture didn’t last long, and Ryan broke it off quickly surveying the area again. 

Ray was stunned at the sudden contact and then the sudden lack of. 

Ryan grabbed Ray’s shoulders and he leaned in. Ray thought Ryan was going to kiss him again and his heart started pounding harder. 

“I can’t do this now.” Ryan whispered before turning quickly and leaving the room.

Ray stood there out of breath and in shock from the small soft gesture. That was his first kiss; the first time any affection had been shown to him. Ray squeezed his fingernails into the palms of his hands. “Fuck!” He shouted to himself before turning on the shower. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He whispered just to himself over and over. Ray tried to push down the feelings. 

Steam was starting to rise above the blue shower curtain and Ray jumped in; the stream of hot water hitting his body giving him goose bumps. Ray turned in circles letting the water cover his body the warmth reminded him of Ryan’s hands.

Ray shook his head trying to clear Ryan out of his thoughts. He had to remember that the Ryan he thought he knew was a fake, the real Ryan was a thief and a murderer. He turned to face the shower head and he let the warm water hit his face. Rubbing his hands over his face Ray held in the urge to cry about the mess his life had become. He had been shot and became the prisoner of a notorious street gang. All he wanted was a nice afternoon meeting someone who had meant everything to him.

Stepping out of the shower Ray wrapped the bandage around himself hooking it in the front and putting on the clothes Ryan had left. 

Walking out of the bathroom towel drying his hair Ray saw Michael pouring glasses of orange juice while Gavin sat on the couch watching cartoons wrapped in a throw blanket. 

“Ryan’s old clothes fit you nicely.” Michael said off handedly carrying two of the glass cups to the coffee table. 

Ray looked down at the baggy shirt and jeans and scowled to himself, “Where is Ryan?” He asked grabbing the last glass of juice off the counter taking a sip. 

Michael shrugged. “He made some eggs and left saying he was too busy and not hungry.” 

Ray looked into his little glass of juice; he really knew why Ryan left. 

“Help yourself to some breakfast.” Michael said sitting on the couch. Ray could already see the smoke rising from his lips. “Gavin and I are impatient fucks and we ate while you were in the shower.” 

Ray picked up the plate sitting on the counter next to a pan still half full of scrambled eggs. He used the spatula to put some on his plate before joining the other two on the couch to watch cartoons. “Isn’t it a little early for that?” Ray asked Michael. 

Michael shrugged. “Makes the eggs taste better.” He made a show of taking a long drag of a cigarette before shoveling eggs in his mouth.

“Nothing like lung cancer for breakfast,” Gavin smirked. 

Ray looked at the eggs moving them around on his plate, “Does Ryan usually cook for you guys?” 

“Every once in a while,” Michael nodded. “Usually when we’re all in a group hanging out at someone’s apartment. He’s brought stuff to the hide out before though.”

“Ryan the doughnut guy,” Gavin put his hands up in a cheer. 

The silence settled between them again while they all ate breakfast; Ray couldn’t stop his eyes from moving back to Michael in between every bite. 

“Need help with something?” Michael noticed, and Ray’s face went red. 

“No, I-.” Ray stuttered caught red handed. 

Michael picked up a joint off the table lighting it with his gold lighter. “I’m assuming you’re not interested in the cigarettes?”

Ray switched his plate out for the crudely wrapped joint. He placed it against his lips breathing in deeply letting it sting his lungs.

“I am not playing baby sitter all day,” Michael said standing up cracking his back before standing in front of the TV. “I know Ryan wanted us to stay put but; Geoff gave us a run to make. Ray you just gotta come along.” 

“What, why?” Ray sputtered coughing. 

“Because than technically we still protected you and Ryan can’t get mad.” Michael nodded. 

“Did Ryan say we were supposed to stay here?” Ray asked.

“He wanted you to stay.” Gavin said rolling off the couch. 

Ray frowned, “I’m not staying here all day.” 

Michael smirked. “You ever shot a gun before?” 

“I’ve played video games,” Ray shrugged. 

“Good enough; Gavin grab the spare.” Michael pointed to the kitchen.

Gavin nodded bounding off across the hardwood to the kitchen tucked into the corner of the large room. Gavin started digging through a drawer. 

“I’ll text Geoff and grab a shower, “Michael started to move toward the bedroom. “Gavin if you join me we’ll be done faster, maybe.” Michael said while hanging in the door way. 

Ray walked over to the kitchen putting his plate in the sink while draining the last of the juice out of his cup before placing it on top of the plate. He moved to look over Gavin’s shoulder watching the British man sort through drawers. 

“Bloody hell, where did I put it?” Gavin mumbled to himself. “Found it!” Gavin triumphantly held a pink pistol in the air above his head. “This is perfect for you.” He thrust the small gun into Ray’s hands. 

Ray stood there for a second, the weight was foreign, the metal cold. It made him uneasy to look down and see a weapon in his grasp. He kept his fingers far away from the trigger wrapping them carefully around the handle. 

“Don’t look like you’ve already shot somebody.” Gavin’s laugh was breathy.

Ray looked up at Gavin, was it that obvious? The look of terror and uncertainty that came when the gun was in his hands; he might have to kill someone with it. 

“Come on Gavin!” Michael was shouting from the other room. 

“Get familiar with your lovely lady.” Gavin waggled his eye brows before sprinting off to answer Michael’s call. 

Ray gave a half smile, that guy never seemed to sit still for long. Gavin had an air of energy around him. 

Ray walked back over to the couch setting the gun on the coffee table before settling in against the red cushions. The pink gun oddly enough looked right at home on the table next to the drugs. Ray frowned slightly, this was something he thought he would only ever see in Hollywood flicks not his own eyes. He could feel his hand twitch wanting to grab another joint; maybe he was more nervous than he thought about going out. Ray’s heart was starting to pick up its pace when it sunk in, this was his life right now. This wasn’t a crazy dream that he would wake up from in his own bed. To double check he even pinched himself, “Not a dream,” He mumbled. He wouldn’t be going home, work, his classes. He decided he should let someone know he was okay before swat teams were sent out. He checked his jeans pocket for his phone. He stood up frantically searching and researching all of his pockets when he didn’t find it in the usual one. That’s when Ray remembered these weren’t his pants but clothes that once belonged to Ryan. 

Ray hurried across the room back to the guest room down the hallway where he had thrown his dirty clothes. He picked his jeans up off the floor raiding the pockets, “Damn it.” He hissed to himself. Where the hell was his phone? 

“Ray!” Ray could hear Michael calling from the living room. 

Ray walked out of the guest room hurrying to the living room. “Hey have you seen my phone?” 

“Ryan probably took it.” Gavin said. 

Ray sighed. “How am I supposed to let everyone know I’m okay?”

“I think the point is you’re supposed to go missing,” Michael said towel drying his hair. “You were just shot, the people who shot you are hoping you’re dead; if not they’ll try again.”

Ray absentmindedly put his hand on his side over the wound, unfortunately the logic made sense. 

“Come on grab your gun and let’s roll.” Michael started for the door holding up a cellphone. “Geoff gave me all the instruction we need.”

Ray quickly walked across the room picking the pink gun up off the table before booking it to the front door. He slipped into his checkered vans while Michael grabbed keys off the key ring Ray slipped on his purple hoodie.

Ray followed behind the other two headed towards the elevator. Standing inside the square space Ray was still trying to figure out what to do with the weapon in his hand. “Uh,” Ray looked between Michael and Gavin. 

“Bloody hell,” Gavin took the gun from Ray’s hand. Gavin moved up Ray’s shirt so he could grip the seat of his pants. Gavin stuffed the gun in the space between the pants and Ray before synching Ray’s belt tight. “There,” Gavin smoothed Ray’s shirt back down over his jeans. “That might have been bad.” 

Ray just nodded as the doors slid open; he was surprised to see a row of cars instead of the pristine lobby. They had taken the elevator to the parking garage. Walking out of the elevator Ray felt like he was waddling expecting the gun to fall out of his pants at any moment. He noticed that all the cars had the same green star symbol detailed on them somewhere. One of the cars made a clunk and the tail lights flashed. 

“Good choice Michael,” Gavin praised. 

“Are all these yours?” Ray gawked. 

Michael nodded, “I’m the car guy.”

The car Michael had picked was a dark sleek almost vintage model. It looked restored and more equip to run in the modern era. Ray noticed a few holes in the side of the car; his hands were starting to sweat. He wondered if it was too late to turn back and go to the apartment.

Ray was still walking cautiously doing all but griping the gun sitting next to his butt. He peeked over Michael’s shoulder the freckled man was carrying. The back of the car had several different types of fire arms packed into it along with extra bullets, grenades, and bullet proof vests. Ray considered asking for one of those for a few seconds till the trunk slammed closed. 

Ray took the back seat while Michael climbed into the driver and Gavin on the passenger seat. Ray was trying to find a comfortable way to sit squirming in the seat while Gavin was up front-loading bullets into various weapons they had pulled from the trunk.


	5. Welcome to the Club

“What are we doing anyway?” Ray asked leaning forward between the seats.

“Geoff said it’s a simple drug money pick up,” Michael said. “Some groups been holding out on us and it’s time to collect. No one steals from Geoff; apparently these assholes never got that memo.” 

“Who is Geoff?” Ray asked, at this point he was the only member of the crew he hadn’t met yet. The more Ray sat there the more Geoff sounded like Charlie from Charlie’s angels; nothing more than a voice over the radio. 

“Geoff’s head of the crew,” Michael started explaining. “He brought us all together from petty thievery. Geoff’s in charge of the books and most of the plans; he’s the reason we’ve got a huge building as a cover over our base.” 

“It’s actually a real business,” Ray was surprised someone would go through all that for a cover. “What about all the people working there, are they part of the crew?” 

Michael shook his head, “No they actually work for the company; it’s banking. Geoff put’s them through rigorous tests and swears them to secrecy, he even makes sure they know they’re there for life before he hires.” 

Ray leaned back, so he was right; everyone there knew who they were working for. “Does he ever leave the office?” 

“Geoff’s a bad ass, people hide when he comes out.” Michael nodded. “He’s just a little busy running a banking empire.” 

Gavin was laughing, “You kiss ass Geoff can’t hear you from all the way out here.” Gavin turned around to look at Ray, “Michael’s thee Mogar he’s the bad ass everyone afraid of.” Gavin cupped his hands around his mouth. “He’s also a huge kiss up towards Geoff who eats it up.”

Michael wacked Gavin over the head making Ray smile, “Shut up Gavin!”

Gavin turned back around and Ray tried to remember; the name Mogar did sound familiar. Ray wished he had paid more attention to the news now instead of tossing his newspapers. He decided when they got back to the apartment some research was in order. 

Ray looked out the window noticing the tall buildings disappearing behind them. The city was leveling out to warehouses and moving boxes shoved into every crevice between them. The streets were thin as drawn lines and Ray was surprised the car was even still moving down the alley like spaces. He was more impressed by the U-haul trucks parked in the gravel lots next to the warehouses; how did they get out? The water line was showing up and the car was getting slower, Ray could feel his chest tighten. He could see the boats and jet skis bopping up and down in the ocean that surrounded the city of Los Santos. This was a popular place to store water crafts; he’d heard stories though that people got in and out as soon as possible. Ray would now be in those horror stories people heard and he would be the monster terrorizing fisherman or people who love the water.

The car stopped and Ray looked up at the front seat watching Gavin and Michael touch their knuckles together before Michael looked back at Ray, “We’ll be in and out, stay put.” 

Ray nodded watching them get out of the car. He watched from the window as Michael and Gavin approached a group of people huddled around boxes each had a cigarette hanging from their lips. Ray noticed their postures change as Michael and Gavin got closer; Gavin was flashing his gun probably too much. The group stood taller pulling their shoulders back and Ray noticed a few reach behind them and he knew they also had defense. Michael started to say something and Ray wished he could hear what was going on. They had left the car running he could probably roll down a window. Gavin was laughing and Ray was getting more curious. Before Ray could make the decision to roll the window down or not he watched the casual talking turn to yelling as guns flashed in the morning sun. Ray could feel his breath catch in his throat; he could feel the tension rising all the way in the car. The group of enemies continued to talk and it was obviously strained. 

There was a sharp pop muffled by the window Ray had decided to leave up. Ray watched it all happen in seconds, someone had pulled a trigger; Michael and Gavin were scrambling back to the car. Michael was signaling to Ray throwing his free arm wildly down over and over. 

Ray understood, get down. He laid back against the seats putting his arm over his head and lifting his knees to his chest. Bullets crashed through the window breaking the glass causing it to shower down on Ray. He pulled himself into a tighter ball reaching behind him feeling the gun slip free form his waistline.   
The two doors in front opened and suddenly the car jerked forward and the hailing of bullets slowed to pings and a broken rear window.

“Fuck I just got this car fixed!” Michael cursed from the front. “Fucking shoot them!” 

“I’m trying!” Gavin shouted back leaning himself out the window. 

Ray steeled himself getting a firm grip on the pink steeled weapon he’d been sitting on. He pulled it out with shaky finger slowly sitting up. Ray thought for a second he could try and shoot out the already busted back window, but instead his jello legs carried him to the far window behind Michael’s seat. He mimicked Gavin leaning out the window. 

Ray was squinting, the air rushing past his glasses stinging his eyes and causing them to water. Michael was taking hard corners around buildings and trucks trying to lose the pursuers and Ray was swaying. He braced himself with his free hand holding in a cruse as broken glass nicked his skin. 

Ray pointed the gun straight out closing his eyes and pulling the trigger. When he peeked a second later nothing had changed. Ray tried to steady the pistol in his hand; he pulled the trigger his eyes closing on instinct. This time a popping sound came after the guns initial fire sound. Ray watched the car skid, he took another shot quick as he could and another pop filled the air accompanied by the sound of a burn out. Ray watched the car behind them spin out both front tires nothing but the metal rims scraping the ground. The car crashed into a pile of boxes that cushioned it from smashing into a brick wall. 

Ray fell back into the car where Michael and Gavin were cheering. 

“Dude that was awesome!” Michael shouted.

“You sure you’ve never handled a gun before?” Gavin laughed.

Ray shrugged with a smirk, “Told ya, video games.” he winked at Gavin.

Michael put his phone on the dash board ringing on speaker.

“Hello?” an unfamiliar voice answered. 

Michael was taking another hard corner, “Geoff there were some complications.” 

“Fuck I thought you said this was gonna be easy?” Geoff scolded. 

“We know their hide out location we can go back and destroy them, they were ready for us; new kid saved our ass though.” Michael praised Ray.   
Ray smiled in the back giving a thumbs up hoping Michael could spot it in the rearview. He caught part of Michaels smile back in the mirror.

“New kid?” Geoff questioned, “Why don’t you guys stop by the office?” 

“Sure thing on our,” Michael was cut short by Ray.

“Watch out!” Ray stood leaning forward on the front seat pointing out the windshield. 

Gavin screeched along with the tires as Michael jerked the steering wheel to avoid going up the current ally which had a truck coming towards them blaring its horn. Ray tumbled back into the seats searching for the seatbelts. 

“Fuck!” Michael shouted. 

Ray felt weightless for half a second his butt lifting an inch off the seat as the car went air borne sailing off the dock. There were multiple voices shouting blowing out the speakers on Michaels phone now sliding around on the dash board. He was sure his heart had stopped only to be revived by the car slapping the water and his butt falling back to the seat cushions. 

“Abandon ship!” Gavin yelled yanking on his door while the car was sinking. “It’s stuck,” he whined.

Rays heart was pounding; he could hear the water rushing in the broken windows while the car slowly sank. The voices from the phone had stopped and he could hear someone splashing through the water; Michael was probably looking for his phone. “Guys the back windows,” Ray was frantic. They weren’t flooding yet the cars nose going first. 

It was an awkward quick movement for Ray to push himself out the window, ignoring the minor cuts from the glass, and fall into the water. It was warm at least with the sun beating down on the calm dark water. Ray watched Michael push Gavin out the window and from the outside of the sinking vehicle it was a funny sight. Gavin made unique noises while Michael grumbled under his breathe his face turning red. Ray wondered if it was from strain or the anger boiling in the man’s blood.

“Fucking need a new car, new phone,” Michael huffed while crawling onto the dock.

“Geoff will get you all that in no time,” Gavin said struggling to pull himself up onto the splintery wood. 

Ray saluted the car going down like the titanic, “Are we supposed to call like a tow truck or someone to fish it out?” he asked.

Michael waved him off, “Geoff will take care of it.”

Ray looked up, “At least we’ll dry quickly,” he could already feel the sun baking him. 

“We’ll be well done in no time,” Gavin chuckled.

Michael thumped Gavin in the back of the head.

Ray was glad for a millisecond that Ryan had taken his phone, at least it was saved from being ruined now. Still he was annoyed about not being able to contact anyone to let them know he was alright. His mom was always afraid he would die when he moved to the city; he might as well have. He didn’t even have any money on him to use a payphone. Ray knew better though; keep everyone out of it who didn’t need to be involved. It kept things simpler and everyone safe. 

“Think we should show up with tacos or something?” Michael asked. 

Rays stomach gurgled, “Would it hurt?”

The trio started their long trek back from the docks to the center of the city. All of them had their eyes out for a Taco stand that Gavin swore by, so Michael had decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and go with his pick. It took them half an hour of Gavin forgetting where the stand was and getting them lost until they finally found the right street corner. 

Ray watched Michael pull crisp bills out of his wallet and pay for 20 tacos.

Michael handed the bag of semi warm tacos over to Ray who held onto it like his life depended on it. 

They continued down the street and Ray realized how different Los Santos felt on foot and not stuffed into an over packed bus like a sardine. He watched the heat rise from the pavement and wondered if steam was rising from his body. He was practically dry from their dip in the ocean.

“Anyone got a smoke on them?” Ray asked. 

“If it’s a joint you’re after wait till we get there,” Michael answered. 

“I lost my cigarettes in the car,” Gavin sighed. 

Ray shrugged it off still wishing that at least he had something to do while they walked in silence. He hugged the warm bag of food closer to himself.

Looking up at the building still the same shining green in the day time as the sun streamed through the glass brightening the walls Ray could feel his stomach drop. It seemed taller than all the other buildings, an intimidating shadow. Walking in he remembered Ryan’s freak out pining a guy to the wall. Ray looked over at the secretary wondering if she remembered too; she never looked up as they walked by. 

Ray continued to feel like he was living last night again as he walked into the boiler room and saw the door behind the boiler almost hidden in the wall; the slim seam gave away it’s hiding place.

The secret base underneath the well-maintained building was warmer than the rest of the building and the lights seemed even dimmer than last night. 

“Do you guys ever have these meeting anywhere besides death cave?” Ray asked.

“Sometimes,” Michael informed. “It kind of depends if it’s too hot down here to function or how high security the topic of the day is.” 

Ray tripped over his own feet stumbling when he saw the familiar figure at the end of the hallway. 

“We brought tacos!” Michael shouted fists pumped in the air.

Ray held up the bag on cue trying to hide behind it. 

“You’re welcome,” Michael nodded to Ryan who just scowled. 

Michael remained unfazed but, Ray notice Gavin’s movement’s tightening.

Ray almost froze his mouth opening slightly as he got close enough to notice Ryan’s facial features. Ray hurried behind Michael, “What the hell is on his face?” Ray hissed into Michael’s ear.

“Sometimes he paints his face,” Michael shrugged. “Don’t ask me or anyone else why, we really can’t tell you,” Michael gestured with his hands. “It’s just one of his things.”

Ray sighed on the inside, just another strange behavior pushed to the side.

As Ray walked in the door was shut behind him and he could practically feel Ryan’s breath on the back of his neck. 

“I’m the one with the tacos!” Ray tried to sound cheerful setting the bag on the smooth round table in the middle of the room.

As the paper bag crunched Ray was trying to sneak peeks at the man he didn’t recognize in the chair. It had to be Geoff.

“What the fuck happened on the phone?” the man Ray guessed to be Geoff asked. 

“My car might be sitting in the ocean by the docks; might have hit the bottom by now,” Michael took a seat at the table digging into the bag. 

Geoff just sighed.

“I also need a new phone,” Michael said while unwrapping his taco. 

Geoff groaned, “And you,” he pointed to Ray who was distracted watching his handlebar mustache move as he talked. “You the new guy Michael started praising before he forgot how to drive?”

Ray nodded, “Yes,” he paused. “Sir.”

Geoff chuckled, “Why don’t any of you dicks show me that respect?” 

“Whatya talkin bout?” Michael spoke around a lump of taco shell.

Geoff leaned back in his chair, “What did you do on your first day on the job that was so spectacular?” 

Ray gulped his palms sweating. Geoff was looking him up and down with his intense blue eyes; almost as blue as Ryan’s but with less ice, “I shot out some tires.”

“I can do that every damned day,” Geoff boasted. “I don’t see the hype.” 

“This kids never held a bloody gun before,” Gavin bounced on his toes. “Ray also literally hit them with his eyes closed.” 

“Why were your eyes closed?” Geoff smirked.

Ray shrugged, he was pretty sure Geoff knew.


	6. Work Related Hazards

“How do you know he didn’t just get lucky?” Geoff continued the questioning. 

“No one gets lucky enough to take out both front tires in two shots with a pistol,” Gavin threw his hands out while he explained. 

Ray thought about correcting Gavin, technically it was three shots but, two sounded cooler. 

Geoff seemed to be mulling it over slowly reaching over to grab lunch. Ray watched him pull a taco out of the bag, unwrap it, and slowly chew it. Ray was trying not to bounce his foot anxiously. 

Geoff finally swallowed, “You think you’ve got what it takes to roll with us?” 

Ray nodded quickly, “If not I learn fast.”

“Why should we trust you? You’re some kid that accidently got tangled in with us. Why shouldn’t I just kill you and go on with my day?”

Ray’s hands were sweating. He didn’t want to be part of a gang; it was never a dream of his. It didn’t sound like some great adventure; he was really just tired and wanted to go home, “I was always taught how to play by the rules.” 

“Let’s test that theory,” Geoff leaned back in his chair. “I’m getting my money back no matter what. I understand the last little mission was unsuccessful so you’ll be trying again. We have a guest down the hall that might even help make things go a little smoother this time,” Geoff nodded over to Ryan. 

“Hope you’ve got a strong stomach,” Ryan mumbled. 

Ray waited for Michael and Gavin to go first putting space between himself and Ryan. Gavin seemed to be putting the same play into action hiding behind Michael. Michael and Ryan were chatting about something that Ray couldn’t hear; he was too busy scanning Ryan’s horrifying face paint. It was smudgy black around his eyes, red around the top of his mouth, and white on the bottom of the layer cake of horror. Ray noticed strands of Ryan’s long hair falling out of his messy ponytail; the wisps curled slightly. 

Ray bumped into Gavin who had suddenly stopped. 

“I asked you to do one thing!” Ryan was shouting, “I told you to watch him!”

“We did watch him!” Michael shouted back with equal force.

“You damn well know what I meant,” Ryan was towering over Michael. 

Michael held his ground, “Geoff told us to go, were we supposed to just ignore that?” 

“It was a fucking one man job,” the shouting match continued from Ryan. 

Michael’s face was beet red, “Everything is a one man job to you. The rest of us like having someone watch our back.”

Ray noticed Ryan’s eyes flicker to him shooting icy daggers. Ray couldn’t turn his gaze away fast enough. 

When the footsteps were echoing down the hall is when Ray started to follow behind Gavin again. He noticed a slight decline in the floor and he didn’t understand how the bunker could go any lower. Ray also noticed how the floor went from dark tile to dirt and the walls were unpainted cement. He was almost positive there was a leak somewhere judging on the moss growing on the walls but, he wasn’t a botanist. 

They stopped walking again but, this time Ray stopped on a dime. He watched Ryan unlock a heavy looking metal door. It squeaked on its hinges as he pulled. Ray really didn’t want to go in, like a child afraid of a haunted house, it looked like death. There was no backing out now; Ray had already said he wanted to be part of the group. This was his weird initiation. If he wanted some freedom and a chance to lose his baby sitters so he could leave he had to fit in.

Ray took note of the cells as he walked into the long room that mocked a TV jail setting. All the cells looked built into the concrete wall with the bars placed in the front of the shallow rooms. The doors to the cells were all double locked with pad locks; they each had one wooden chair sitting inside of them. Ray noticed pieces of cut rope on the floor in some and chains attached to the chairs in others. Ray could just make out the bare bones of the room; it was dimly lit with bulbs handing from the ceiling. Ryan was pulling the chains as they walked to turn them on one at a time. The long hallway made the rest of the base look like a hospital quality facility.   
Ray stopped again as the group slowed down and Ryan pulled the last light chain turning it on. Ray was stunned. 

A man was tied to a wooden chair with thick rope. He had blood dry and cracking in some spots on his face while other cuts looked like they’d been freshly made. There was duct tape across his mouth but, it was clear he was trying to shout; Ray didn’t imagine it was anything too nice. The man’s shouts were just muffled grumbles with lots of air blowing through his crooked, bloodied nose. Ray deduced it was broken. 

Gavin made a gagging noise when the man was revealed, and Ray looked at him nervously, “You okay?”

Gavin nodded, “Reflex,” he shrugged.

Ryan was walking behind the man with hungry eyes, like a lion about to devour its prey. Each step left a loud impression in the small quiet space, like the ticking of a clock; it left Ray in anticipation. When Ryan was directly behind the man he fished into his pockets pulling out a switchblade. 

Ryan ripped the tape off the man’s mouth; it made Ray flinch. The look in Ryan’s eyes was like nothing Ray had seen before. The blue was brighter than ever in the dim lights, it was almost unnatural. 

The man yelled and cursed when the silver tape was ripped off until Ryan smacked the side of his head. 

Ray noticed Michael square his shoulders out. 

“I see you’ve gotten to know my friend a little bit already,” Michael gestured to the man’s nose and dried blood on his face. “He wants to finish the job but, you help me and I won’t sick the dog on you.” 

Ray couldn’t believe some cheesy gang movie was happening right in front of him. 

“What do you wanna know?” the man asked. 

“Your guys have been stealing from us, I want to know whose paying them to double cross the fake AH crew,” Michael leaned in closer to the man’s face. 

The man spit at Michael, “I ain’t telling you shit,” he growled.

Ray could see Michaels jaw set even in the lack of light. 

There was a quick nod and a swift hand motion and the man was screaming, Gavin had jumped back, and Ray was afraid. 

Ryan had shoved his knife into the man’s shoulder at Michaels command twisting it after he buried it. 

“He’s for more than just show,” Michael hissed at the crying man. 

Ray watched the movie continue to unfold in front of him.

Ryan ripped the knife out of the man’s body gripping his hair and jerking his head up, “It’s rude to ignore someone who’s talking to you,” he hissed. 

“Take two,” Michael’s smile was wicked. “Where’s the extra cash coming from?” 

The man was silent for a few seconds. That’s all it took for Michael to give another nod and Ryan to swiftly punch the man. 

“Where’s the fucking extra cash coming from?” Michael growled. 

“The construction site,” the man blurted out. “Our guys get paid from the porta potty on the top of the new sky scraper being built across from the square central bank.” 

“I hope it was a fuck ton of money worth betraying us for,” Michael spat. “Ryan I’ll let you finish up.” 

“Wait!” the man yelled. “Hey! Wait hold on!” he continued on even as Michael started walking back out down the hallway.

The man was hollering shaking his chair trying to escape. 

Ryan quickly slapped the tape back over the man’s mouth.

Gavin started following Michael leaving Ray to look between the back of Gavin’s head and the man trying desperately to escape Ryan. Ray opted to follow behind Gavin pretending he didn’t know what was coming next for the poor man tied to the chair. 

“What the fuck!” Ray exclaimed as they walked back out the metal door. 

“What?” Michael looked behind him. 

“He fucking told you what you needed to know and you let Ryan kill him,” Ray snapped. 

“He was a dead man walking anyway,” Michael shrugged. “If he went back to his crew and we stole their money they would know he talked, he would be the only one to blame. They would have shot him point blank. Ryan was really in the mood for a kill any way.” 

“You make him sound like some wild animal,” Ray mumbled.

“He really is,” Michael snickered. “A beast you just haven’t seen yet.” 

Ray came to a stop watching as Michael and Gavin continued up to the main space of the hide out. It was the first time for the past few days of being swept into a gang that Ray thought he was going to puke. He could feel the gag in the back of his throat. 

Instead of following Michael and Gavin back to where Geoff and Jack were hanging out he went the opposite direction to get some air.

Ray walked up to the boiler room once again past all the people who knew they were working for criminals but, continued to do so. What was going through their heads? What made a person okay with working for a bunch of people knowing well one day they could get in trouble for aiding criminals? Was it desperation; was their history so bad they could only earn a job among thieves? Ray took these thoughts with him out the door back to the busy city.   
He didn’t see Los Santos the same anymore, anyone who kept eye contact with him made him feel uncomfortable. Did they know; were they also part of a gang- possibly a rival? Ray sighed closing his eyes and leaning against the building. 

“You look like you could use a smoke,” a friendly voice was speaking, and it sounded like it was referring to Ray. 

Ray opened his eyes immediately on high alert.

A man who stood around Ray’s height with sandy hair blonde hair and hazel eyes was holding out a packet of smokes. Ray was hesitant for about a second before gratefully taking a cigarette. 

“Um,” Ray pretended to check his pockets, “I don’t have a-“ 

“Here you go,” the man held out a lighter.

“Thanks,” Ray nodded. 

“So you work here?” the man asked looking up at the tall green building. 

Ray nodded busy flicking the lighter to start his nicotine filled future. Ray inhaled as soon as the fire caught letting the smoke fill his lungs. 

“What’s your position?” the man continued to question.

Ray was feeling uneasy, “Intern,” it was the quickest thing he could come up with; and almost the truth. 

“I didn’t think they would let anyone intern after me,” the man laughed. “Geoff said the whole ordeal had cost him too much. Michael and Gavin loved it though.” 

Ray relaxed slightly taking another drag; this man was one of them. 

“Kerry Shawcross,” the man held out his hand, “The IT division of the,” he paused, “Group.” 

Ray took Kerry’s hand giving it a good shake. 

“They called me in to do some work, you here to escort me in?” Kerry asked. 

“I was actually just on an air break,” Ray smiled. 

Kerry nodded, “I know how that is.”

Ray doubted that but was thankful Kerry tried to sympathize.

“Still wanna walk me inside?” Kerry nudged Ray with his elbow. 

Ray looked at his wrist bare of any watch, “Oh would you look at the time. Guess my breaks over.” Ray took one more drawn out cigarette drag before dropping it to the pavement and grinding it down with the heel of his shoe.

Ray exhaled his cloud of smoke out to the streets ignoring the people giving him dirty looks as they walked through his cloud. 

Ray held the door open for Kerry watching the man quickly walk in nodding hello’s to people as he passed. Kerry gave off a friendly energy and everyone around him picked up on it. Ray hadn’t seen a single person in the company smile until Kerry walked past them. Ray was supposed to be escorting Kerry but, instead he felt more like he was being led again. Even this guy Ray had never met could tell he was the follower. 

Walking back into the main meeting room of the crew’s hide out every eye was on them. Ray felt like every eye was on him more specifically. The crew was huddled around the table and it looked as if Kerry and he had walked in on some serious meeting time. Ryan was standing the straightest his shoulders square. While the rest of the guys moved their gazes Ryan’s stayed firm locked with Ray’s. 

“Where the fuck did you go?” Ryan barked

“A smoke break,” Ray shrugged, “I was right outside.” 

“God damn it you can’t just leave!” Ryan was closing the space between them.

Ray watched Kerry scoot clear across the room to the other wall to move out of Ryan’s path; that didn’t make Ray feel any better. 

As Ryan got closer Ray could see his hands and face more clearly. He jumped back just out of Ryan’s grasp. 

Ryan just looked annoyed. 

A starring contest had started, Ryan held a fire in his gaze while Ray had no idea what his expression was sharing. The tension was rising with each second that ticked by.


	7. Chapter 7

Jack stepped in, “What are you doing here Kerry?” 

Kerry walked across the room to the table like it was a minefield. Ray was afraid to even breathe still taking in Ryan’s bold new look. 

“Geoff had called me in a few days ago to help him check on some book keeping,” Kerry informed. “Plus a quick check of the security I installed.”

“Think I can bother you for one more job?” Geoff asked.

Kerry nodded, “You are the boss.” 

“We need some new ID’s for a couple of the guys,” Geoff started to explain. 

“You got it,” Kerry nodded. 

“You really killed him!” Ray finally exploded; he couldn’t hold it in anymore. 

The blood was all over Ryan’s hands like he had beaten the poor man to death. The blood had even smeared across his face mixing with the face paint he had already been wearing. Ray knew it was going to happen, Michael had even told him what was going to happen. Something about actually seeing the blood covering the man in front of him sent chills down his spine.

Ryan shook his head, “Ray calm down.” 

“It’s not like it was Ryan’s first murder,” Michael snickered. 

“I think it’s time to go home,” Ryan took a step towards Ray. 

Ray equaled him in another step back, “I can take myself, or have one of the lads take me. Get away from me.” 

“Ryan, I need you here to talk strategy,” Geoff said. “You’re going to be a main point in the plan.” 

“Email me the details,” Ryan snapped. 

“You know it doesn’t work that way,” Geoff’s voice was leveled and dangerous. 

“Really I can find my own way home,” Ray assured. “I have a really good memory.”

“Ryan,” Geoff said, “Just let the kid go. If he runs I know you’ll have no trouble hunting him down. Ray,” Geoff was now looking at Ray.

Ray nodded curtly.

“You’re gonna be part of this crew killing people is just another part of the job,” Geoff’s voice was cold. 

Ray said nothing more quickly taking the keys from Michael and heading back off outside. Ray really did remember every twist and turn to the apartment, he was glad he had looked out the window instead of talking to Ryan now. He was there in no time.

There was someone in front of the building trying to open the door with their arms full of boxes. Ray hurried to the person’s side steadying the packages and opening the door for them. 

“Thanks,” the man said from behind the boxes. 

“Want some help all the way up?” Ray asked. 

The man shook his head, “I’m just dropping them at the front desk for the manager.” 

“What is it you’re dropping off?” Ray asked. 

“Blue prints,” the man said. “I’m in the construction business and the manager here wanted a remodeling job done, so I’m showing him his options.” 

Hearing construction made Ray think back to the crew, they were trying to get into a construction crew. 

“Are you working on the new skyscraper?” Ray blurted. 

The man nodded, “I have my guys on that project.” 

“Think I could get you to take in a few extra guys?” Ray asked. 

“Are they good?” The man questioned.

Ray nodded. 

“Could they come by tomorrow?” the man asked. 

“Sure thing,” Ray assured.

“And it’s a few guys?” the man raised a brow.

“Like maybe four want the job,” Ray shrugged unsure how many were actually going in field. 

The man scratched his chin, “That’s uh, a lot of guys. I guess more help is better than less though. You’ve got yourself a deal.” The man held out his hand. 

“Awesome,” Ray shook it. 

“The names Joel, ask for me when you stop by I’ll be in the little house looking thing,” Joel informed. 

“Ray.” 

“So you live here?” 

“Yea, not alone though I could never afford this myself,” Ray laughed. It felt like he was shooting the breeze like on any other day with a neighbor in his old apartment, “My friend Ryan,” he paused but there was no turning back the name was out there, “He helps me pay for it.” 

Joel looked like he was about to say something cut off by the beeping of his watch, “Shit I gotta go, see ya hopefully tomorrow,” he quickly made his exit.

Ray waved even though he was sure Joel couldn’t see it. 

In the elevator Ray wondered if he would be praised or scolded for having that conversation with Joel. It could help them get a leg up if Ray vouched for them, maybe Kerry wouldn’t have to write up so many fake documents. Ray had been a good citizen that usually paid off in the end somehow; or would get him killed. 

Ray decided not to worry about that bridge till he crossed and instead worried about raiding the cupboards for something to snack on when he got inside the apartment. Ray found the stash of every junk food known to man in a cabinet in the corner of the kitchen. When he opened it hostess cakes came tumbling down on him like an avalanche. Ray couldn’t keep the smile off his face picking up all the fallen cake and shoving them back into the over packed cupboard instead reaching around for something less sweet. He reached around to the back of the cabinet grabbing a bag of salt and vinegar chips with one hand while keeping the hostess cakes from falling back out with the other. 

Ray took his treasure to the couch lying against the cushions looking at the ceiling. His eyes wandered to the coffee table covered in ash trays, open cigarette packets, and joints. The glittering of the chrome lighter got his attention. Ray set the bag of chips on its own section of couch before he swung his legs back out and sat up chewing on his bottom lip, just one.  
Ray picked up the chrome lighter and put the joint in his mouth bending his head down low while he flicked the lighter to life. The flame sputtered and soon Ray could feel the smoke start to infiltrate his body. Ray kept breathing in deep and exhaling large clouds into the apartment. The first few times he worried about setting off a smoke detector but, after his second joint he stopped caring.  
While Ray kept lighting and letting his body become a smoke stack nothing else mattered. The world around him started to melt away as he experimented with the smoke coming from his lips trying to replicate designs he’d seen done before like the classic ring. He played around getting to his third feeling like he was floating on a cloud, he was laid against the couch again and the ceiling was dancing; Ray felt perfect. 

Ray sat up unsure how much time had passed grabbing the bag of chips he had left sitting next to him and tore them open. He started shoving as many chips in his mouth as he could till the salt made them tingle. The crunching filled his ears like static on the radio. With the crunching sounds in his ear he hadn’t heard the door open. 

Ray felt a hand rest on his shoulder; he slowly turned around seeing a hazy black skull mask making him flinch. He shut his eyes and opened them again still seeing the black skull still looming over him.

The man in the mask sighed and the more recognizable sight of Ryan in his face paint made Ray smile, for a second he saw Ryan as he had imagined him even with the stupid face paint. 

Ray never noticed how handsome Ryan really was till he sat there just looking at the man that had won his heart over in the stupidest way through the phone. Ryan’s hair was light brown and long enough to be tied back, with bangs hanging in his eyes. His blue eyes were like glaciers that Ray got lost in exploring. It was hard to tell with the face paint but Ryan had some stubble growing; Ray secretly hopped t wouldn’t grow past that. Ryan was thick like a brick wall and Ray just wanted to lean against him.

Ryan leaned forward, “What are you doing?”

Ray just held the bag of chips out to Ryan feeling speechless. 

“How much did you fucking smoke?” 

Ray still remained silent while Ryan straightened out his spine running his fingers through his hair while he sighed.

“You’re beautiful.” 

“What?” 

“I fucking love you,” Ray whispered. 

It was true, through all the crazy and the bad that had happened so quickly Ray had held onto the Ryan that captured his heart with video games. Ray hadn’t given up on the feelings that had flooded him in the bathroom and crept up on him every time he was in the same room as Ryan. 

“No you don’t,” Ryan shook his head his hair dancing around his face.

“Why are you so afraid?” Ray’s face scrunched up.

“I’m not afraid of anything,” Ryan growled.

Ray stood wobbling, “You’re afraid of me.” 

Ryan put a hand on Ray’s shoulder steadying him.

Ray flopped forward leaning against the older man’s chest closing his eyes. This is how he pictured it from day one; being alone and just breathing next to someone for all he knew could have never existed. Ryan really was like a brick wall holding Ray’s weight without even flinching. 

“I’m not afraid of you,” Ray whispered in the warmth of Ryan’s t-shirt.

Ray felt Ryan’s nose rest on the top of his head. 

“Fuck I’m afraid for you,” he whispered. “I thought I was in the clear and you were safe but, I was wrong.” 

Ray let the words seep into his skin. 

“I never wanted to drag you into this but, I wanted to see you,” Ryan put his arms around Ray. 

“I’m here now and there’s no going back,” Ray whispered into Ryan’s chest. “Just call me Mr. Dangerous.” 

Ryan’s laugh was fake but, it rumbled through his chest like an earthquake just the same and Ray appreciated it. 

“I fucking love you,” Ray repeated the mantra he’d never have the courage to say on any other night. 

“I love you too,” Ryan said catching Ray off guard. 

Ray hadn’t expected to hear the words from Ryan and wondered how high he was for a second. It didn’t matter though in that moment as Ray looked up to meet glacier eyes and melted into a kiss that seemed to last a life time.

Ryan eventually pulled away and Ray desperately tried to reach his lips again. Ray let Ryan carefully lead him to the couch like a horse to water; taking him by the hand and helping him sit down on the red plush cushions. 

Ray moved from the cushions instead situating himself in Ryan’s lap. Ryan slowly laid back and Ray laid on top of him listening to his heart beat as he breathed. Ray reached out for a joint on the table. 

“Ah,” Ryan slapped his hand down.

“Hey,” Ray whined. 

“You’ve had enough,” Ryan grabbed for a cigarette instead lighting it up. 

“That’s not fair,” Ray frowned.  
Ray silently pouted watching Ryan light the cigarette with a red and black lighter that looked a lot like his face paint. 

“Can you take that off?” Ray pointed to his face. 

Ryan blew smoke in Ray’s face, “Maybe later.” 

Ray inhaled while Ryan exhaled. They laid in perfect harmony.


	8. Inside Job

“I met a man today,” Ray said offhandedly in his haze.

Ray could feel Ryan’s body shift a little at the statement, “Was he cuter than me?” was all he asked. 

Ray shook his head, “You had him beat by a mile. He was dropping off blueprints for the apartment complex; he’s in construction. He also happens to work at the one across from the square central bank. You and whoever else is working there have an interview tomorrow.” 

Ray could feel Ryan’s muscles tense, “Did you use our names?” Ryan asked. 

“I’m not an idiot.” Ray didn’t mention he had said Ryan. 

“I’ll text Geoff and let him know,” Ryan started to dig into his pocket and Ray sat up giving him more room to move. 

Ray watched Ryan type away on his phone and thought about his own phone wondering for a second if he could ask Ryan for it back, instead thought he looked at the table. 

“You think Michael’s gonna be pissed I smoked so much?” He asked.

“I’ll get him some more,” Ryan shrugged putting his phone back into his pocket. 

“Where are Michael and Gavin anyway?” Ray asked. 

“They decided to have a night out or something,” Ryan said, “They do that sometimes where they go out for drinks and stay at a hotel banging all night. Like a date night.”

Ray smirked laying back on top of Ryan nuzzling into his neck, “Let’s have a date night,” he purred. 

Ryan’s arms tightened around Ray’s torso. 

Ray started to place kisses along Ryan’s neck and the man reacted stretching his head to the side allowing Ray more access across his jaw line. Ray moved his arms to Ryan’s shoulders, so he could move himself higher placing kisses on the corners of Ryan’s mouth before kissing him on the lips. Ryan sat up straighter pressing harder against Ray and Ray was wrapping his legs around Ryan’s rising torso. Ray let his fingers get lost in Ryan’s hair taking out the ponytail and letting it dance just above his shoulders. Ray knew one thing for certain in his high haze; he hoped he couldn’t walk straight tomorrow. 

Ray slowly woke up in bed alone. He sat up quickly looking around the room; it was dark. He looked over to the only small window in the room, the curtains were closed but he could see light filtering in from underneath. It was day time. Ray frowned trying to remember the night before; did Ryan take him to the bedroom? He didn’t have a shirt on so that might have been a sign of something happening. Ryan should have been next to him, it didn’t even look like anyone had pulled the sheets back on the other side of the bed. Ray could feel his heart sink, what happened last night after the couch? Ray laid back down rubbing his hands over his eyes till he saw stars, he still had his boxers on, would he care enough to put those back on afterward? 

In the middle of his pondering a noise that sounded like pans being moved around came from outside the door. Ray sniffed the air catching a whiff of bacon for the first time. Ray sprang out of bed clearing the space to the door in three strides. He opened it to see a shirtless Ryan standing with his back to him in the kitchen. Ryan without a shirt was another good sign, Ray hopped his cheeks weren’t too red.

Ray crept out of the bedroom sneaking across the living room noticing the ashtrays were emptied, the evidence of last night probably in the garbage. Ray wasn’t sure why a pit was starting to form in his stomach. 

Ray quickly cleared the room to the kitchen proud of himself for not stepping on one squeaky floor board. Ray quickly threw his arms around Ryan’s torso resting his head on his muscular back. 

“Morning,” Ray mumbled still dispelling sleep.

“Get off,” Ryan tried to shrug away getting closer to the stove.

Ray released, the pit in his stomach grew, “Ryan,” he said softly. 

Ryan said nothing. 

“Not a morning after person,” Ray tried to joke. 

“Nothing happened,” Ryan was like stone. 

Ray’s shoulders slumped, and silence settled in save the sizzling bacon.

Ray kept studying Ryan’s back trying to think of something snappy to come back with when he noticed the scars covering Ryan’s skin. Some were long lines, some were oddly shaped, and they varied from shallow to deep. Some looked very ugly while some looked like they had been cleanly done. Ray gently traced his finger across a scar that ran from shoulder to shoulder; it was deep the white line clearly raised.

“Do you want me to burn this?” Ryan snapped. 

Ray moved back his hands balling into fists, “God damn it! Can you stop playing this fucking game!” he shouted. 

Ray watched Ryan’s muscles tense up.

“You said you loved me, I was stoned off my ass but I’ve been waiting to hear that for days; fuck for months! That’s the last thing I was going to forget,” Ray trailed off. “I thought we settled this.” 

Ryan turned around revealing his lack of face paint and defeated expression, “Ray I can’t.” 

“Last night you said you could!” Ray could feel tears pricking his eyes, “Could you stop jerking me around already and decide?” 

“Ray dangerous people.” 

“Are after you, I know,” Ray finished the sentence for him, “And I don’t care. We’re a team, a whole crew. I’ll learn to take care of myself it’ll be okay. I have no choice anymore! Are you really going to ignore me when I am right in front of you?” 

Ryan shook his head his hair still dancing around his neck, “You can’t even handle the thought of killing someone, how are you actually gonna complete the task? You’ll die because you won’t be able to fucking pull the trigger and the other guy won’t even hesitate!” Ryan banged his fist against the counter top.

Ray moved back a step. For a second he could feel his body trembling. This was the beastly part of Ryan people knew to fear. Ray was still trying to understand. 

Ryan’s lips curved into a twisted smirk, “I’ve killed countless people, for work, for fun. Ray I’m a fucking monster,” he stepped forward. 

Ray stood his ground his eyes scanning the ground.

“You should be terrified!” Ryan growled. “The Ryan I let you believe in is nothing more than a fantasy. Me, I’m a murderer and that’s something you can never change.”

“I don’t want to change it,” Ray shook his head. “I want to get to know it, but you keep running away. You’re still Ryan, you still like video games, you still make me laugh, you’re still sweet, Ray counted on his fingers. “And I can learn to do what needs to be done, I can learn about you; the other versions of you.” 

Ryan flinched at Ray’s words his mouth moving slightly. 

Ray tested his luck moving forward and throwing his arms around Ryan’s neck. Ryan latched his arms around Ray’s torso. 

“I love you,” Ryan whispered. 

Ray smiled before jumping away from Ryan, “Shit Ryan!” he shouted pointing at the bacon now set ablaze. 

Ryan quickly grabbed a lid from a drawer putting it over the pan where the bacon sat in flames.   
“Let’s not burn down the apartment,” Ryan said. 

“Is this the part where you carry me out Mr. Fireman?” Ray batted his eyes.

Ryan smirked scooping Ray up throwing him over his shoulder and taking him to the living room. 

While walking past the coffee table Ray noticed the pink pistol sitting on it. 

“My gun!” Ray reached out like a child reaching for a toy. “I thought I lost it in the car.” 

“When we pulled the car from the ocean yesterday I found it in the back seat and fixed it up,” Ryan said. “You said you could learn, better to start soon.” 

Ryan placed Ray gently on the couch before moving back into the kitchen. The bacon situation had changed what they would be having for breakfast. Ryan came back with two bowls of cheerios and Ray dug right in while playing with the remote looking for something to watch. 

“I’m thinking we go to the shooting range tonight after the interview,” Ryan said.

Ray nodded, “Shooting gallery date.” 

“It won’t be a date,” Ryan corrected, “I’ll be teaching you.”

Ray laughed, “Ryan have you ever seen a romantic movie in your life? You start off as my teacher but, we’ll probably bang after I get good.”

“You don’t get good in an evening,” Ryan was typing on his phone.

“Fine,” Ray pouted, “Then this is like a redo date, cause the café didn’t go so great,” Ray joked.

Ryan didn’t laugh and when Ray looked over his stomach flip flopped, Ryan looked angry.

“Ry,” Ray started. 

Ryan said nothing taking his bowl back to the kitchen. Ray quickly scooped up his own bowl following behind Ryan. 

“I didn’t mean it Ryan.” 

“We should have Jack look at the wound,” Ryan’s statement was clipped. 

Ray knew he messed up already, five minutes into the newly blossoming relationship and Ryan was already clamming up again. 

“I don’t blame you for what happened,” Ray said. 

Ryan took the bowl from Ray’s hands, “I know.”

Ray stood there waiting for Ryan to turn back around. When the man did so Ray planted kisses on his exposed skin. 

“I won’t mention it again, it’s the past,” Ray continued to kiss along Ryan’s scarred body. 

Ryan said nothing but, Ray could feel his arms around him holding tight.  
Ray was in the dark sports car that had picked him up from the curb on the first night. He was leaning forward playing with the radio while Ryan talked on the phone to Geoff.

“Yea, we’re on our way,” Ryan clicked the phone closed. 

“Going back to base?” Ray asked finding a radio station he could live with. 

“Nah, we’re gonna pick up Michael and head right over to the construction site.” Ryan stepped on the gas.

“What about Gavin?” Ray asked holding onto his seat. 

“Geoff must have already picked him up.” 

“Does that happen a lot?” Ray asked.

Ryan shrugged, “He used to live with Geoff, old habits die hard. Plus he’s not being used for the mission; don’t need to bring in extras.” 

When they reached the hotel Michael was standing outside typing on his phone looking up and waving when Ryan revved the engine. 

Michael climbed into the back seat, “Here you go, Geoff dropped these off when he got Gavin,” he handed Ryan a card. “ID for the heist you’re going as James and I’m Vincent, “Michael flashed his own card. 

“That’s the best Kerry could come up with,” Ryan scoffed, “At least he didn’t fucking use our last names too.” 

“You don’t like the names?” Ray asked. 

“They’re our fucking middle names,” Michael laughed. “Why is here anyway Ryan?” 

“Ray got us the interview, he knows a guy from the construction site,” Ryan explained. 

“I met him last night,” Ray added. 

“Lucky break,” Michael clapped his hand on Ray’s shoulder. 

Ray just shrugged. He seemed to be the king of dumb luck. 

The drive from the hotel to the construction site wasn’t long and Ryan mumbled about their covers being blown the whole time. Ray thought he could just ask Kerry for a new one but, Ryan said there wasn’t enough time now as he sped down the streets of Los Santos. Ray thought at the speed Ryan was going they could probably make time, but his seatbelt wouldn’t go any tighter, so he figured it was beast not to give him any ideas. 

Ryan parked a block away from the construction site mentioning something about not wanting his car to get dirty or damaged. Ray didn’t really see the issue. At the snap of Geoff’s fingers Ryan could probably have three identical cars. 

This was the second time Ray had seen Ryan in public without his mask or any face paint on. He looked tenser, maybe a little uncomfortable; the man liked his secrets. Ray figured he was afraid someone would make out his face but, in his short time with the guy strangers don’t live long enough to see it. 

When they got to the construction site it was loud with the sound of power tools going off and stacks of heavy material being unloaded. There were shouts of people trying to communicate with one another over the symphony of heavy drilling and wooden planks being stacked. Ray thought Ryan looked even more on alert his head turning to face every shouting person.   
Ray noticed the shack Joel had talked about last night; it was like a little house that picked the wrong neighbor. Ray started walking faster and waved dramatically when the door opened and Joel stepped out in a yellow hard hat. Joel waved back and motioned for Ray to come over.   
Ray hurried across the construction site mildly afraid something would fall on his head or he would fall in a ditch on the way over. 

“Hey Joel!” Ray chirped. 

Joel held the door of the miniature house open, “Hey,” he nodded, “Are these the guys?”

“Yup, sorry I only brought two.” 

“It’s perfect,” Joel nodded to Ryan and Michael as the entered, “You boys work construction before?” 

Ryan nodded. 

“Well I’ll see what you’re made of today,” Joel pulled out a clipboard. “Names?”

“James,” Ryan answered.

“Vincent,” Michael answered. 

Joel scribbled the names down on a sheet of paper, “Thank you, grab a hat and see what people have for you to do.” 

Michael grabbed a hardhat from a basket but Ryan hesitated for just a moment before following. They left without another word leaving Ray by himself  
.   
Ray stood there awkwardly with Joel, was he supposed to wait in the car now? 

“And what about you?” Joel asked, “Looking for a heavy lifting job?” 

“What do you think?” Ray rose a brow. 

Joel laughed, “You gonna stand in my office all day waiting for them then?”

Ray could feel his cheeks burning as he shrugged. 

“You’re joking right?” Joel’s smile faltered.


	9. Working Hard or Hardly Working

“I can’t,” Ray mumbled, “I can’t drive.” He probably should have mentioned that to Ryan beforehand. 

Joel was silent scratching his bed head under his hard hat. Ray felt like a kid dropped at a friend’s house and being stuck with their parents. 

“You know what I do have a job for you,” Joel put his hands on his hips.

“Really?” Ray tried not to sound too excited.

Joel nodded, “You good with computers?” 

“I can send an email,” Ray shrugged. 

“Perfect,” Joel started walking back towards the desk.

Ray followed behind him noticing a laptop on top of the desk covered in stacks of paper.

Joel described the job of secretary to Ray, he would spend the day sending emails and taking phone calls while fixing and managing schedules for the workers. He handled that pretty well, he had a little trouble at first talking to people on the phone; there weren’t too many calls though. Ray snooped through a few of the emails, but he found nothing linking anyone to gang activity, or at least it didn’t sound like it. Either the man in the bunker had lied to them or Joel wasn’t a part of it; Ray really hopped he wasn’t a part of it. 

Time went by fast and before he knew it Joel was walking in with Ryan and Michael on his heels. 

“Good work, you guys have yourselves a job,” Joel praised, “How did you do?” he asked Ray. 

Ray moved away from the computer and Joel started clicking around nodding as he scrolled down a page. 

“Looks good,” Joel smiled, “Think you’ll come back tomorrow?” 

Ray looked to Ryan and Michael than back to Joel nodding. 

“See you guys tomorrow than,” Joel waved. 

They left the construction site climbing into the car. 

“Why didn’t you leave?” Michael asked. 

“Where was I supposed to go?” Ray raised a brow.

“I wouldn’t have minded that much if you took me car,” Ryan said, “As long as you didn’t put a scratch on it.” 

“I would have crashed it automatically,” Ray stunned them into silence. “I can’t drive,” he admitted.

“This probably would have been good to tell me before hand,” Ryan said. 

Ray shrugged, “I’m so used to everybody already knowing.”

“So you got to work on the computer?” Michael asked.

Ray nodded. 

“We can use that to our advantage; you can talk to Kerry about it when we get back to base.” 

“I looked through some of Joel’s email, there was nothing about gangs,” Ray informed. 

“He wouldn’t just stick that shit in emails like an asshole,” Michael shouted. 

Ray flinched pretending to dig in his ear, “How did your gang operation infiltration go, did you find the porta potty drop spot?”

“We found it,” Ryan answered, “We couldn’t do anything with it; they didn’t let us anywhere near it. All of our assignments were down below close to the ground.”

“I even asked to go to the bathroom and they escorted me to one on the bottom of the construction site,” Michael leaned back crossing his arms, “And I couldn’t really say ‘I’d rather use that bathroom’ without sounding suspicious.” 

“It’s gonna take a while to earn their trust and get into the gang,” Ryan sighed. 

Ray frowned, “Why don’t you just complain around about being low on money?” 

“What?” Michael leaned forward against the back of Ray’s seat. 

“People do stupid shit for money all the time right? How many people at the office are working for criminals giving up the chance to move to any other career because they needed cash? If you make a big deal about it maybe they’ll help you by brining you into the gang,” Ray shrugged.

The car was quiet for a few seconds before Ryan nodded, “You know what, that might actually work.”

“You’re useful after all,” Michael smirked. 

Ray looked over and smiled. 

Getting back to the office Ray was starting to get used to the color bright green. His job was to find Kerry when they entered the underground safe house and talk computers. He was just hoping he could keep up with whatever jargon was gonna come his way in tech speak.  
Ray found Kerry surrounded by a fortress of bean bags with his computer on his lap the sound of keyboard typing filling the space. Coke cans and a few beer bottles were scattered around Kerry’s kingdom. Ray noticed the bags hanging under the guys eyes like he hadn’t slept at all the previous night; maybe the coke cans suggested he really hadn’t. Kerry blinked hard and Ray watched the poor kid rub his eyes before going back to furiously typing on his laptop. 

“Hey,” Ray said timidly. 

Kerry nodded in acknowledgement. 

“I’m supposed to come to you with computer stuff,” Ray tried to steer the conversation. 

Kerry groaned leaning his head against his beanbag. 

“Bad timing?” Ray stood awkwardly.

“I fucked up,” Kerry put his palms over his eyes, “Someone got into the system and I hadn’t even noticed.”

“The system?” Ray cocked his head to the side.

“The security system I installed,” Kerry sat up. “I was doing a check up on it and someone had used a back door and managed to lay low so I couldn’t pick it up till now.”

“Is it still there?”

“No I got rid of it but, who knows how long it’s been there taking whatever it wanted from our servers and files,” Kerry’s fingers were flying across his keyboard again. 

“Can you tell what it was looking at?” Ray asked now taking a seat on one of the bean bags. 

“I’m trying; it’s sneaky, really sneaky. It barley left any trace of even being there.”

“Did you tell Geoff?” Ray asked.

Kerry’s shoulders sank lower, “I had to warn him.” 

Ray was quiet after that watching screens flicker across Kerry’s screen and files open close while a black box stayed in the corner. Ray realized that black box was what Kerry was typing into. He caught some of the things going in, it looked like broken alphabet soup that made his head spin.

“Do you need something?” Kerry finally broke the silence but he never turned away from his screen. 

“I’m working on a computer at the construction site and Ryan thinks if you can hack into it we might get some information,” Ray explained.

“Are you any good with computers?” Kerry asked. 

“I mean I’ve played a couple PC games,” Ray smiled. 

Kerry laughed. 

Ray felt good watching Kerry laugh, he looked like he needed a good break, “How do you feel about coming over tonight?” Ray asked on the fly. 

“Sounds like a party,” Kerry laughed. “If I can bring my laptop.” 

Ray nodded, “Course.” 

Footsteps came down the hallway and Ray looked over noticing the smile on jacks orange bearded face. He was carrying the same tin box Ray had seen his first night at base.  
“Ryan asked me to take a look at you.” 

Ray rolled his eyes, “I’m fine.” 

“It’s not a bad idea, than we can be sure,” Jack said. 

Ray groaned throwing his head back following Jack back to the room Ray had woken up in just a few short days ago. It was still just as dingy and smelled worse than Ray had remembered. He hoped they didn’t use this medical facility a lot, and if they did he wondered how they didn’t all have hideous infections. 

Ray took a seat on the bed listening to the springs creaking threatening to break under his weight. He didn’t weigh that much, there was something wrong with the bed. Ray took his glasses off placing them beside him before taking off his shirt. The gauze was still wrapped around his torso making his skin look paler by comparison; so much for his Puerto Rican blood.   
Jack was careful not to rub against Ray’s skin while taking off the bandage even after Ray insisted he could do it himself. As the bandage fell away Ray could tell from the looks Jack was giving his abdomen something might not have been as perfect as Ray previously thought. Ray held back the urge to make the same doctor joke he had made the night he met Jack.   
Jack put on a pair of rubber gloves from the tin box and they played a game of stop poking me and ouch that hurt on Ray’s stomach. Ray jumped a few times when sensitive skin was prodded. He watched Jack bite the tip of a pencil and write on a clipboard. Ray was trying to not so obviously peek over the wooden board but, he failed. 

“Do you have any smokes?” Ray asked boredom setting in while Jack started rifling through his tin box. 

“As your doctor I should be saying no,” Jack tossed a cigarette package at Ray. 

The little box fell in Ray’s lap, “As a friend you’re the best.” 

A lighter soon followed and Ray lit the cigarette smoking as he watched Jack pull out a pad of paper and he began to scribble. 

“Here,” Jack ripped a note off the pad and handed it to Ray, “Take that to the pharmacy and take two tablets a day.” 

“What do I got doc?” Ray asked taking the paper looking at Jack’s neatly signed signature, not in his own name. 

“You’ve got a small infection but, nothing to be alarmed about,” Jack said while removing his rubber gloves tossing them into the garbage.

Ray took the paper thanking Jack letting him put a new bandage on before he was free to go.   
Walking down the long hallway back to the main crew meeting room Ray looked down at the paper wondering if the pharmacy would even take it. Whose ID did Jack have to steal, would the pharmacy recognize it? Ray thought back to the dirty sad excuse for an infirmary, hospitals had to be out of the question for them that was their only place to recover. He thought of Ryan or Michael, hell even Gavin laying in that squeaky bed with Jack leaning over them. The thought send a chill down Ray’s spine making him shutter releasing a shaky smoky breath; he couldn’t even imagine waiting to know news like that. 

Entering the main meeting room Ray noticed the table was empty; he went over pushing his cigarette out against a glass ashtray. Kerry was still typing away in the corner and that was the only noise in the quiet room. Ray leaned against the table wondering where the rest of the crew went when a hand grabbed his wrist. 

Ray screamed moving away from the table spinning the chair as he jumped revealing the prankster. 

“Holy shit Ryan!” he put his non captive hand over his chest, “You gave me a fucking heart attack!” 

He couldn’t tell Ryan’s reaction hidden beneath the black cheap Halloween store skull mask. The assumption though was that the man was pleased with himself and probably smirking.

“You guys feel like going out for dinner to celebrate a day one success?” Michael made his entrance with Gavin giggling at his heels. 

“I’m in!” Kerry raised a hand into the air from his corner. 

Ray looked at Ryan whose fingers had moved from his wrist to between his fingers. 

Ryan took off his mask, “No thanks, Ray and I have dinner plans.” He was still wearing the face paint.

“We do?” this was news to Ray. 

Ryan nodded, “We’ll catch back up with you at the apartment.” 

“Kerry’s coming over by the way to help me with the computer stuff,” Ray added quickly, “Don’t get him too fucked up!” 

Michael nodded, “Come on Kerry!” he shouted. 

 

Kerry jumped up from his bean bag fort closing his laptop and leaping across the room to join the group. 

Ray picked up one of the many boxes of cigarettes littering the meeting table and took a cigarette out sticking it in his mouth looking at Ryan who was still holding his hand. Ryan got the silent message and used his free had to fish a lighter out of his pocket. Ray bent down letting Ryan light his cigarette. Ray stood there in silence while Ryan sat still as a stone. It was comfortable just the two of them in the room as time ticked past. 

Another blow of smoke and Ray was already halfway through his cigarette when Ryan pulled with his intertwined hand gently guiding Ray to his lap. Ray sat right down with little hesitation stopping just for a moment to put out his cigarette. 

When Ray got settled down Ryan didn’t waste another second placing his lips to Ray’s making Ray melt, the smoky taste mingling with peppermint and Ryan’s woodsman cologne. The corners of Ray’s mouth lifted when he felt Ryan squeeze his hand.

“I have a present for you,” Ryan whispered into Ray’s ear. 

Ray was shaking with excitement, “Yea?”

Ryan lifted his hips up lifting Ray as well to reach into his back pocket. 

Ray was handed a smart phone much like his old one, “Sweet.” 

“It’s a burner with all the crews numbers programmed in it. Something goes wrong and it’s been traced I’ll destroy it and we get you a new one,” Ryan explained. 

Ray looked at the phone in his hands knowing what a big step this was, having a phone meant trust. Ryan trusted Ray wasn’t going to call a friend over and bolt in the middle of the night. At first that’s all Ray wanted, to get in good before making a grand escape. Ray put the phone in his back pocket, the escape could wait. He placed a kiss on Ryan’s skull painted face before Ryan pecked a quick kiss back on Ray’s lips. 

 

“So where are we going for dinner? Ray asked. 

“There’s a little diner pretty close to the shooting range,” Ryan said. 

“So is this a date now?” Ray asked. 

Ryan said nothing kissing the corner of Ray’s mouth before lightly pushing him; it was Ray’s cue to get off. Ray stood up and Ryan grabbed his skull mask putting it on before leaving the meeting room; Ray followed his mouth already watering.


	10. Date Night Under Fire

Ray was bouncing in the car testing his phone as Ryan drove, he called Gavin and they made weird noises back and forth, he called Michael who called him a fuck hung up than called Ray back to fashion an apology which also contained the word fuck. Hearing that made Ray smile, Michael was a soft guy hidden in a hard shell like a crab. The phone shenanigans continued with a call to Kerry whose mouth must have been full but he still managed to mumble a hello before Ray let him enjoy his meal. Next on his list was Jack who asked Ray if he got his prescription yet reminding him he even had one. Lastly on the list Geoff who didn’t answer.

Ray frowned. 

“What?” Ryan asked his gaze still on the road. 

“Geoff didn’t answer,” Ray pouted. 

Ryan shrugged, “He’s busy, it happens.”

“Also Jack reminded me I have to fill my prescription,” Ray dug into his pocket pulling out the fake doctor’s note. 

“What?” Now Ryan’s glacier eyes were on Ray. 

“I have like a little infection or something,” Ray didn’t get a great explanation from Jack. 

Ryan’s eyes darted to the clock, “We have time.” 

Ryan took a hard right causing Ray to slam into the window. Ray was confused at their sudden change in direction and speed of their travel until he saw a row of stores come into view. The car pulled into the parking lot and Ryan chose one of the spaces furthest away from the store.

“Could you have parked any further away, like maybe in the street?” Ray joked. 

Ray watched Ryan roll his eyes, “It’s a precaution, my car has been on the news before; don’t wanna be spotted here.” 

Ryan was climbing out and Ray got curious as they walked through the parking lot. He kept looking back at the car as they moved further and further away; it almost seemed to disappear in the dusk that was falling over Los Santos. It was just another car in the endless row of cars full of people who needed to buy groceries and other things; Ray tried to imagine that car in the news. Had he seen it rolling around the city before with waves of chaos behind it? No.

Walking into the store Ray watched Ryan try to make himself smaller almost hiding in his jacket; if that was even possible. Ryan’s head swiveled around checking every aisle as they walked through the nearly empty store. Ray understood, it was just like the construction site. Every moment Ryan didn’t spend around the crew or at home he was playing the game of chance. He was tempting fate to catch him if someone had seen him once and actually lived to see him again without his mask on. There had to be a few stragglers that got away or Ryan wouldn’t have looked so damn on edge. 

“Trying to look nonchalant makes you stand out more,” Ray said off handedly while walking towards the hanging pharmacy sign. 

Ray didn’t look back to gauge Ryan’s reaction, he just kept walking straight ahead eyes on his target as he rounded the corner. The pharmacy was in the very back of the store with one very bored looking man running the counter. Ray put on his best people smile pulling the prescription Jack had signed out of his pocket placing it on the counter. 

Bored working guy blinked like he had just reentered reality, he took the ticket looking over it with sleepy looking eyes. 

“It’ll be ready in ten minutes,” the man replied with an even lazier tone. 

He held his hand out and Ray was confused until Ryan stuck a crisp twenty in the man’s palm.

“I should get my own wallet,” Ray hissed. 

Ryan shook his head, “We can discuss that later.” 

After paying the man Ray decided he was going to spend his ten minutes walking down the aisles; specifically the cookie and other junk food isle. Ray picked up a pack of Oreos wondering if Ryan could swing buying him a pack. He looked over noticing Ryan hadn’t followed him. Ray kept his pack of cookies clutched at his chest; he was getting them, while he went on a Ryan hunt. Ray went back to the pharmacy counter noticing his scary on and off boyfriend nowhere to be found. 

Ray walked checking every isle stopping in his tracks when he saw Ryan talking to someone, actually shooting the breeze. Ryan’s posture had changed his shoulders down and back, he stood tall, his lips were curved back into a smile while he laughed. Ray watched crunching the edges of the Oreo package in his fingers while he helped a girl reaching for something off the top shelf grabbing it for her. Ray sighed; good guy Ryan helping out strangers; who knew. 

When Ryan handed the girl a box some big burly man came up from down the aisle and Ryan greeted him too and Ray rolled his eyes walking away. Ryan could be friends with everyone if he wasn’t around. Walking away from Ryan meant heading towards the pharmacy. Ray took refuge on a bench Oreos still on his lap; he couldn’t wait to get to the diner, they were still kinda on a date. 

Ray saw Ryan start to walk towards the pharmacy and he bounced onto his feet noticing the white bag being placed on the pharmacy counter. Instead of running into Ryan’s arms Ray grabbed the bag with what sounded like a pill bottle rattling around inside before turning to frown at Ryan. 

“Do I embarrass you?” Ray asked.

“What?” Ryan smirked. 

“I saw you talking to miss beautiful probably flirting with her,” Ray crossed his arms over dramatically. 

Ryan’s laugh was breathy, “I was helping her.” 

“Make me feel better, buy me these,” Ray held out the Oreos. 

Ryan rolled his eyes, but not much more complaining was done as he walked through the check out like any normal domesticated human.

Walking out carrying the grocery bag Ray laughed, “I was actually afraid you were going to hold up the store for a pack of cookies for a second!” 

“Come on shut up,” Ryan tried to hush Ray. 

“Right,” Ray nodded, “Keep a lid on the criminal activity,” he whispered. 

Ryan slapped the back of Ray’s head and Ray laughed; this date was already starting off better than the first one. 

The diner was cute and looked like something out of a detective movie and Ray fell in love with it right away. They played music that got Ray’s feet tapping and had all the heart stopping food he could want. Burgers and fries, mashed potatoes, hot dogs covered in chili and cheese, extra cheesy pizza; Ray’s mouth was watering as he read the menu. Ray ordered a sprite as soon as the waitress came over to ask; Ryan ordered a diet coke,

Ray plunged into the newest video game news; it was the safe conversation course. He talked about what he’d seen on TV and complained that he hadn’t really touched the Xbox Michael and Gavin had. His gamer score and reputation were at stake every day he wasn’t on to raise it; Ray was a perfectionist when it came to completing games. He talked about his YouTube channel and the few videos he had started putting on it, he silently wondered if he was still getting views, or if people were expecting new videos. He didn’t think new videos were a thing that would happen any time soon.

“I think I’m more addicted to Xbox than drugs,” Ray laughed. 

“I’ll get you one,” Ryan said before sipping his soda.

Ray shook his head, “You don’t have to, Geoff will pay me eventually right?” Ray was secretly worried Geoff would never pay him.

“It’ll be a just cause present,” Ryan smirked. 

Ray leaned into the table whispering across to Ryan, “Am I supposed to bang you after?” 

Ryan started choking on his drink and Ray burst into laughter leaning back against the seat. Ryan looked like he could play a big game and pin Ray against a wall, but Ray bet Ryan was a gentle lover. In fact Ray would put money on that; if he had any, and after he bought an Xbox.

The waitress came back around and Ray ordered a cheesy pizza slice while Ryan got philly cheese steak. It didn’t take long for the food to get to the table and as soon as the plate was put in front of Ray he went to town.

“Slow down you’re gonna choke,” Ryan smiled.

Ray took a big sip of sprite setting down his pizza slice. He looked out the window watching cars pull into the parking lot while others pulled out. Ray could tell Ryan was comfortable sitting in this place by the way he ate food without calculating every bite, chew, and swallow. He wanted to find more places where Ryan could be this happy like any other human being. 

“What did you do before this?” The words left Ray’s lips before he could fully process them. 

Ryan started coughing up a lung as Ray looked away from the window cheeks warm. 

“Sorry,” he stuttered out. 

“No,” Ryan coughed again, “It’s okay, just caught me off guard.” 

“Is there anything you can tell me?” Ray asked. 

Ryan shrugged running a hand through his dirty blonde bangs, “Maybe.”

“You don’t have to, I just,” Ray took a bite of pizza. “I want to know more about you; I mean you already know a lot about me.” 

Ray wasn’t wrong, most of the conversation they had over text had been about him going through life in the lower middle class section of Los Santos. It was about Ray worrying about attending classes late because he didn’t have a car and missed the city bus a lot; it was about Ray afraid to sleep because of the gun shots down the street, and Ryan promising nothing bad would happen just so he could close his eyes. It was always about Ray so he would never ask about Ryan. 

“I didn’t grow up in Los Santos,” Ryan spoke up surprising Ray. “I moved here when I was starting college. I was actually a well-mannered kid believe it or not.” Ryan smirked. “I was a gentleman, an actor, in no way a fighter; in short I was an easy target for two certain boys who were down on their luck. I was mugged in the back ally by a punk named Geoff Ramsey. Kicked in the head and threatened with a knife; I didn’t even resist I think Geoff just liked the feel of his first successful mugging.”

Ray was holding his glass tight the condensation cooling his palms. 

“I’m lucky Geoff had some wimp friend; Jack Pattillo made sure I didn’t die of a concussion that night. After that I kept running into them at the worst times, after they slashed the tires on a tour bus for laughs, and robbed a pet store of their pit bulls. Jack even handed me a pit bull as he walked out past me; I named it Edgar. Then after a week of walking around Los Santos and not seeing the bad luck brigade I opened the door to my apartment and the duo had broken in; Geoff was eating a sandwich and Jack was making me one. They said they needed more muscle on their side, and while I wasn’t as strong back then as I am now,” Ryan flexed his muscle for show making Ray laugh. “I was built enough for what they needed. The mugging had scared me into working out a bit and it helped when it came to lifting people in shows. We were poorly prepared though for what Geoff wanted; revenge. Geoff wanted to make some gang kids pay for roughing up Jack who insisted he was fine. Geoff never lets anyone mess with his crew, he still holds that value high above all others; everyone needs to be safe. We got our ass kicked that night, Geoff lost teeth, Jack got his wrist broken, and I got my first shiner. It was a rush though and I didn’t want to stop, so I kept in touch with Jack. I started working out more and got serious, I hung out with the two for real and we planned more robberies and such, Geoff’s dream was to take Los Santos by the horns. I still thought I could live my double life of a college student and criminal, so I started wearing masks to our little get togethers that involved busting knee caps. We trained ourselves to get good with weapons and for a while my favorite was just a baseball bat. We got so good, we started pulling heists and Los Santos was learning about the Fake Ah Crew; we couldn’t have been happier. After a few years of building an empire and picking up Michael, Gavin, and Kerry I kind of fell off the map; Los Santos wasn’t enough. I went off and did my thing making enemies, bank, and body counts. I realized how bad it was for me though; I regretted it and wanted out. While I was getting out is when I started talking to you.”

Ray could feel a chill run down his spine as Ryan’s eyes finally connected with his. 

“You told me about your life in Los Santos and I wanted to come back even more. I think other people in the old crew might have seen it too, that’s why you were handcuffed in the hospital; they were going to take you away from me to make sure I stayed. They didn’t want you leaving or someone telling you, you were free to go. The cuffs were supposed to make the nurses and doctors think you were under arrest.”

“Thanks for springing me,” Ray smiled. 

Ryan smiled back. 

Ray let all the information sink in, Ryan really had opened up to him and he had no words to give back. Ray spun the melting ice in his glass with his straw listening to the little pieces clink around hitting the sides. The ending of the meal was pretty silent except for Ray asking Ryan what kind of plays he did, which made Ryan’s face red again. Ray found his favorite thing was to see big scary Ryan blush like a glimpse of himself before Los Santos.

They left the diner holding hands, Ray bumping into Ryan giggling to himself as they walked across the parking lot. 

On the way to the shooting range Ray cranked up the stereo and danced in his seat signing along. He tried to coax a few notes out of Ryan who shook his head. 

“You can’t tell me you don’t know this song,” Ray laughed pausing his awkward in seat dance. 

Ryan shook his head eyes flicking from the road to Ray and back, “No idea.” 

“Oh man, I’m gonna make you a mix tape, and it’s gonna be gay as hell,” Ray smiled leaning back in his seat. 

“I look forward to it.”   
Ray beamed already making a list of all the sappy songs he could fit on one CD. Would Geoff protect him if the music company came knocking on their door for illegal downloads? The car stopped before Ray could finish writing all the songs down in the notes on his phone. He followed Ryan out of the car stopping when he heard the trunk pop open. 

“That doesn’t look suspicious,” Ray commented while Ryan pulled out hard black cases.

“It’s a gun range,” Ryan held up the cases, “These are guns. It’s fine I’m not planning on killing anyone.” 

“Color me surprised and impressed,” Ray nodded.

“I like this place, I wouldn’t risk getting kicked out by murdering some annoying punk who thinks he’s all that.” 

“Has that happened before?” Ray walked towards the front door. 

“Yea, but I showed him popping three in the targets heart.” 

“He probably pissed himself,” Ray laughed.

Ryan shrugged, “He might have left afterwards.” 

Ray caught the small smile and glint in Ryan’s eyes. 

Inside the gun store Ray felt out of place immediately, country was playing over the speakers and the weapons surrounding him made him feel uneasy, there was camouflage everywhere. He felt like he wasn’t properly dressed to be hanging out there, he had a lack of boots on. Then again, he wasn’t here to learn the tricks of the hunting trade; when it came down to it his game would be people and they notice camouflage in a busy city. 

“It kind of looks like Ammu Nation,” Ray said following Ryan to the counter.   
Ryan snorted. 

Ray hung back while Ryan put his hard-black cases on the display case in front of the man working. They whispered about something in a language Ray was pretty sure wasn’t English; or maybe they were really silent whisperers. Ryan forked over some more money and Ray had to wonder what the pay was like and really wanted to know how to earn his cut of the action.   
The conversation stopped with head nods and Ryan signaling Ray with a wave to follow him back to a separate area of the building. Ryan handed him a pair of ear muffs and some safety glasses. Ray frowned putting them over his own glasses; it felt weird. Ray also noticed the papers rolled up in Ryan’s hand, about poster sized.

The back room smelled musty and was cooler than the main store had been; Ray zipped his purple hoodie up a bit. It had gray concrete walls and booths with glass sides that looked straight into the brightly lit space in front of it. Ryan was reaching over the front glass pane to put one of the poster sized papers up on two metal clips. The pictures on the papers were the classic target people Ray had seen in kid’s bedrooms in movies, or what cops practiced with; again in movies. Ryan pressed a button and the target disappeared down the long expanse of the room on a metal track making a whizzing noise. 

“Ready?” Ryan asked putting on his own safety glasses. 

Ray’s palms were sweaty, “Maybe.” 

Ryan pulled a familiar gun out of the first smaller case; Ray smiled at the pink pistol. Ryan went over proper techniques of holding the gun and important rules about safety. He specifically told Ray not to hold it in some bad gangster angled way and keep it steady. All the information was starting to leak out of Ray’s ears and he could feel himself go numb to it all no matter how hard he tried to keep up. 

Ryan pointed the pink pistol at the target and shots rang out waking Ray back up.   
“Alright your turn,” Ryan held the gun out safety on. 

Ray gingerly took the gun holding it up with both hands around the butt of the gun. He heard Ryan walk behind him his shoes scuffing on the floor.

“Square out your shoulders,” Ryan pulled back on Ray’s boney shoulders. “Your legs are too close together,” he nudged Rays’ legs further apart with his foot. “Relax,” Ryan started rubbing Ray’s shoulders. 

Ray took a deep breath before clicking the safety off and letting his index finger curl around the trigger. He applied pressure and the gun went off, he did it two more times mimicking Ryan’s run.


	11. Back at the House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some implied NSFW in the middle of this chapter!!

Ryan pressed the button pulling the target back in and Ray waiting anxiously watching it. Right away he could tell which bullets were his and which were Ryan’s. Ryan’s had landed grouped together, methodical, right over where the targets heart would have been if it was a real person. Ray found his two bullets going through the would be skull and one lodged in the arm. 

Ryan hummed nodding, “I’m impressed, the lads weren’t lying. You’re not bad with a pistol; let’s see what else we can hook you up with.”

Ray spent the evening learning about different guns from Ryan who was worried Ray wasn’t really listening at certain points. Ray promised he was, but Ryan just sighed. Ray got to shoot other semi-automatic weapons; he found out very quickly he was not friends with shot guns the kick back almost taking off his arm. 

“I’ve got one more,” Ryan was going into the biggest case he had brought. 

Ray was intimidated by the sniper rifle Ryan had pulled out of the case, an unflattering shade of orange. It was large and looked heavy, Ray didn’t know if he was built enough for that kind of gun. 

“It’s Geoffs’,” Ryan explained, “He doesn’t use it much; our group doesn’t really have a sniper. I have a feeling though this is perfect for you.” 

Ryan handed the sniper rifle over to Ray and he realized he could manage it, it didn’t weigh that much. He opened the stand legs and Ryan got him a table to stand it on. Ryan showed him how to take it apart and put it together very slowly and deliberately. Ray soaked up all the information unlike the earlier guns. 

Ray set himself up loading a bullet into the chamber just like Ryan had showed him; Ryan stood right behind him watching. 

“Remember to breathe,” Ryan reminded. 

Ray took two deep breaths releasing both as he looked through the scope. He heard Ryan hit the button and the target started to move back. A soon as Ray caught a glimpse of the target he fired, once, twice, three times, four times; confidence in each shot. Ray stepped away from the gun while Ryan called the target back into the station for evaluation with a low whistle. 

“I think we might have a sniper here, if you work hard at it,” Ryan praised. “You won’t have the calm luxury to set up a shot on a real mission. We’ll need you to be ready at the drop of a hat to cover us if things go wrong.” 

Ray nodded in understanding, he could get used to firing a gun; as long as it was at targets.

Getting home that night Ray and Ryan walked in on Michael and Gavin asleep on the couch while a movie played, and Kerry holding out a shiny pistol on the recliner. 

“Don’t shoot,” Ray put his hands up. 

“Oh, hey,” Kerry tucked the gun onto the side table switching it for a handful of popcorn from a plastic bowl. “How was the dinner date?” 

Ray smiled, “I’m an A plus sniper,” he winked. 

“Not the part I asked about, but good to know,” Kerry nodded. 

“The food was good too,” Ray added, “Ten out of ten would eat there again.” 

Ryan said nothing more heading into the bedroom closing the door behind him; Ray could feel a knot forming in his stomach. 

“Looks like you tired Ryan out,” Kerry laughed. 

Ray just smirked, “Not yet.” 

Ray walked over to Kerry sitting on the arm of the recliner. Kerry handed Ray a plastic disk case, when Ray popped it open it was a plain disk. 

“Awe man I thought I was getting some sweet tunes,” Ray frowned.

“I gave you something better,” Kerry said, “A way out of learning how to hack a computer in a night.”

“That sounds nice.” 

“When you go to the construction site tomorrow just pop that disk into the computer, click a few windows, and let me in through a back door. I’ll walk you through everything over the phone.”

“Can do,” Ray nodded closing the CD case back up. “So, what happened with the whole virus thing?” 

Kerry ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair, “Geoff was beyond pissed, I think he’s still back at the office interrogating everyone who works there. The look in his eyes was beyond disappointment; I failed them. I still don’t know what files were compromised,” Kerry released a short puff of air. “The only good thing that came out of it is I used the virus to make that CD so you can go undetected.” 

“Thanks dude,” Ray patted Kerry’s back. “You know it’s getting late, maybe you should take a break.” Ray was noticing the bags lying heavily under Kerry’s eyes. 

Kerry just shrugged, “I’ve never been good at sleeping.”

“X-Box then?” Ray asked. 

Kerry nodded a small smile on his face. 

Ray turned on the X-Box while Kerry switched the TV’s output to see the game footage. Ray picked call of duty because sometimes mindless shooters were the best way to unwind. They turned down the volume as to not disturb the sleeping beauties on the couch. As the game started Ray stifled a laugh listening to Michael snore. 

“I gotta take a picture,” Ray quickly pulled out his phone snapping a picture of the sleeping lads with Kerry making a face. 

After the selfies the two sat on the floor and really started playing, Ray kicking ass all the way. Ray had spent months playing and perfecting call of Duty, he was in his element. He had no problem taking out NPC’s or even Kerry in game mode. There was a lot of whispered swears and nudging back and forth, the sound of clicking controllers in their ears. Ray hadn’t noticed they had been playing for an hour until he felt a chin rest against his shoulder. 

At first Ray thought they had woken Gavin or Michael, the visitor had moved across the floor making no sound. Ray could smell smoke and when he turned his head he was surprised to see Ryan’s blue eyes lazily watching the screen.

“You need to take your medicine,” Ryan’s voice was a whisper. 

Kerry gave a curious glance, but Ray didn’t miss a beat handing his black controller off to Ryan and heading towards the corner kitchen. Ray opened the plastic bag on the counter with his medicine in it; he smiled setting the package of Oreo cookies to the side. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water before opening the bottle taking out a small pill, putting it in his mouth, and swallowing it with one swig. He grabbed an Oreo for himself, Kerry and Ryan. 

Ray walked back to the living room settling down on the floor next to Ryan handing a cookie over to Kerry who ate it without licking out the icing and one to Ryan who just put it on the ground holding the controller. Ray twisted the top off his Oreo eating the center crème out before the two cookie halves. 

Minutes past before Ray yawned and Kerry stretched. 

“We have an early day tomorrow,” Ryan put down his controller, “Time for bed; both of you.” 

Kerry gave little protest grabbing a blanket and curling up on the recliner. Ryan turned off the TV and Ray put his hands out in front of him when he stood up unable to see the dark room. Ray felt his fingers lace into another set; they gently curled around his hand and tugged guiding him across the dark living room. The door shut softly and Ray knew he had made it into the bedroom without any spills on the hardwood thanks to his companion.

Ray let Ryan’s fingers slip through his grasp as he carefully found the bed and flopped against the mattress. He bounced slightly off the springs and he could feel his cheeks flare as he heard footsteps and felt the heat of Ryan’s body hover over him. 

Ryan tasted like cigarettes when his lips connected with Ray’s, soft and gentle. Ray snaked his arms around Ryan’s neck threading his fingers through Ryan’s thick hair. Ryan had taken his hair out of the ponytail, Ray tussled the older man’s mane. Ray could feel Ryan’s calloused thumbs rub circles into the dip of Ray’s hips before his rough fingers were rubbing the skin under Ray’s shirt. Ray’s body was lighting up as his shirt rode under his arm pits and Ryan’s finger pads were pressing into the spaces between his ribs. Ray pressed his lips harder against Ryan’s, he pulled Ryan’s hair a little tighter, and his hips squirmed a little more obviously. 

Ryan broke the kiss and Ray sat up an inch so his T-shirt could be removed and dropped to the floor forgotten. The cool air on Ray’s exposed skin was quickly warmed again by Ryan’s natural body heat. Ryan’s lips didn’t stay away for long trailing kissed along Ray’s abdomen up to his chest; he could feel Ryan’s lips lock against him tighter at the base of his neck. Ray bet dollars to doughnuts Ryan was leaving him with purple spots and Ray closed his eyes lulling his head back into the mattress as Ryan worked up his neck nipping it every few inches. Ryan started to methodically grind his hips into Ray in slow circles. Ray bit his lip his own hips bucking as Ryan added more pressure against Ray as he turned.   
Rays heart stopped when he felt the button on his jeans pop. Ryan was slowly moving Ray’s jeans down his leg rubbing his hands gently over Ray’s skin. When Ryan finally got Ray’s jeans down to the floor after what seemed like forever and Ray’s breath hitched as Ryan hooked a finger in Ray’s boxers and paused. 

“Are you okay with this?” Ryan’s question was a breathy whisper against Ray’s skin. 

Ray nodded, "Completely, yes," he could feel his boxers fall without another moments hesitation. 

 

Ray was melting into Ryan new sensations making his body explode in ways he never knew possible. He felt like he was floating, riding a high that no drug could give him. Ray was seeing stars as he curled his fingers over the sweaty skin on Ryan’s back as the bed started to rock back and forth. The smaller man was panting his body on fire in all the right ways, his heart smacking his ribs launching into his throat as he lost himself. 

Ray slept in Ryan’s arms properly that night the man holding him tight under the covers. Ray realized he was the perfect size to nuzzle into Ryan’s neck pecking him with kisses, his plan was to go until Ryan’s eyes fluttered closed, but they stayed half lidded never fully shutting. Ray was sure he would fall asleep first. He had never felt more loved, he’d never felt happier, Ray had never felt so whole. This was his life now; fear and frustration were now compassion and friendship. Ray’s one wish was for life to stay this way; perfect. Friends out on the couch, a warm space to play videogames, and someone he loved breathing rhythmically next to him. 

It felt like it had only been an hour or two before Ray was being nudged into consciousness. He groaned truing over pulling the covers higher around his ears before the nudging became shoves.

“I told you to go to bed earlier,” Ryan’s voice drifted around the room.

Ray used his hands to pick himself up another groan escaping his throat as he blinked adjusting to the low lighted environment. 

The bathroom light was flooding into the rest of the bedroom, Ray could see Ryan already towel drying his hair and grabbing an elastic to hold it back. Ray let his face fall into his pillow once more before forcing himself up and out of bed.

It was a slow moving morning and Ray almost fell asleep in the shower, eating breakfast, and waiting in the car for Ryan with Michael who was making sure Geoff was coming to pick up Gavin and Kerry. Ray felt like he was getting ready to go back to school; he laid his head against the back window his eyelids fluttering up and down. The door slammed closed and Ray was jolted awake pulling away from the window; had he drooled on it? He started wiping the window of any sleepy evidence with his sweatshirt sleeve. Ray patted his pocket for the last time to triple check that he had his phone and the spy CD Kerry had given him last night; check, check. 

For the duration of the morning Ray nodded his greeting to Joel who asked if he wanted some coffee. Ray shook his head; he wasn’t much of a coffee drinker, though for a second he considered it. He sat at Joel’s laptop stretching his arms up watching people go in and out all morning grabbing coffee, doughnuts, or their hard hat. It was easy to look busy; no one paid much attention to what he was really doing; finding songs for Ryan’s CD mix. It was totally happening. He took a few phone calls and wrote down notes to give to Joel later that day.   
At about nine when everyone had settled in, and Joel had stopped coming in to check on Ray is when he called Kerry. 

The phone rang twice, “Hello,” Kerry had picked up.

“I’m inserting the goods,” Ray said in his most serious voice. 

“I hope someone was in there with you to hear that,” Kerry snorted.

Ray smirked, “All clear.” 

“Alright captain,” Kerry had a smile in his voice, “Pop the disk in and I’ll explain the rest.” 

The whole process was easy on Ray’s end, he inserted the disk and clicked a few pop ups he would have never clicked in real life. He gave Kerry style points for that, if Ray was caught it would really look like he opened an infected pop up. After letting Kerry into the laptop through some homemade trap doors Ray sat back and watched fascinated as the mouse moved itself around the desk top. It took Kerry an hour to go through Joel’s emails, documents, search history, and downloads that could have contained information. Every minute Kerry was getting more and more frustrated coming back from searches with nothing. Ray was secretly relieved, Joel was a good guy. He was also lucky no one came in for a visit during the invasion of privacy.

“Fuck, there’s nothing!” Kerry shouted into the speaker. 

Ray pulled the phone away from his ear, “Calm down dude, maybe it’s the wrong computer.”


	12. Gun Fights in a Fragile Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while, I have a bunch of updates racked up! And some new ideas rattling around!

Kerry gave a heavy sigh, “That would be smarter than letting the new guy have free access to the groups confidential records.” 

Ray leaned back in his chair listening to the phone click without a good bye. He understood, Kerry had every right to be upset; he had a lot to make up to Geoff after letting the virus through the security measures. He was probably hoping this would be a big break through. 

Ray popped the disk out of the laptop taking it from the tray and closing it back up into its plastic case. He scrolled through E-mails he had missed while Kerry was snooping before closing out the window entirely. He sat there staring down the screen begging for its secrets, though he doubted it had any. Instead he read through the icons on the desk top when a familiar name caught his eye. The icon was a normal manila folder like all the rest on the desktop but; it stood alone outside of the bunch. It was labeled blue prints, that’s what Joel had dropped off at the apartment the night Ray met him. Ray was curious as to what his new home could look like in the future; he clicked on the icon. 

A grainy picture of a familiar face jumped onto the screen; Ray squinted unsure at first what he was seeing. There were several pictures that Ray scrolled through all looking like they were taken with a camera old as dirt; some with the single figure and others with a whole group of faces Ray could pick out in a line up. Why were there pictures of Ryan and the rest of the Fake AH Crew on Joel’s computer? Ray’s heart began to race as he continued to scroll and click on links. All of the individual head shots were Ryan; they were taken from all over the place. Some were Ryan waiting in a car, smoking on a sidewalk, drinking in a bar, and there were violent ones. Ryan guns blazing shooting people down, blood splattering his jacket, and explosions leaving Ryan in a fiery wreck as just a shadow. Ray was shaking as he read the labels under the pictures; Haywood, Vagabond, target. Ray felt sick to his stomach; he was in one of the pictures labeled found. 

The door knob turned and Ray quickly closed the file leaning back in the chair trying to look bored and not like he found what he didn’t want to know. 

“Hey,” Joel strolled in walking to the cooler in the corner of the room. He picked up a bottle of water.

Ray gave a wave afraid his voice would betray him. Joel wasn’t who Ray thought he was, or maybe it wasn’t Joel’s computer. Ray hopped whatever he had seen was just planted. 

“You don’t look so hot,” Joel frowned, “Did I miss a ghost in here or something?” 

Ray shook his head, “I shouldn’t have had left over Chinese food for breakfast,” he lied.

Joel’s laugh was hardy; he bought the story. 

“You can take the rest of the day off if you’re not feeling up to it,” Joel said.

Ray shook his head, “Can’t drive remember.”

“Right,” Joel drug out the word, “I could take you home.” 

“I couldn’t ask you to,”

“You didn’t, I offered,” Joel smiled.

Ray shrugged. 

“Come one,” Joel waved his hand, “I’ll just expect you to work extra hard next time.” 

Ray nodded sending a quick text to Ryan about his sudden stomach ache so he wouldn’t worry later. Ray knew he had to call Kerry and see if he could check that file specifically. He also needed time to properly process what he had just seen. 

Getting up out of the chair Ray worried Joel could tell his legs were wobbling. Joel must have noticed because he helped Ray into the car. Joel had the same sporty taste Ryan had; criminals and their fast toys. 

The whole car ride was talk radio and Joel commenting to the people that couldn’t hear him. Ray picked up on the words stocks, trade, and gold; the rest was a blur. 

“You need any help inside?” Joel asked. 

Ray had his hand on the cars door handle, “I think I’ll be okay.”

Joel nodded. 

Ray walked to the front of the building turning around to give Joel one last wave before the man with the permanent bed head sped off into the hot afternoon traffic. 

Walking into the apartment Ray checked his phone, nothing from Ryan. He called Kerry who picked up on the second ring. 

“Can you swing by the apartment,” Ray’s voice was shaking, “I found something, but I don’t want to talk about it over the phone.” He was feeling paranoid. Ray must have been rubbing off on him finally. 

“I’ll be there in a bit,” Kerry answered before hanging up.

Ray let out a heavy sigh pacing; he had to calm his nerves. There could be a million reasons for what he saw on Joel’s- allegedly Joel’s- computer. The TV was looking like a good solution for his sudden spike in jitters. He needed to get those grainy photographs out of his head; Ryan covered in blood and surrounded by fire. Maybe it actually wasn’t Ryan and someone who just happened to look a lot like him.

During Ray’s pondering on the possibility there was a knock on the door. Ray froze, it couldn’t have been Kerry, the base wasn’t that close to the apartment. Though Kerry could have been anywhere, did he have a key to let himself in if Ray didn’t answer? 

Ray’s phone vibrated the caller ID Kerry, “Hey.” 

“Stuck in the traffic from hell,” Kerry sighed, “Might be a while before I get to the apartment, sorry,” he apologized. 

“Holy fuck,” Ray hissed.

“I said I was sorry,” Kerry pouted. 

“Someone’s at the door,” Ray whispered into the phone. 

It was quiet on the other end for a few seconds. 

“Do you know who it is?” 

“I thought it was you,” Ray slowly turned to look at the door. 

“Well it’s not, don’t open it,” Kerry said. 

“I didn’t plan on it,” Ray’s voice was rising, they were knocking again. 

Ray didn’t have to answer the door, it opened itself. The person on the other side either had a super powerful knock or was getting too impatient. The door burst open breaking the locks. Canisters were tossed in rolling towards Ray’s feet smoke already pouring out of them.  
Bolting Ray tumbled into the bedroom crawling on his hands and knees watching smoke fill the living room from the doorway. He quickly lifted the sheets up off the floor reaching under the bed frame to drag out a black gun case. Opening up the lock Ray retrieved his pink pistol. He hid against the wall squeezing his eyes shut and holding his gun tighter; he heard voices shouting to one another. He heard names, they were looking for Ryan. With blood pulsing through his ears Ray pulled out his phone dialing Ryan and listened to the tone turning into a ring, his hands were shaking. 

It had gone right to voicemail, “Fuck,” Ray whispered hanging up automatically redialing. He could hear the intruders breaking things in the living room and kitchen, someone gave out orders to check down the hall; the bedroom would be next. He wouldn't be safe for long.

“Ray, are you feeling any better? There’s soup in the cupboard,” Ryan was talking, “I’m coming home to check on you so if you want to wait till I get in I can make it.” 

Ray had never felt so much relief wash over him as he listened to Ryan drone on, “Ryan,” his voice a scared whisper, “Holy shit Ryan, there are people here in the apartment.” 

Ryan’s light chatter stopped and Ray could hear the gears change as the engine reved in the background, “I’m coming,” his voice all business. “How many are there? Where are you?”

“I’m in the bedroom,” Ray started to peer around the corner past the door frame watching silhouettes through the smoke, “There’s like.” 

While counting Ray’s eyes connected with one of the intruders. In the time it took to blink a gun was raised and a trigger pulled. 

“Fuck, fuck!” Ray screamed into the phone his free hand instinctually putting his hand right above his hip, his eyes widening at the blood on his fingers, “Ryan!” Ray knew he was being too loud.

“I’m coming,” Ryan was growling, “What happened?”

Ray didn’t get the chance to answer he dropped the phone when he heard the footsteps coming his way. 

Two hands, Ray held his gun steady. Deep breaths. He tried to ignore the pain radiating from his lower body.

A body came through the door, Ray didn’t even wince his finger curled around the trigger pulling it back. 

Ray’s eyes widened as the shot rang out and the body slumped. He watched blood spread out onto the floor boards; the shot was a kill shot. There was more shouting and a can of smoke tossed into the bedroom. Ray had already dropped his gun, his hands were no longer steady, and it clattered to the floor. 

Lifted from the ground, back pressed against the wall; rough fist grabbing onto the fabric of his hoodie. Ray was repeatedly slammed against the apartment wall with a man yelling at him and ordering whoever else he came in with him to check the guy on the ground. Ray’s body felt like it was on fire as he was repeatedly shoved with full force.

Ray tried to muster all his courage, “Put me down!” 

The response was a gun pressed into his chest, “Shut the fuck up kid! Where’s Ryan?” 

Ray shook his head, “I have no idea who you’re talking about.” 

The man’s lips curved into a smile that made Ray’s stomach turn even more than it already was, “Guess we’ll have to take you and jog your memory.” The man kept staring at Ray, “This time I’ll gut you like a fish to make sure you’re dead.”

“You’re the guy who shot me the day I met him,” Ray was taking a stab in the dark. 

The man’s laugh was deep and dark, it vibrated like Ryan’s, but instead of joy Ray was filled with fear. 

“Someone, call Sorola,” the man barked his order. “We’ve got an ace up our sleeve.” 

Ray thrashed trying to break from the man’s grip, “Let go!” 

“No can do kid.”

Ray was slammed into the wall again and he felt all eh wind finally leave his body.

“We need to teach Ryan he can’t just walk away from us, and you’re the lesson plan.” 

Gun fire was starting again; everything was loud and there was shouting like Ray had heard in video games. Ray could hear even more things being broken. 

Ray was moved from being pinned against the wall to being forced upright and wobbly in front of the intruder. His eyes registered Ryan in the door way; Ray was the shield. 

“Missed you Haywood,” the man said casually.

Ray could feel the gun moved from his back now pressing into the side of his head. 

“All you have to do is come back,” the man spoke in an even tone. “We walk out like this never happened, the kid even gets to live.” 

Ray couldn’t bring his eyes up to look at Ryan, he was afraid of what he might see. 

“Ryan,” Ray hated the sound of his voice like a whimper. He didn’t want Ryan to go back with whoever the fuck these guys were; to leave the crew because he was afraid to take another shot. 

The last bullet was fired, a singular shot that rang out louder than all the others. The situation was over, the bomb in the room diffused. Ray fell forward on his hands and knees.

Next came the aftermath. 

It was sticky on Ray’s palms and he could feel it soaking through his jeans, the blood of strangers lying dead on the floor of his home. The sick feeling in Ray’s stomach rose faster than he could register hitting him as if the ceiling had fallen. Ray couldn’t stop the vomit. 

Warm arms wrapped around Ray, a tissue wiped the corners of his mouth. Ray was shaking his body felt screwed up in multiple ways. Ryan was lifting him up taking him out of the living room and covering his eyes as he did so. Ray was thankful for the gesture even if he couldn't vocalize his appreciation. Next thing he knew he was gently placed on the guest bed, no one had died in the guest room. 

A new wave had taken over Ray and he put a hand above his hip bone, “Fuck,” he hissed. “Fuck, fuck.” His hand came away slick and dark red, he couldn’t escape the stuff. 

Ryan must have noticed it too gently starting to pull Ray’s sweatshirt up.

“Dude, it’s fine,” Ray tried to force a smile even though while Ryan started to remove Ray’s shirt, he felt like he was being ripped apart.

Without another word Ryan held Ray’s hand back and tugged the shirt all the way off. 

Ray’s lower abdomen was covered in blood while a deep red gash continued to bleed.

“Holy shit,” Ray gulped. “I didn’t notice it was that bad, I almost forgot about it.”


	13. Growing Pains

“The adrenaline in your system was working over time,” Ryan said his face screwed into a scowl.

Ray tried to stand to get a better look and suddenly felt his legs buckle underneath him. Ryan helped him lay down before leaving the room. Ray kept replaying the scene again and again in his head while he heard Ryan in the kitchen running water. He mostly just remembered smoke pouring in around the couch, and the rapid beating of his heart. Could he have done something different to avoid being shot? What if he hadn't gone home? He should have asked Ryan to take him home in the first place, but he didn't want Joel to be suspicious. There was a subtlety to being criminal he just hadn't figured out yet. Ray tried to keep his brain turning, anything to stop thinking about eh pain in his lower abdomen.

“Ryan,” Ray breathed as Ryan reentered the room, “If this does me in, I need you to know.” 

“You’ll be fine,” Ryan snapped quickly pressing a damp cloth on Ray’s wound, “I’m going to take you to Jack, you’re gonna be fine.” 

Ray yelped trying to wiggle away from Ryan, but the man held him steady cleaning the wound. 

“I killed someone!” Ray blurted afraid of his own voice. “I pulled the fucking trigger, someone is dead because of me.” his lips trembled and he broke down. 

“You’re alive,” Ryan whispered. “That’s all that matters, you’re still here. I’m proud of you for being the faster draw.” 

Ryan kissed Ray’s trigger fingers before kissing Ray on the tip of his nose. Ray needed to collect himself. Ray begin to violently shake as the full force of what he had done- what had happened in general- hit him, he ended a life, someone tried to end his life. He could still feel the cold steel of the gun against his head. He cold feel the bruises blooming on his back. This would happen again and again, unless he died right there, his life would always be under threat.

Ray was holding a new rag to his side laying down in the back seat of some car Ryan stole right off the curb no questions asked. Ryan was ignoring all traffic laws to get him to Jack. The sun was starting to lay low in the sky and Ray watched the clouds pass by through the roof. It was beautiful, colors started to paint the sky and Ray felt at peace. Until Ryan hit a pothole in the road, then the pain came back in a hot flash, but eh tried not to make a sound for Ryan's sake. he couldn't imagine how the mercenary felt in that moment rushing like the wind. All the lights were green to Ryan, and the speed limit was a suggestion, Ray knew why Ryan didn't take his car. If someone had noticed it they might have had to avoid cops too, but he also knew Ryan's car would have been faster somehow. 

“Where do we go now?” Ray asked looking up at the darkening sky, “They know where we live," he could feel his grip on the cloth loosen.

“I have a backup home, a safe house,” Ryan answered. 

Ray sighed, his head was swimming it almost felt like he was floating,“Whose Sorola?” Ray asked the back of his eyelids trying to stay awake.

“What?” Ryan 

“The name was tossed around.” 

“He’s a dead man,” Ryan growled. 

When the car came to a stop the breaks squeak. Ray tried to reach for the for handle to get out, instead his arm limply laid across the seats. Like magic the door swung open and Ray looked up to see Ryan above him his skin pale. Ryan started to quickly pull Ray out of the car ignoring his painful protests, Ray tried not to cry as he was dragged by his arms until Ryan could hold him. Ray felt Ryan lift him up and Ray felt bad for getting blood on Ryan's clothes. He laid his head against Ryan’s shoulder as he watched the robot faces on the people walking past turn to glances of worry. Ryan turned the corner and Ray recognized the boiler room, before he knew it Ryan was hurrying down to the meeting room. Ray noticed the pace of his breathing finally pick up, the cool calm collection was melting away.

“Jack, now!” Ryan’s voice was an order.

There was rushing around and Ray was the center of it. Everyone who was sat at the table was now standing, Jack was jogging over.

“Get him to the med room,” Jack's voice was sterner then Rya had ever heard.

Ryan nodded and Ray was once more whisked away down familiar hallways.   
Ray noticed that even standing in the med room Ryan wasn’t putting him down on the bed, Ryan just stood there Ray firmly locked in his arms. Ray could feel himself falling asleep in Ryan's arms. 

Jack had come in and pointed to the bed saying, “down.” Ray felt cold without his hoodie or Ryan’s arms firmly around him. He noticed Jacks tin box, Jack was already digging around inside of it coming out with handfuls of gauze, a needle, thread, and a pair of tweezers. Ray groaned looking at the tools laid out. 

“Excuse me?” Ray spoke up. 

Ray could feel Ryan’s hand on his shoulder squeezing lightly as Jack walked over. 

Jack instructed Ryan to help him flip Ray on his side, and Ryan was quick to move. Ray groaned loudly as he was rolled onto his side that wasn't open and exposed. 

“The bullet didn’t go all the way through,” Jack shook his head. “We gotta pull it out.” 

Ray felt sicker. 

“You might want this,” Jack went back into his medical box coming out with a small flask. 

“I don’t drink.” Ray shook his head. 

Jack shook the flask a little holding it out, “Trust me here.” 

“You are the doctor,” Ray‘s face scrunched before he downed a mouthful of the foul tasting liquor. 

Ray screamed bloody murder when Jack started digging in with the tweezers. Ray was a quiet person, but the pain in his lower abdomen was reducing him to tears as Jack was finding out the bullet was deeper than he thought. Ryan was holding Ray down by the shoulders like human restraints; he had tried several times to get away from Jack making the process harder. Jack ordered Ryan to pour rubbing alcohol over Ray’s wound; Ray was shaking his head begging Ryan not to. When the clear liquid touched his skin it felt like a million bees and Ray’s shouts and tears had been refueled. Ryan had to hold Ray down tighter the alcohol being used every few seconds to clean the wound as it became deeper. 

Looking over at Ryan Ray cried , “Fucking kill me,” in the heat of the moment. Ray wanted it to be done.

Jack’s gloves were stained a blood chillingly deep red when the tweezers finally came back with a bullet between his tongs. Ray’s cried became whimpers and hiccups as Jack started stitching him up, the alcohol Ryan poured over the black thread made him jump every time. 

“We’re done,” Jack called it. 

Ray lay in the bed afraid to move around, Jack hadn’t given him any pain meds yet. Though somehow he felt numb all over he couldn't even make his hand move to wipe away the lingering tears.

The springs in the bed squeaked and Ray looked over watching Ryan carefully lay down next to him curling up by Ray’s good side. Ryan took Ray’s hand holding it tight. 

“Don’t you ever say that again,” Ryan’s eyes were pleading pools of spring water blue. 

“What?” Ray’s brows scrunched together. 

“Don’t ever ask me to kill you, do you understand?” Ryan squeezed Ray’s hand, “That was fucking terrifying, the look in your eyes. Never again, Ray you’re not gonna die, ever.” 

Ray moved ever so slightly so he could rest his head against the top of Ryan’s head, “I won’t die Ryan, I promise. On the off chance I do, I hope it’s not by you.” 

“I could never hurt you.” 

Time was unknown down in the basement like medical facility and Ray could feel his eyes getting droopy again as he laid with Ryan. 

Waking up Ray’s heart starting racing as he realized his surroundings were different and his side was gently throbbing instead of burning. He started sitting up before realizing it was a bad idea and slumped back into bed, nothing around him looked familiar. It was like a small motel room, one king sized bed, a door that must have led to a bathroom, Ray guessed on the other side of the bedroom door was a living room and kitchen maybe. Paint was peeling off the walls, and it was nothing like the apartment Ray was staying in a day ago, if anything it resembled his apartment from his old life. It must have been the safe house Ryan mentioned something about, who would look for high rollers with a ton of money in a shitty apartment? Probably everyone, the security was false. 

It was also short lived as Ray heard a door open. His mind replayed what had happened the day before and his fight or flight response kicked in. Unsure of where to fly to though he was left with just fight, he started looking around for his gun, and panicking in his new surroundings. He couldn’t find it. Footsteps muffled by the carpet were coming towards Ray’s room, he couldn’t sit there and repeat last time, Ryan had to leave weapons in every corner he just had to search. Ray made himself get out of bed instantly crumpling to the dirty carpet floor turning his back to the door as the footsteps stopped. The palms of Ray’s hands were sweaty, he was going to die for sure this time. 

“Good, you’re up,” the voice was familiar. 

Ray turned around slowly, “Hey Geoff,” he greeted the mustachioed crime boss. 

“How’s your wound?” Geoff nodded towards Ray’s injury. 

Ray grimacing slightly looking at the floor, "Dirty maybe?"

“I’m sorry about that,” Geoff shook his head, “But hey, you’re alive. I think we should talk business kid.” 

Ray was listening. 

“Ryan’s going to walk in here and baby the hell out of you, which by the way ew.” Geoff stuck his tongue out. “How you turned the Los Santos Vagabond with blood lust in his eyes to a love struck teen I’ll never know.”

Ray didn’t even know how he did it himself. 

Geoff continued, “I’m not going to let a member of my crew hang out and feel sorry for themselves, I promise we’re getting revenge, the bastards who did this will pay."

Ray remembered the conversation at the diner, Ryan had said Geoff held his crews safety above all else. In a weird way, Ray was touched by the man’s concern and need for violent action. 

“I brought you a present,” Geoff lugged a big black case that looked familiar to Ray on the bed. “You’ve got two days to get ready, I expect you to be ready to pull off your first heist with the rest of us. Ryan says you’re good at this, time to prove your worth to the rest of us.”

If anyone else had said that to Ray he would have felt embarrassed, nervous, or some kind of hurt; hearing it from Geoff though Ray knew he would make the older man proud. He was already planning on working hard as Geoff walked out the door leaving Ray alone in the shitty apartment again on the floor. He wanted to show Geoff, hell all of them, that he had a part in this crew with his new friends.

Ray carefully stood up using the bed heavily for support. He then moved his gaze to the black case Geoff had left. He took a deep breath before he flipped up the latches on the hard black case, and lifted the lid. Inside surrounded by black egg crate foam was a bright pink unassembled sniper rifle, it was almost like some kind of joke. Ray stopped short of skimming his finger across the sleek metal, he thought of yesterday, last time he held a gun someone died, he killed them. Could he do that again on purpose? Then Ray knew that was the test Geoff was presenting him with, could he handle it. Ray wasn’t sure. 

The front door opened again and Ray managed to keep his heartbeat steady. He could hear the rustle of bags being placed on a table and soft footsteps on the carpet. His eyes were stuck on the gun, the decision he had to make, stay or leave. 

“Where did that come from?” Ryan’s voice echoed in Ray’s head. 

“Geoff came by earlier and dropped it off,” Ray answered. 

Ryan said nothing after that he just stood next to Ray. 

“He wants me to help out in the next heist,” Ray finally reached out picking a piece of the gun up out of the egg crate. 

“No way, you were just shot, again!” Ryan’s voice rose. 

“I have to Ryan,” Ray decided. “If I can’t help out I’m not really part of the crew.” 

“You helped us figure out Joel’s computer,” Ryan put his hand on Ray’s shoulder.

“Yea, on accident,” Ray’s shoulders sagged. 

“You still helped,” Ryan squeezed Ray’s shoulder. 

Ray put the gun piece back down, he felt sick. 

“I do this or leave,” Ray sighed his eyes stuck on the gun. 

Ryan tried to tilt his head so he could be in Ray’s line of vision, “What?”

Ray kept his face towards the ground, “Ryan I’m not going to sit here and be useless.” Ray tried to hold back tears. “How many times have you let getting shot or stabbed, or even worse keep you down? Once you became the Vagabond,” 

“Don’t call me that,” Ryan’s voice was icy. “Nobody calls me that anymore.” 

“Once you became the Vagabond how many bullets did you let keep you in bed for days, do any guys from the crew let that happen?” Ray was curling his hands into fists. “Ryan I don’t want to feel like a fucking mob wife, waiting for you to come home after jobs, and I’m not some damsel in distress. I pull my weight or I go back to my life, or try to.”

Ryan said nothing and Ray put his hand on his side grimacing and leaning more against the bed for support.


	14. A Practice Chat

“Geoff gave me two days to train would you please,” Ray trailed off. 

“Yea,” Ryan spoke as he took the black case off the bed and helped Ray lay down before he left the room leaving behind an icy chill. 

What was behind the name Vagabond? 

Ray sat on the bed taking a few deep breaths before attempting to stand again. He knew he needed to get over the pain in his side, if he was going to be useful to anyone he would have to be able to stand up. Grunting Ray got himself off the bed and spun the case to face him so he could slowly remove the pieces. Pulling the gun out with its scope and silencer; he practiced assembling it and taking it apart. He got used to the weight in his hand before he opened the stand and let the gun rest on the bed. Ray sat back down on the bed getting in a better position to look through the scope with his glasses on. The room looked even worse up close, then his sight went black. 

“Hey,” Ray frowned looking up at Ryan. 

“Don’t point that at me.” 

“It’s not loaded,” Ray pushed the legs back up against the gun so he could lay it on the bed. 

“Here,” Ryan held out two pills and a glass of water. “For the pain.” 

Ray nodded taking the medicine with a large gulp of water.

“I also got you these,” Ryan tossed a grocery bag at Ray. 

Ray smiled looking into the bag on his lap, “Rye, you shouldn’t have.” Ray pulled out a brand new package of Oreos. 

“Well the old ones are still at the apartment.”

Ray set the cookies back on his lap, “Are we ever going to go back there?” 

Ryan nodded, “I’ve got some guys cleaning it up.” 

Pausing while ripping open the cookie package Ray frowned, would he ever feel comfortable in there again? He would remember the blood puddles in his room, the bodies would be gone, but not the memories. Ray continued striping open the package and eating his reward. 

“We’ll go shooting tomorrow,” Ryan sat on the bed next to Ray. “You’ll learn how to power through pain after being shot a few more times; don’t let that happen though. Today just take it easy.” 

Ray leaned against Ryan eating Oreos while Ryan’s fingers rubbed his scalp. He tried to offer cookies to Ryan a couple times, but Ryan turned them down. 

“I’m not really into sweet things,” Ryan mumbled. 

“Except me,” Ray smiled brightly at the man. 

Ryan smiled nodding as he moved Ray’s bangs across his forehead. 

They sat in bed and Ryan gave tips to Ray on the fastest ways to assemble and disassemble his sniper rifle. Ryan could practically put the weapon together with his eyes closed, and demonstrated that to Ray who clapped like he’d seen a great magic trick. Ray nodded when Ryan told him not a shell was to be left behind. 

“You better triple check the roof before you leave it, not one shred of evidence can be left that might link to you,” Ryan’s warning was stern.

Ray could see the worry swimming around Ryan’s icy blue eyes, he wondered if Ryan could see his. 

Practice continued until Ray’s hands were sweating, his arms hurt, and the pain in his side felt like a fire had started under his skin; even then Ryan had to make him stop. Ryan muttered something about making lunch and Ray started to stand up not wanting to be left in the room alone. He was lifted up by Ryan and carried into the living room placied on the couch with a kiss on the head and the TV remote. 

“I’ll be in the next room if you need anything,” Ryan whispered before he left.

Ray switched between surfing channels and lifting his shirt to look at his wound, it was an angry red color and the black thread holding his skin closed stood out. The pain when he moved was nothing compared to the act of removing the bullet last night, Ray knew he needed to get stronger like Ryan. The smell of food was starting to tickle Ray’s nose as he started to zone out his eyelids fluttering open and closed, his stomach growled, he didn’t even know what was on TV anymore. It had turned into a surprisingly lazy afternoon.

In the moment Ray started to drift off to sleep there was a pounding on the door that shocked him into alertness. He watched Ryan stride across the living room, with a questionably stained carpet, and pull his pistol from a holster on his jeans. With one hand on the doorknob Ryan looked through the peep hole, his shoulders relaxed. When Ryan relaxed Ray could relax his back pressed against the couch again instead of half off it ready to run.

The door opened and Michael and Gavin walked in. Michael was holding a case of beer and Gavin was wearing a stupid pair of sunglasses. Ray’s face lit up as soon as he saw them, the apartment felt more like home. 

“Glad you’re still alive,” Michael greeted Ray.

Ray laughed, “Turns out I’m not that easy to get rid of.”

At the statement Ryan stomped into the kitchen. 

“Something eating Rye?” Gavin plopped on the couch next to Ray with his question.

Ray shrugged, “I think he’s still sensitive about what happened.” 

“Good thing I brought beer,” Michael shook the case slightly and the brown bottles rattled around. 

Michael disappeared into the kitchen leaving Gavin alone on the couch with Ray. 

Ray couldn’t hide his excitement, “Can you leak me any details on the next heist?” he practically jumped on top of Gavin. 

“We’re hitting up a bank, pretty routine. Using a fire truck and cargo bob,” Gavin shrugged a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“How the hell are you guys going to do that?” 

Gavin lifted his sun glasses winking, “Magicians never reveal their secrets.” 

Ray crossed his arms, “You better start, I’m about to become a magician myself.”

Now Gavin’s excitement was peaking, “For real!” he got in Ray’s face. 

Ray nodded, “I’ll be sniping watching your backs from the roof tops.”

“Actually, I heard you’ll be in the cargo bob with Jack and I,” Gavin said.

Ray leaned back, “What?”

“I’m just as surprised; I thought it was going to be Michael.”

Ray could feel his stomach do flip flops, his feet had never been off the ground before. It seemed now like his first time in the air would involve a gun and making sure his friends didn’t die; no pressure there.   
Gavin had taken control of the TV remote not long after sitting down and Ray let him have it. Ryan brought out grilled cheese sandwiches and a soda for Ray, Michael had come out with beers. 

“Should have brought riot punch boi,” Gavin said grabbing a beer. 

“I didn’t want to get smashed,” Michael laughed. “We’re only here for the afternoon.”

“Where are you guys staying?” Ray asked. The couple had been living with Ryan and him. 

“We’re staying with Geoff,” Gavin chirped. “He’s moved back into the big house, you know he’s got rooms for you too.” Gavin had looked past Ray at this point his green eyes on Ryan. 

There was something sad shared between everyone’s eyes, except Ray’s, he sat out of the loop.   
Michael turned away to suck on his beer bottle, Gavin’s smile was missing the teeth and crinkled nose, Ryan was frowning looking at the ground. 

“The big house?” Ray moved back in front of Gavin’s vision to continue the conversation. 

Gavin’s eyes lit up, “636, the original Fake AH Crew house up near the mountains outside of the city! It housed all of us at one point, it’s where Michael and I met, it was home for the longest time.” Gavin trialed off for a moment looking lost in space. “We spent long nights there like family, I remember getting all of my Halo achievements there, and shooting in the back yard. It was huge; it had a pool and everything we could have wanted. A big garage, living room complete with gaming systems, couches perfect for everyone, a meeting room, there was no smog or loud noises of the streets, we could only hear the echoes of our voices at night, and the fridge was always full of beer,” Gavin laughed. 

“What happened?” Ray asked. 

Gavin’s starry eyes crash landed, “There was a fire, we were found, our little hide out was no longer that it had become a target. It was the dead of night,” he clutched his beer bottle tighter. “I was in Michael’s room, it wasn’t quite our room yet, Jack’s the one who woke up to the burning house ran to us, and burst in sweat on his brow. I had never heard Jack that loud before and I haven’t since, I was a light sleeper than and I’m an even lighter sleeper now. I pushed Michael awake as the heat came into the room suffocating us, Jack was ushering us to his room down the hall because he was the only one with a fire escape ladder. Jack made sure we stayed in front of him, and Geoff wouldn’t leave till Jack did out the window into the night air. You never think that kind of stuff will happen to you even if you are a big important target. We left after that, Geoff talked about getting the house fixed up, but we all knew we couldn’t live there anymore. We all moved on getting separate houses because it seemed safer, they wouldn’t be able to get us all at once, and we would always have somewhere to hide. Geoff was building his empire of thieves and he built the bunker we use now under it, I think it was supposed to be a replacement for 636, but it was impossible to replace.” 

“What makes you think it’s safe to go back?” Ray asked, “What if whoever lit it up comes back?” 

Gavin shrugged, “It’s been a while, it shouldn’t still be a hot spot. Besides I’m pretty sure the guy won’t be doing it again.” 

Ray’s eyebrows scrunched together, “You know who did it, did you catch them and kill them?” 

Gavin shook his head. 

“We should probably head out soon Gav,” Michael spoke up standing up stretching out his back. “Where’s your recycling bin?” he shook his bottle between his index finger and thumb.

Ryan got up and started walking to the kitchen, Michael followed.

“I’m sorry that happened,” Ray looked at Gavin. 

“You need to talk Ryan into coming back,” Gavin spoke quickly his eyes darting to the kitchen doorway. “I know he feels like he doesn’t deserve to be there, but he does, and I think everyone would feel safer having you two closer,” he hissed. 

“What?” Ray was confused, Gavin talked too fast.

Footsteps came back through the kitchen to the living room. 

Gavin’s smile kicked back into overdrive, “I hope you can come over and visit! Ray you would love it there!” he hopped off the couch slipping his arm through Michael’s nudging his boyfriend around a bit. 

They walked to the door stopping short.

Michael turned halfway, “Ryan, your room is still there, you’ve got the key.” With that they left. 

Ray watched Ryan untie his pony tail running his fingers through his hair combing it out before he put the tie back in. Ray sat and watched TV, his mind whirling as he tried to imagine what life at 636 must have been like, Gavin made it sound like the apartment but better. He wanted to go there and be a part of the history that Gavin would talk about with galaxies in his eyes. The encounter played in Ray’s head for the rest of the afternoon, he wanted to hear more. How did Gavin and Michael get together, what were their lazy days like, who had the highest gamer score, did the fridge have room for soda? He was coming up with a million ways to ask Ryan about moving there, but he never followed through with the carefully calculated plans in his head. 

Stars were dotting the sky and Ray was lying in bed on his back afraid to turn and lay on his sore side. Ryan had given him pain pills but they hadn’t fully kicked in yet. Thinking about Ryan, Ray turned his head watching the older man he had his back to Ray and his body moved steadily; Ray thought he was sleeping. It was about damn time too Ryan had gotten up about three different times to do nothing but pace around the apartment, each time Ray closed his eyes pretending to be asleep. In the silence of the area Ray could hear the squeaking bed springs and the groan of the floor as Ryan walked like even the house was too tired to support him. Even when he managed to settle down for about an hour Ryan had been tossing and turning in his sleep muttering things until he sat up quickly and left to pace again. Right then he seemed out for the count and Ray took a deep breath in, at least he could practice if he wasn’t going to get any sleep. 

“I could tell something was wrong today," Ray whispered to Ryan's scared back, "When Gavin started talking about 636, I knew you didn’t want to talk about it. Something happened and I get it was probably more than just the fire, but I think the guys really want you to go back, at least that’s the impression I got from Gavin,” he took another deep breath closing his eyes picturing talking to an awake Ryan. “I want to go there. You know though that if you don’t want to I won’t, I won’t leave you here alone. Ryan I wish you would tell me things, what makes you get up at night, what makes you toss and turn? Being back home in a safe environment like that away from all this shit in the city could be good for you, me, all of us.” Ray trailed off. It sounded stupid out in the air like that. 

“Insomnia,” Ryan’s voice was a whisper in the dark that made Ray freeze.


	15. Fear of Moving

Ryan’s voice was a whisper in the dark that made Ray freeze. 

“I just can’t sleep, possible paranoia too, because when you’re hunted twenty four seven who can really relax?”

Ray swallowed thickly, “And 636?” he knew he was pressing his luck. 

“I didn’t live there long enough to grow as attached as Gavin; I don’t live anywhere long enough to get attached. I was working for another gang during the long nights the guys shared at 636,” Ryan’s voice was cold. 

Ray was getting goosebumps, “The fire-“

“I was already working for another gang for a while by then,” Ryan’s words sounded like they were forced through his teeth. 

“So living there-“

“Out of the question, I’m never going back.” 

“I don’t have a room there,” Ray sat up flopping on top of Ryan. “We can share,” he whispered in Ryan’s ear with a snicker. 

“No.” 

“Come on,” Ray whined. 

“You can go.”

“Not without you.” 

“Just go.” 

“Ryan, not without you,” Ray was rolling his eyes.

“Can you drop it?”

“Can we move?” 

“Ray!” 

“I don’t see the big deal,” Ray pouted. 

Ryan was quick; before Ray knew it he was flipped on his back with Ryan towering over top of him holding him down calloused hands squeezing around his throat. Instinctively Ray’s fingers went up to try and pry Ryan’s hands off of him; Ryan just squeezed harder. 

“I started the fire!” Ryan shouted. “I was paid to kill my friends while they slept, the only people who gave a damn out me; I didn’t even think twice!” Ryan punctuated the sentence by crushing Ray’s throat. 

Ray was wheezing panicking while looking into Ryan’s dark eyes, he knew Ryan was lost somewhere else- his eyes were blank and empty- he had no idea what he was doing.

“I’m a fucking monster, a killer on command. Why won’t you run away from me, as soon as you turn your back and I get money you’re dead!” Ryan moved on of his hands down to Ray's injury while still keeping a steel grip on Ray's throat.

“Ryan,” Ray wheezed. His throat was on fire and the edges of his vision were darkening. Ray had to bring Ryan back down to earth. 

Ryan’s face was contorted into ugly anger, “They knew it was me and still took me back when my tail was between my legs, why!” Ryan’s thumb started digging into Ray’s wound making Ray spasm. “Why did they forgive me, why do they trust me!”

Ryan broke the thin black thread that had been holding Rays skin shut. His thumb reopened the unnatural hole that had been made in Ray’s body. The pain made Ray kick and squirm- he fought harder to pry Ryan’s fingers from his neck. Ray made pathetic noises after each stitch Ryan popped back open.

“Ryan, please,” Ray’s voice was a whisper, “Please stop,” he wanted to shout. He was getting desperate, “They forgave you because,” he took as deep a breath as he could. “They’re your friends. They love you, I love you.” 

Ryan’s eyes went from harsh cold coal to a babbling brook the water escaping on Ray’s face. The man jumped away from Ray hands over his mouth as his brain processed what he’d done. Ray gasp taking in gulps of air feeling the pain in his side as blood flooded over him.

“Ray I’m-“

Ray’s head was spinning and he instinctively moved back away from Ryan as fast as he could like a trapped animal. He could see the fear in his eyes reflect in Ryan’s. Ryan moved backwards like Ray had burned him with his gaze.

“Oh God,” Ryan got off the bed and backed up against the opposite wall bumping into the doorframe before hurrying into the living room. 

Ray’s chest was heaving up and down- in that instant he had become afraid of Ryan- he never knew the mercenary had that much going on inside his head, no wonder he never slept. Ray was trying to steady his breathing as he looked back down at his wound and wincing. Ryan had really forced the wound back open. Sitting in the dark he listened hearing ragged breathing coming from the room so close to him- the walls here were like paper.

It was slow movements and motivation that got Ray up across the bedroom to lean on the door frame. Seeing the curled up ball on the couch made his heart hurt, “I don’t,” he paused coughing his voice was raspy. “I don’t want to bleed on the sheets," he called into the small living room.

Ryan looked up and even in the dark Ray knew the man with a heart of steel was crying when he casually sniffed. 

Carefully walking across the carpet as if he was approaching an animal Ray eased his way towards Ryan. Nothing was said and the small space between them felt like a vast expanse of nothing in the dark- a void. 

It was daring to sit on the couch; Ray’s body was still telling him no- the man in front of him had just tried to kill him. Ray forced his legs to be still as Ryan unfolded himself. 

“I’ll wash them.” 

Ray could hear the ice in Ryan’s voice. Still Ray sat there still as stone in an awkward silence that hadn’t plagued them since their first car ride. 

Sitting on the edge of the couch for ten minutes in complete silence Ryan coldly let Ray know he wasn’t going to fix what he damaged. Ray got up and blindly stumbled into the kitchen kicking furniture he was unfamiliar with all the way there. He waved his arm around until he knocked over the napkin dispenser and roughly pulled out a handful to stick to his stomach- it wasn’t bleeding all that bad anymore- the napkins were holding the blood back. 

Retreating back to the bedroom not saying a word to Ryan in the process Ray laid in the dark absently rubbing his throat until he finally fell asleep. 

Waking up Ray looked down at his side grimacing at the napkins stuck to him. He gently started to pull them off as Ryan walked into the room making it a point to look everywhere- but at him. Ray sat up straighter as he realized what Ryan had brought in behind him; Ray hadn’t heard it on the carpet. 

“You’re kidding,” Ray’s voice was but a whisper. 

Ryan stayed silent turning to leave the room. 

“You’re fucking kidding!” Ray shouted. 

Stopping in the door way Ryan slouched against the frame. 

“I’m not packing it,” Ray growled.

“Already done, did it while you were sleeping.” 

Ray was seething. 

The knock on the door left a hollow hole in Ray’s chest. 

“Glad you’re up, they’re here,” Ryan walked out. 

Narrowing his eyes Ray grabbed his hoodie zipping it up and hurrying into the bathroom slamming the door behind him and locking it. Pacing back and forth along the tile floor he scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. He paused looking in the mirror pulling at the skin under his eyes; fuck Ryan was seriously shipping him away. His tired eyes moved to his neck, he pulled his hoodie up higher around his shoulders to hide the dark fingerprint marks. Moving a hand to his chest he could feel his heart rate increase dramatically- cause this was fucking happening- it wasn’t a dream. 

The rattling doorknob pried Ray away from the mirror his dark eyes now watching the golden handle turn back and forth halfway, clicking. 

“Ray, come on,” Ryan’s voice was stern. 

Saying nothing Ray continued to watch the doorknob.

“Don’t be such a baby,” Ryan huffed. “Just come out.” 

Ray could feel a bitter laugh stuck in his throat, Ryan was the one sending his problems away. The door jumped in its frame making Ray jump back. Ryan was pounding his fist smacking the door heavily. That hand was around his throat last night, Ray rubbed the skin gently. 

“I don’t see the problem you’re going to 636, that’s what you wanted.” 

Ray could feel the heat raising in his cheeks, “I wanted to go with you!” he shouted towards the door. 

As abruptly as it started the banging stopped, it was quiet- had Ryan given up- Ray stood there on edge in the silence on his own. 

A large amount of time seem to pass before the door knob was rattling slightly again as if it was being lamely nudged.

“You know I can’t go,” Ryan’s voice came in like a breeze through a crack in the door.  
The bastard had picked the lock.

Ray backed up further into the room with the light humming overhead.

Ryan stood in the doorway blocking the exit, not that Ray could think of any place to run to. The pit in Ray’s stomach was becoming bottomless; Ryan wasn’t even looking at him. Behind the wall of Ryan Ray could see Michael and Gavin peeking over. 

“I know Ryan started the fire!” Ray shouted to the spectators.

Ryan flinched. 

“Gavin,” Ray addressed the British man directly.

Trying desperately to get Gavin to read his mind Ray kept staring down the lanky Brit. He had to tell Ryan what Ray knew, but if Ray were to start the initial conversation Ryan would assume it was scripted and planned-he wouldn’t believe them- he blamed himself too much. There was no winning. 

Ray’s shoulders slumped forward and Ryan moved from the doorway knowing he had won.  
It was silent enough that the drop of a pin could have been heard in the small apartment.

Ray grabbed the suitcase roughly, bitter blood rushing through his veins.

Biting his tongue from the moment his butt hit the seat Ray could have bitten it off while he was looking out the window watching the city turn into trees. 

Radio silence followed them into the country side Ray didn’t even know existed in Los Santos. By the time they got to his house his anger had fizzled to pathetic sadness.

Walking into the house Ray knew right away this was where he should have met the Fake AH Crew all along. It was spacious with a wide inviting living room from the moment he entered. A kitchen sat open with the living room and from there past a sliding door a patio sat just as furnished as the living room minus a TV.

Jack was casually sitting outside on that patio in a wooden chair reading while Geoff- bad ass leader people were scared off- was watering plants. The scowl on Ray’s face crooked up slightly when Geoff’s blue eyes caught his and he put his watering can down to greet them. 

“Hey buddy,” Geoff looked around them. 

Ray looked at his feet; he knew who Geoff was hoping to see. 

“We’ve got a room upstairs for you,” Geoff pointed past the kitchen. “I’m sure Gavin can show you. I’ll set some stuff up in the back yard and we can start training.” 

The statement made Ray anxious as he followed Gavin up the stairs, the scary crime lord – Geoff plant dad Ramsey- was going to be preparing him for the heist. Hello even more pressure. 

The door opened squeaking on its hinges; Gavin had looked reluctant to open it at all.  
Standing outside the doorway Ray could see four grey walls and books neatly aligned on a shelf. The room looked like no one had touched it for years. He couldn’t. 

“Did you take me to Ryan’s room?” 

“Thought you might just be curious,” Gavin shrugged. “Course my room’s open to you,” he quickly stuttered out. 

“I thought he kept it locked?” 

“Geoff had extra keys made,” Gavin handed the silver key off to Ray. “Ryan was the only one who even really locked his door though.” 

Ray held that key limply in his hand still standing right outside the door. He wanted the room out of spite, to go through Ryan’s things, to dig up secrets he doubted would even be there. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have brought you to this one,” Gavin bounced around awkwardly on his toes twiddling his thumbs. 

Ray quickly stepped past the threshold of the door, “I’m all good,” he gave a thumbs up. 

“If you want to switch at any time let me know,” Gavin waved walking back downstairs. 

Ray stood there awkwardly for a few seconds; he was in Ryan’s personal space. The way Gavin wouldn’t even look at it for longer than a glance, Ryan must have kept it pretty private the short time he lived there. 

Lugging his suitcase Ray flopped it up on the bed opening the case so he could pull out another buried under clothing, his sniper rifle. 

Ray hurried back downstairs with the back case in his hands.  
The atmosphere downstairs lifted the clouds around Ray ever so slightly.  
Gavin was squawking while Michael wrestled him to the ground and Geoff watched chuckling. 

“I’m covered in Redbull,” Michael was trying to catch Gavin’s flailing arms. 

“Michael I’m sorry,” Gavin whined.

“You better clean it up,” Michael scowled.

Ray noticed the can in question emptied of its contents the liquid staining the floor. Michael had finally pinned down Gavin and Jack dropped a roll of paper towels down on the lanky man’s head with a pomf. 

“Use the paper towels of I’ll use your shirt,” Michael pushed up off of Gavin. 

Ray smirked when Gavin stood up- the man was part cat-his green eyes were trained on Michael who was walking to the couch. Instead of cleaning Gavin –tried- to jump over the couch grabbing onto Michael and pulling him down. 

The small playful quarrel started to turn into kiss and cuddles with Gavin giggling too loudly.  
Ray squashed down the bitterness starting to well in his heart, his eyes wandered to the front door as if right then Ryan would walk in like movie. 

Jack cleared his throat and Geoff sighed. 

“Alright, don’t make me get the hose,” Geoff looked towards Ray. “I’m taking you out back, and the love nerds better be out in five after cleaning up the Redbull.” 

Ray nodded following Geoff – dodging the scrambling love nerds- to the patio tugging his sniper rifle case along. 

Outside of the patio extension a wide backyard spread out, the grass was green and lush, a white picket fence was in the distance with an orange sign. Trees were littered in front of and beyond the fence, Ray could make out what looked like a hiking trail that could have gone up to Mount Chiliad. Ray had never seen so much nature in his life living every day in the smoggy city.


	16. Picture Perfect Past

“I think I need to go back inside and turn on every electrical appliance I can find,” Ray snorted. 

Geoff chuckled, “Kid, we need to get you out more.” 

Ray shrugged making sure to pull the hoodie back up to cover his neck while Geoff pointed to a cluster of trees.

“There, let’s see your aim,” Geoff crossed his arms standing to the side. 

Ray squinted; he could barely make out four targets hanging on the tree trunks, some high enough to be obstructed by leaves. Ray set the black case on the ground and assembled his sniper rifle the same as yesterday. He put the scope to his eye and caught the targets in his sights. 

Four shots, missing two of the targets higher in the trees. 

Three more shots- Ray just couldn’t hit them- he was frustrated. 

Geoff had walked behind Ray and started to help him position his shots better leaving tips in his ear on how to deal with hard to hit targets with objects obstructing his view. 

It made Ray think of Ryan –his jaw clenched- two shots both hit their mark. 

“Good job buddy,” Geoff clapped. 

The sliding door opened on the porch and Ray turned around seeing Michael and Gavin walking out. Gavin waved and Michael pushed him in turn making Gavin stumble over himself. 

“Why do we let you fucking use guns?” Michael remarked. 

Gavin whined, “I’m bloody top with’em, when someone isn’t tossing me around.”

“I didn’t toss you, idiot,” Michael rolled his eyes.

“Fuck later, train now,” Geoff pointed a finger at Ray making the man tug up the edges of his hoodie while eyes were on him. “I want him to be able to handle knives and get better at sniping by the end of the day.” 

“Geoff, he’s going to be in the cargo bob,” Gavin started. 

“I always like that just in case Gavin, you know we always have that one heist.” 

Michael stepped past them cracking his knuckles, “Time to whip you into shape little man.” 

Ray gulped setting down his sniper rifle and putting up his fists. 

Michael laughed, “Alright let’s fix your grip before you break your thumbs.” 

It continued on like this, Michael and surprisingly Gavin coached Ray on how to stand and throw what little weight he had around if he ever found himself without his gun. Michael showed Ray how to wield a knife and where to cut for a fast get away. Secretly Ray hoped he never had to get up close and personal with a bad guy.

They practiced until the sky got dark, the porch light came on, and Geoff was calling them in for dinner. 

Ray couldn’t wait to dig in as Geoff set hamburgers and hot dogs down on the picnic table right off the grill. 

The night was hot and stuffy, Ray rolled up his sweatshirt sleeves before biting into the mouthwatering hamburger, it tasted even better than it smelled.

“I’m thinking x-box after dinner,” Michael spoke through hot dog.

Ray nodded, his mouth was full. 

“Let’s check out those Call of Duty skills,” Michael nudged Ray’s arm with his fist.

Gavin was mumbling something around his chunks of food. 

“Fucking chew and swallow,” Geoff spoke up from the grill. 

“I’ll kick all your asses,” Gavin spoke up again with eh food obstruction gone. 

“I’m actually a champion, so good luck,” Ray smirked. 

Gavin jumped on Ray, “Then let’s play Halo, I’m the bloody best!” 

“Bet I can win that one too,” Ray said with the up most confidence. 

The crew was laughing except Jack who sat across the table his eyes fixed on Ray.  
Ray wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

Jack was still looking- examining- Ray nonchalantly wiped again. 

Jack shook his head, “It’s not on your face.” 

Everyone was now looking at Jack curiously. 

“Then what,” Ray paused looking over at Gavin; the man had pulled his hoodie down when he jumped on him. Ray quickly pulled up the edges of his hoodie. 

“Ray,” Gavin said his name like a question. 

Ray put the palms of his hands over the bruised areas and smiled, “Yea?” 

“Who did that to you?” Jack asked. 

Jack had seen for sure. 

“I have to use the bathroom,” Ray got up abruptly and headed into the house. Ray hurried up the stairs to the bathroom near the room he was temporarily occupying. He stared in the mirror, the bruised ringed around his neck was still a dark purple, maybe the edges were turning yellow. 

Looking at the bruise made his stomach turn –Ryan had done that- the man he thought he loved. Thought, had he stopped? Ray’s fingers curled around the edges of the porcelain sink, he remembered the look in Ryan’s eyes, they were so far away like he was awake and dreaming. In that instant Ray wasn’t Ray he was someone from Ryan’s haunting past, Ray couldn’t even guess who. 

There was a rasp on the door and Ray jumped back. 

Jack was standing in the door frame- Ray had forgotten to lock it- his knuckles were resting against the wood. 

“You want to tell me what happened?” 

Ray looked at his feet on the tile. 

“Happened during the break in,” Ray lied. 

Jack shook his head, “Nice try, I fixed you up, that wasn’t there.” 

“It took a few days to show up,” Ray shrugged. 

“Ray I’m the medic of the group,” Jack sighed. “That bruise looks pretty damn fresh.” 

It became quiet while Ray searched his brain for a lie on what could have caused it. 

“Geoff said Ryan called saying that you wanted to come over,” Jack spoke up. “Gavin was concerned you wouldn’t like it here, he said you locked yourself in the bathroom at Ryan’s today.” 

Ray didn’t have to stand there and take this.

Without another word Ray pushed past Jack who was easier to move than he expected. He started marching down the hall when Jack continued.

“I’m not the bad guy; I just want to make sure you’re okay.” 

Ray stood right outside the door to the room he knew was Ryan’s. 

“I wanted to stay with him,” Ray spoke softly towards the door frame. He wondered if Jack could even hear him, “I didn’t blame him and he couldn’t spend one more day with me, he couldn’t even look at me.”  
Ray waited for Jack’s response, when he turned to seek out the orange bearded man he was gone. 

Walking into Ryan’s room Ray had a strange mix of feelings, to search through everything, nothing, leave. Gavin said his old room was available and Ray thought about taking him up on his offer. 

Sighing Ray pulled the suitcase off the bed and flopped himself down instead. His dark eyes scanned around, there wasn’t much to look at, a book shelf with neatly arranged books, a desk with blank looking papers neatly stacked, a closet. There were no pictures or posters; the room was void of any personality. Ray understood, advertisement was something most gangs probably stayed away from in case they were found. The Fake AH Crew was different though, except for Ryan. 

Picking himself up, Ray walked over to the wooden desk thumbing through the papers finding them all blank, and just for show. Looking closer he could see a seam in the desk anyone who wasn’t looking close enough could miss. Ray opened the drawer of the sleek wooden desk expecting to see pencils rolling around, instead there sat a small metal box with an old looking lock on it.

Ray’s first instinct was to look; he gently removed the box from its resting place setting it on the top of the desk. Taking the lock in his hand he looked around for hiding places for the key –or objects to break it with- Ryan probably wouldn’t mind. 

For the sake of curiosity Ray pulled on the top of the container. As dumb luck would have it, it wasn’t actually locked, Ryan was one smart cookie. People see a lock and go looking for a solution, and get fed up or forget about it, or he just forgot to lock it. Either way Ray removed the lock and took the box to the bed setting it gently on the sheets. 

The box was full of pictures of various sizes, with bent corners, and different cameras. All of the pictures were of the Fake Ah Crew, mostly Gavin and Michael messing around the house, a couple on the job. One had Geoff posing with a gun while Jack rolled his eyes. There was a picture of Jack posing near a helicopter. There were pictures that looked like they had been screen shots from go pro video. They were outside a bank; Ryan was in one with his gun firing and black skull mask on. Ray noticed the theme of Ryan never noticing he was part of the pictures. The guys had taken them all when Ryan was preoccupied, it must have been the only way to get them. Ray could feel the smile on his face when he saw the pictures of Gavin being taken away in a squad car. They had been caught before; he wondered how they broke Gavin out later. 

Ray’s heart beat faster as he came to the last few pictures. Two were pictures Ray had sent a month ago, one of himself at the beach proving to Ryan he had gone outside, and the other a just because photo. Secretly Ray had hopped Ryan would send him a picture back, now he realized that probably would have never happened. 

Ray looked at the last picture for a long time. It was the whole crew in the living room with Michael and Gavin laughing on the couch beers in hand with Jack and Geoff behind them. Geoff’s arm looked like it was wrapping around another figuring trying to bring them over into the picture- it wasn’t rocket science to guess who-but the rest was torn away. The black and blue jacket that crept in front of Geoff was a dead tell, plus who else would it have been. Everything was so laid back, and everyone in the picture looked younger, if that was even possible. 

The door opened and Ray’s head snapped up. 

“What’ve you got there?” 

Gavin strode in standing next to Ray before he could pack everything back up. 

“I can’t believe Ryan kept these!” Gavin picked photos off the bed glancing over each one. “I remember taking this one!”

Gavin was smiling like he found buried treasure while he walked down memory lane.  
“Looks like he didn’t keep any with his face showing though,” Gavin was smirking. “Good thing I kept those,” He chuckled to himself. 

“No way,” Ray couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice.

“I have a picture of Ryan pulling funny faces with me while I was sick on the couch,” Gavin raised his right hand. “I swear it.” 

“Pictures or it didn’t happen,” Ray laughed. 

“Come on,” Gavin got up hurrying back to the door. 

Ray put the pictures back in the metal box and set it on top of the wooden desk as he followed Gavin out the door. 

Michael and Gavin’s room was covered in posters, clothes, garbage, DvD’s and framed pictures. 

“Who’s the shutter bug?” Ray smirked. 

Gavin raised his hand high, “I love taking pictures.” 

Gavin was rummaging through drawers in a dresser while Ray looked around.  
“You and Michael play online games together?” 

Gavin shook his head, “Well sometimes, a lot of the times those are for late night hacking or information gathering sessions.” 

“Are you guys ever coming down?” 

Speak of the devil; Michael was groaning walking into the room.  
“Gav I told you to grab Ray for game night, not rope him into hearing dumb stories.”

“He wanted to see pictures of Ryan,” Gavin was still rummaging. 

Michael chuckled, “You’ve got it so hard for him. The pictures are pretty funny though.”  
Michael laid across the bed and Ray stood awkwardly behind Gavin until the lanky man threw his arm up. 

“Found them!” Gavin exclaimed triumphantly. 

“Cool, can we play games now?” Michael sat up. 

Gavin handed the pictures off to Ray. 

Looking through the pictures was like looking through a window at a different person.  
Ryan was sitting back against the couch – he actually looked relaxed- playing video games. He was leaning against the counter making a face while biting into an apple. There were several pictures of him throwing knives while Gavin looked surprised. Pictures of Ryan in his room playing games on a laptop or reading a book. There was the picture of Gavin laying on the couch with a blanket and a mug in his hand while Ryan made a funny face. 

It dawned on Ray; in the picture of sick Gavin Ryan had been the one to take the photo. Ryan was making Gavin feel better. 

There were a couple more photos of Ryan being Ryan in a way Ray had never gotten to see, relaxed, his blue eyes unafraid of his surroundings. Ray wanted that Ryan, he wanted to wake up to that Ryan, and kiss that Ryan. Ray felt his cheeks get warm. 

“Are you done drooling?”

Michael and Gavin were in the door way Gavin laughing into his cupped hand. 

Ray set the pictures on the bed, “Last one down stairs is a rotten egg!” he hurried past the two and heard them thumping behind him. 

Ray jumped onto the couch laughing and slightly winded pulling his hoodie up as he watched the other two. Gavin was using his long legs to his advantage, but they were easy to tangle and Michael knew that. 

Michael gave Gavin a shove throwing the man off balance stumbling towards the kitchen while Michael secured second place. 

“That’s cheating!” Gavin squawked walking briskly to the living room. 

Gavin crossed his arms flopping down on the couch; Michael ruffled the man’s hair before kissing his cheek. 

Ray ignored the gesture opting to grab the controllers off the coffee table and start up the Xbox.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while,I recently got a job and have been kinda busy, but I'm back to writing


	17. Paint Ball Massacre

“The achievements in this game are annoying,” Gavin said while tapping away on the controller. 

They had just switched from Black Ops to Halo and Ray had to admit he could see the improvement in Gavin’s shooting skills.

“Look up a guide,” Michael suggested. 

“Feels a bit like cheating,” Gavin shrugged. 

“Nah,” Ray piped up. 

Gavin pulled out his phone. 

“Not right now! We’re playing idiot,” Michael snapped. 

“It’ll be like two seconds,” Gavin shushed the fiery man. 

Ray knew his cheeks were crimson when the voice coming through Gavin’s phone speaker was his own.

Michael was howling with laughter.

“What the fuck! Ray that’s you!” 

“I know,” Ray had stopped tapping on his controller. 

“You do stuff on YouTube,” Gavin stated more than asked. 

“Used to,” Ray corrected. 

Michael was wiping fake tears from his face, “Goddamn dude,” laughter still bubbled from his throat. 

“It used to be the best thing I could do,” Ray shrugged. “I was good at games and was showcasing my talent.”

Michael and Gavin’s characters had stopped moving and Ray sighed, pausing the game watching them curl up to watch Gavin’s phone. 

Waking up the next morning Ray could smell bacon, he yawned wiping his eyes sitting up. He gently massaged his shoulder, it was a little stiff, he also remembered he needed to ask Jack to fix up his side. He didn’t want to though, not until he had a cover story for how the stitches got fucked up. 

Looking over the back of the couch Ray saw the orange haired man was the one cooking. Ray glanced over at the two men he had been playing games with last night, they looked fast asleep on the other side of the couch. This was Ray’s chance to talk to Jack privately. 

Ray slowly got off the couch tiptoeing across the hardwood until he could lean against the granite counter top. 

“It’s not quite ready yet,” Jack spoke up first. 

“I’m not here to sneak fist dibs,” Ray put his hands up in surrender. “I… I just need,” Ray fidgeted. “I need to be patched up a bit?” 

Jack turned around at that looking curious. 

“I kind of popped a stitch or two and,” Ray trailed off. 

“Let me see,” Jack turned the burner on low before moving over to Ray.   
Ray inhaled sharply before taking off his sweatshirt; he knew the bruises on his neck would be exposed as he continued to take off his shirt so Jack could get a good look at the wound.

“Shit,” Jack breathed. “You popped more than a few, kid this looks..” Jack was peering closely at the thread. 

“Caught it on a twig,” Ray lied lamely. 

“I need you to tell me,” Jack looked at Ray, his gaze was piercing. 

“It was an accident,” Ray could hear his own voice become even lower in case someone else woke up. “Ryan was having a night terror or something,” Ray stuttered. “I know he didn’t mean to hurt me.” 

Without another word Jack was turning to leave, Ray snatched the man by the shirt sleeve. 

“Please don’t tell Geoff, or anyone.” 

“I’m just going to get supplies.” 

Ray let go slumping back against the counter.   
Jack patched Ray up in no time and Ray bit his lip keeping quiet until everyone started to stir looking for breakfast. Ray quickly put his jacket on while everyone filtered in. 

“Agenda for today?” Ray asked as Geoff helped Jack pull out plates. 

“Another day of training,” Geoff spoke through a yawn.

Gavin groaned from the couch. 

“Did you all fall asleep down here last night?” Geoff asked.

“If by all you mean the lads,” Gavin stated, “That’s a yes.” 

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Michael was sitting at the counter next to Ray. 

“What does what mean?” Gavin was up and stretching. 

“Why lads?”

“Cause we’re young and spry,” Gavin hopped over to the counter proving his point.

“What does that make Jack and I?” Geoff crossed his arms.

“Don’t forget Ryan,” Gavin pointed out. “You guys are gents, cause you’re older.” 

Geoff pouted and Ray could hear Jack snort. 

Breakfast was just as good as dinner, Ray couldn’t complain about the food there. Geoff kept looking at his phone and Ray was itching to check his own, he could have called Ryan, he was kicking himself for not trying. 

“Let’s roll,” Geoff stood by the door tapping his foot and jingling his keys. 

Ray had gotten ready at the speed of light, nerves about tomorrow worming their way into his gut. He knew he needed this training session and didn’t want to waste a second of his time. 

Pulling up to a paintball place was funny and fitting. 

“Time for target practice,” Geoff announced cutting off the transmition. 

Michael bounced out of the car first putting his hands on his hips smile so big his dimples showed. 

“You’re all dead,” Michael put his hands in the air. 

“Michael,” Gavin whined, “We’re on your team.” 

Michael laughed, “Well than you two get to live.” 

Ray was laughing along excited for his first time playing paintball, and he felt like being on Michael’s team would give him an advantage.

“Wait,” Ray paused his stride, turning his head around, “How are we breaking off into teams, the numbers uneve-“ 

“Damn it Geoff, you told me this was a job not a play date,” a gruff voice huffed appearing from the front of the establishment. 

Ray looked to the ground putting his hood up as Ryan’s footsteps got closer. 

“It’s not a playdate,” Geoff assured him. “It’s training.” 

Ray wanted to go home; he could learn more in the backyard. 

Walking in Ray could feel Ryan’s eyes flicker to him, every time Ray got the courage to look back the mercenary was preoccupied with something else leaving Ray to look at the cold black latex skull mask. 

A gun was thrust into Ray’s hand along with a bag of rented gear. He followed the other lads- it was now their official team name- to a back room to change into the gear before rushing the field. 

Ray felt clunky with all of the padding now added to his body; he wondered if that’s what it felt like to have muscles, clunky and clumsy. 

“I’m so dead,” Ray muttered as they loaded their guns and walked out into the forest arena. 

The area they were playing in was perfect for sneak attacks and mimicked the buildings they’d be maneuvering around. There were lots of trees, a rundown looking shack covered in paint splotches, hiding spots everywhere. Ray’s heartbeat was picking up while he followed Michael and Gavin through the eerie quiet. 

Michael had a plan; Ray could see it in the boy’s eyes when he waved them over to the side of the worn shack. 

The air was deathly still all Ray could hear was his breathing echoing. 

“Stay low,” Michael hissed. “I’ve got the front, Gavin you watch the back, and Ray you stand between us watching the sides.”

Ray nodded. 

“Keep your finger close to the trigger,” Michael continued. “Be tense, ready to shoot in an instant.”

Ray didn’t think he could be tenser as they left the small safety the worn down shack provided.   
His eyes darted everywhere, each rustling leaf set Ray on edge. He knew he had to focus, keep his eyes peeled and team members safe. 

They had been walking for what felt like twenty minutes before Gavin shouted, “Behind us!” 

Shots started to ring out and paint exploded against trees. 

“Down!” Michael automatically hit the ground and Gavin followed. 

It took Ray a second and by the time his brain registered the movement around him Michael was dragging him down into the dirt. 

Michael started shimmying back against a clump of trees and Ray followed staying as low as he could till he could put his back against a thick tree. The shots had paused and Michael took this chance to shoot his own paint barrage back. 

Ray took a deep breath watching Michael and Gavin shooting into the tree line, Ray couldn’t see anyone out there. He doubted the other two could see anything either, they were shooting blindly hoping for a lucky shot. 

Movement, it was subtle but, Ray had caught it.

“Gavin!” Ray shouted. 

Two shots rang out, Ray knew one was his. 

The shooting had stopped and Ray wondered if he’d hit his mark. 

“Fuck,” Michael hissed moving his position to Gavin. 

Ray’s head shot over looking at Gavin lying on the ground clutching his chest while Michael cradled him.

“Go on without me,” Gavin whispered before making a loud throaty death noise with lots of spit mixed in. 

There was an echo sound coming from the other tree line, a gent for a lad. 

Michael rose slowly still close to the trees, “They’re dead.” 

Ray frowned; Michael was taking the game a little too seriously for his liking. 

The two remaining lads went sprinting across the course back towards the shack, Ray’s head turning like an owl to make sure they weren’t being followed. 

Ray pressed his back against the wooden shack panting before hearing a rustle and raising his gun. 

Michael was already firing and another over the top death rattle echoed around them. The game had quickly become two to one. 

Michael turned to face Ray, “I’m guessing the last one alive is..” 

Michael’s eyes went wide as he looked past Ray before the front of his chest exploded into a splatter of blue and he fell to the ground sputtering some stupid noise. One to one. 

Ray spun around gun firmly in his grasp finger on the trigger, but there was no one in the doorway Ray had foolishly stood in front of. Cursing himself Ray cautiously walked into the wooden structure –it became even quieter- if it was possible it seemed like all noise had been erased. 

A small creak had Ray alerted spinning around fast shooting off a shot at nothing but air. He was breathing quickly his eyes darting around the small structure; there weren’t that many hiding spots. 

Before Ray could investigate the few opportune places a thick forearm locked itself around Ray’s sore throat. Reflexes caused Ray’s hands to grab the mans arm dropping his gun and clawing at his attacker. Ray was shoved forward tripping over his own feet while quickly reaching down for his gun. 

A big black boot kicked the gun back from Ray’s grasp and Ray finally got his eyes on his attacker –no surprise- Ryan had been the surviving gent. Ray grit his teeth, he needed to get his gun back to win.

“Is this Geoff’s idea of group therapy?” Ray joked lamely. 

Ryan had the black skull mask on, all the emotion Ray got was from his glacier blue eyes. The man didn’t move an inch so Ray assumed his joke wasn’t well received. 

“Ryan,” Ray started. 

Ryan raised his gun and for a second it all felt too real to Ray. The vacant look in Ryan’s eyes told Ray he might have been having another flash back experience. 

Small talk wasn’t an option and Ray quickly stood up trying to think of a way to get his gun back.

Rays thoughts were stopped short as he stood chest against the barrel of Ryan’s weapon. With a sharp bang Ray could feel the paint even through the heavy padding at point blank range.   
Ray mustered up the best guttural chocking on blood noise he could before falling straight back hand on his chest letting his eyes close. 

Hands were shaking Ray and removing his face mask. Looking up Ray saw an unmasked Ryan looking down on him with concerned eyes. 

“Awe, you do care,” Ray could feel the shit eating grin on his face. 

Ryan sneered helping Ray slowly sit up.


	18. Chapter 18

Ray winced, “I can already feel the new bruise for my collection.” 

The air was sucked out of the room and Ray kicked himself noticing what he said a minute too late. Ray rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. 

“I… I don’t… I don’t hate you or blame you.” 

Ryan nodded, “I know.” 

“So why make me leave?” the question was burning in Ray’s soul. 

At first Ryan just shrugged and Ray was positive the conversation would end there, abrupt and expected. 

“I hate myself,” Ryan’s diamond eyes were looking at the wall. “I couldn’t stop looking at what I’d done; while you were sleeping I knew I had to protect you.”

“We’ve already had this conversation,” Ray shook his head. “I know it was an accident.” 

“I’m scared Ray.” 

The words made Ray’s heart jump into his throat, the mighty Vagabond- the terror of Los Santos- afraid. Ray swallowed thickly. 

“I don’t know what I could do to you, I don’t want to know,” Ryan ran his gloved fingers through his hair. “You don’t understand how much you mean to me, and how I can’t lose you. I saw how afraid you were of me, looking at me like I could snap again and kill you. I couldn’t face that. I couldn’t risk it.” Ryan’s eyes finally drifted connecting with Ray’s. 

Ray accepted the risk that came with Ryan as he put his arms around the older man’s neck pulling him down so their foreheads touched. 

“I’ll admit I was scared,” Ray could feel Ryan’s shoulders stiffen. “We’ll work through it, day by day, the good and the bad. I’ll take all of you, no matter the risk, because at the end of the day it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t control it.”  
Ray angled his head down to gently catch Ryan’s lips. 

“Did we win?” 

Gavin poked his head into the shack door and Ray pulled away slightly blushing showing off his painted exterior. 

“Damn,” Gavin hissed under his breath. “Best two out of three!” 

“I’m up for another round,” Geoff stood behind Gavin. 

“If lads win, Ryan moves into 636,” Ray nudged the older man.

“Sounds like a bet,” Geoff nodded. 

With little protest the game was reset and started off much like the first game. Gavin died first, but had lasted longer than last time and two gents were taken down in honor of the fallen lad. Ray felt like they had the advantage against whoever was left, course he had felt that way last time and Ryan had bested him. He knew he had to win this to get Ryan to come back with them; Ray would take Gavin’s room tonight if they won. 

Michael went down to Ray’s right and Ray ducked behind a tree his heart pounding. Ryan had to be the last gent left, looking over at Michael lying on the ground, the paint splatter was perfect. Ray took deep breaths trying to calm his shaking hands, he had to win. 

A twig snapped and so did Ray’s neck towards the sound, it almost sounded too careless for Ryan. Maybe he wanted to lose, to move back in on a bet instead of admitting it.   
Another twig crunched and Ray lifted his gun looking through the sight finger tense around the trigger.

It was a flash of something that didn’t fit, a color that slightly differed from its surroundings that had Ray’s attention. The color was more of an olive than the forests lush green; Ryan had to be hiding back between a group of bushes. The thought alone was incentive for Ray to pull the trigger peppering the bushes with balls of paint. Ray’s breathing was heavy, his heart pounding in his ears like the night of the break in and his first kill. He eased off the trigger, but he never let the barrel of his gun fall. 

Hands up and a guttural death noise signified the end of the game as Ryan appeared from the bushes with several paint splatters over his padded chest. 

“Nice shooting,” Ryan mumbled. 

Ray let his gun fall and a small smile spread across his lips as he took off his face protection as he heard stomping through the woods. 

“Lads win!” Gavin shouted throwing his arms in the air. 

Michael hooked his arm around Ray knocking him slightly off balance before pulling him in close to tussle his hair. Ray smiled letting himself be lead out back towards the starting area, not before he caught a glimpse of Geoff approaching Ryan and saying, “Welcome home buddy.” Ray couldn’t stop the tugging in his heart, Ryan was never once thought of as a foe, just someone they were staying up late for waiting to come home. Now that Ryan was coming back, they could shut the porch light off. 

Getting back to the house Ray noticed a motor cycle parked out front he had never seen before, leaning against it was Ryan’s broad frame. 

Piling out of the car Geoff was the first to interact with the man who seemed light on baggage for someone who was moving in. 

“Where’s the car?” 

Ryan just shrugged, “Towed after being caught by multiple traffic cams and tickets I never paid. Figured it was time to bring the bike back out.” 

“We can get it from impound later,” Geoff assured him. “Or hell, get you a new one after the heist.” Geoff laughed and Ray could feel a pit in his stomach. The heist was tomorrow whether he was ready or not; he didn’t feel ready. 

Everyone started walking inside, Ray hung back knowing Ryan would. They stood by the motorcycle, Ray wringing his hands as he watched Ryan reach into his back pocket for a packet of cigarettes. Ray didn’t know what to say, he was thinking back to the Ryan he saw in the pictures wishing he knew how to bring him out.   
Without another word Ray walked inside the house letting the door click softly behind him, he walked with his head down and almost walked right into Geoff. 

Geoff put his hand on Ray’s shoulder leaving him tongue tied, his crystal clear blue eyes were soft and wise beyond what seemed necessary for a man of his age. “He’ll come in when he’s ready, he just needs to get his feet wet again.” 

Ray pulled his hoodie tighter up around his neck, “Yea, I guess.” 

Geoff gave Ray’s shoulder one more firm squeeze before walking off into the kitchen toward the stairs, Ray stood in the hallways listening to his footsteps creak up the stairs. 

“Don’t stay up too long, we’re up early tomorrow!” Geoff shouted from the top of the stairs. 

Ray stood in the hallway for two more minutes before walking across the house to the covered patio to join the other lads sitting at the picnic table. 

“Does anyone even know what we’re doing tomorrow?” Ray asked. 

Gavin nodded, “Got the debrief two days ago.” 

“I didn’t,” Ray frowned. 

It was a warm humid night in Los Santos, maybe slightly chillier being closer to the mountains. Crickets were humming the song they’d shared a million times over while Ray stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. 

“Geoff’s just flexing his muscles,” Michael put up air quotes. “We’re doing an easy hit on some bank to grab some extra cash. Plus it’s good practice before we take out the porta potty on Sorola’s construction site.” 

“I know that name,” Ray interjected. “The guys who broke into Ryan’s old apartment used that name, how did you figure out it was his?” 

“We’ve still been working there, plus Kerry’s worm hung around in Joel’s computer,” Michael explained. “Did some digging and his name came up as a sponsor funding the building being built. Best guess, he’s using it as a recruitment spot. Our next move is to take it down.” 

Ray sat at the picnic table across from Michael, “Joel is expecting me to go back eventually, I can’t just disappear.” 

Michael waved his hand, “We’re hitting the building right after this heist, don’t worry about it.”

“Right,” Ray let out a heavy sigh. “What about tomorrow then?” 

“I know,” Gavin piped up. “You’re going with Jack and I to the airport to grab a cargo bob so we can pick up the truck full of money Geoff, Michael, and Ryan will collect. We’re also support keeping them safe from any cops we can take down while air born.” 

Ray crossed his arms and sat on the table, “Seems like a lot of work for a practice run, what about our actual heist?” 

Michael put a hand up “Whoa, one job at a time dude.” 

Ray let out a long sigh, “Sorry, just seems like we put a lot of work in at the construction site and we’re just putting it off. I’m the only one who needs practice.” 

“We all get a little rusty,” Jack was standing inside the sliding door. “Geoff’s got his reasons for doing things the way he does, trust it. We’ll get the construction job done; especially now we know its run by Sorola’s men, they hurt you and Geoff want’s his sweet revenge.”

“Ryan probably wants some too,” Gavin added. 

Ray nodded. 

Jack checked his phone while Ray looked out into the dark yard shadows cast by the light inside with them. Ray stood up grabbing everyone’s attention as he slowly walked to the screen door pulling his hoodie tighter around his neck. 

“Where does that path go, past the trees?” 

“It’s an old jogging path up towards mount Chiliad,” Michael said. “Good for leg day,” he laughed. 

“Don’t stay out too late,” Jack reminded them before heading back inside. 

“Thinking about taking a night stroll?” Gavin asked. 

Ray shrugged, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, he felt antsy. 

“I’m heading to bed,” Michael stood lifting his arms and cracking his back.

“By that you mean cleaning your guns for the next hour and double checking the explosives you’ve already triple checked,” Gavin smirked. 

“Can’t be too careful,” Michael said while walking through the sliding door. 

“Night Ray,” Gavin was following at Michael’s heels. 

Ray gave a halfhearted wave leaning against the screen door watching fireflies starting to emerge and light up the night. He wanted to run, to stop the deep ache in his chest he chalked up to nerves, it seemed like so much more. Deeper than nerves, Ray wondered if Ryan had gone up to his room or if he was still outside by himself a cigarette dancing with the fireflies. Ryan would see Ray had moved into his space, what would he think? Would Ryan assume Ray had replaced his spot temporarily? Ray opened the screen door stepping out wishing he had a smoke, something to keep him busy. He was stalling. Ray was nervous about being in a room alone with Ryan again, what if something was different this time? What if the love wasn’t there anymore? Ray felt his heart beat faster. 

Walking out onto the lawn Ray shrugged off his sweatshirt sure no one would see him. He stood listening to the quiet; he strained his ears looking for the faintest sound of cars rushing past or games being played back inside. Passing out to the sounds of clicking controllers Ray hadn’t noticed the heart pounding silence last night. 

The screen door opened with a creak and Ray quickly put his sweatshirt on fumbling around with the zipper.

“I already know what’s under there.” 

Ray stopped his frantic movements turning slowly to see Ryan standing outside the screen door, cigarette still in his mouth. His shoulders slumped as Ray watched the older man dig into his pockets before tossing the box of cigarettes and a lighter towards Ray. It was like Ryan had read his mind as Ray helped himself to a smoke. 

They were both killing time avoiding the obvious. 

Hiding in his own smog Ray watched Ryan looking up more than looking at him. 

“It’s still on,” Ray observed Ryan’s mask situation. 

Ryan touched his face as if he could forget the skull shaped obstruction. He made no attempt to remove it and Ray bit his lip trying to assess what it meant. 

“The one thing I hate about the city,” Ryan cut into the silence looking at the sky again. “Is you can never see the stars.” 

Ray looked up squinting, “Ryan I don’t-“ 

Ryan leaned into the patio room switching off the overhead light plunging the world further into an inky state. 

Looking up again Ray caught the thousands of twinkling dots he never thought that much about. They were glittering like diamonds the crew could never steal from the world.   
“Never pegged you for some sappy romantic,” Ray smirked letting his shoulders fall. 

“Just stating a fact.” 

“Right,” Ray didn’t mean for the sigh to slip out. 

Watching the stars Ray felt the expanse between himself and Ryan extend even further then what it really was, maybe two feet. It felt like the air had been taken from his lungs as Ray left his cigarette to burn itself off the ashes falling into the grass, he felt too small. 

Ray couldn’t take it anymore breaking eye contact with the sky he looked at Ryan instead. The moon seemed to favor the Vagabond who sat in a halo of light. This was God playing tricks on Ray, or giving him the most obvious sign in the world. The way Ryan’s eyes seemed to be crinkling in the mask Ray guessed he was giving some sort of smile under there. Another layer added to the mystery of the mad mercenary. “I should go move my stuff.”

“What?” Ryan dragged out the word slowly braking from his trance. 

“I… I, uh,” Ray stammered. “Gavin might have shown me to your room and I might have decided to bunk there. Didn’t sleep in it though, passed out on the couch playing video games.” 

Ryan provided no reply and Ray accepted the silence as the end of the conversation. Ray looked at the cigarettes and lighter in his hands, he didn’t really want to talk to Ryan if Ryan was done, he decided he would leave them on the picnic table. He walked past Ryan just barley grazing against the other man, Ray wished he had moved further away from the screen door.

At the last possible second calloused fingers wrapped around Ray’s wrist holding him firm and stopping him in his tracks. Ray could feel his cheeks flare and breathing increase, he was thankful for the darkness. 

“If it’s the smokes I was just going to put them on the table,” Ray cleared his throat. 

“Does it have to be hard again?” Ryan asked. 

Ray turned his head to look back at the man in the mask, Ryan was asking the stars.

“Do I have to push you away for good before it sinks in even further how lucky I am?” Ryan’s hand gently squeezed Ray’s wrist.

Ray stayed silent unsure what else to do.

“Leave your stuff in my room,” Ryan spoke to the twinkling lights that hung above them. “Or if you’ll let me call it this, our room.” Ryan’s head turned his eyes catching Ray’s with all their intensity. 

Ray nodded with his mouth agape.

Ryan tugged Ray’s wrist and Ray spun himself back around so he was facing Ryan holding out the lighter and pack of cigarettes. Ryan used his free hand to put the items away before tracing his knuckle along Ray’s jaw. 

Ray couldn’t hold back his giggles, “Want to take it to our room Romeo?” he made a point to emphasize the word ‘our’ loving the way it sounded. 

Ryan’s laugh was breathy and made Ray’s heart thump harder against his ribs. 

“I’m taking that as a yes,” Ray smiled starting to tug Ryan back into the patio to the still bright kitchen. 

As Ray dragged Ryan to the stairs Ryan stopped to turn off the light switch before continuing to Ryan’s old room.


	19. Heists and Heights part 1

Ray walked in first his heart smashing against his ribs and beating in his ears. He was in Ryan’s space with full permission this time, he slowly walked in and watched Ryan’s eyes drink it all in. Ray watched the nostalgia fill Ryan’s eyes as he pushed his bangs out of his face before turning to close and lock the door much to Ray’s surprise.

Ryan shrugged noticing Ray’s odd look, “Old habits,” He didn’t make a move to unlock it.

Ray sat on the bed watching Ryan stalk around the room like he had a lot to remember about the bare surroundings.

Ryan walked to the desk pulling his mask out of his jacket pocket and setting it down on the wood before pausing. Ray tried to look around Ryan’s broad form to see what kept him stuck in place. When he turned around with the box of pictures in his hands Ray’s eyes fell to the ground. Instantly Ray knew he looked guilty. 

“I snooped a little,” Ray shrugged listening to the lid being opened. 

“How many did you look through?” 

“All of them,” Ray winced. “Gavin showed me a couple, I really liked the one of you two goofing around on the couch,” Ray peeked up and Ryan had photos in his hand, and a smile creeping across his lips. 

Ray still wanted to know when he got to see the carefree Ryan. 

“There’s a ripped picture in there,” Ray said. “Do you still have the other half on you?” 

Ryan opened his mouth ready to say something; Ray watched his hand start to move up when the sound of Gavin jiggling the doorknob and whining filled the room. Ray sighed rolling his eyes with a smile on his face when Ryan went to unlock the door. 

“The locks really a thing again?” Gavin’s eyebrow rose before he shook his head. “Michael wants to see you, says it’s about explosives for tomorrow.” 

Ryan nodded before leaving the room. 

Gavin hung around in the doorway for a few seconds before shooting Ray a thumbs up and laughing. 

Ray laughed as Gavin winked and walked away chuckling to himself.

Ray sat in the room alone -like the night before - except this time he knew Ryan would come back eventually. After a minute Ray stood up to rummage through his suitcase finding an undershirt to sleep in before returning to the bed taking off his current shirt. 

Looking down at himself Ray frowned poking at the lighter, raised patch of skin on his stomach from the first bullet he took. The wound had finally healed, but it left behind a big scar. It was another part of life he would need to get used to; he would always be sporting new scars after jobs. 

The door opened and Ray jumped turning to see Ryan walking in and locking the door behind him. 

“Sorry, didn’t meant to scare you.” 

Ray rolled his eyes, “You didn’t scare me.” 

Ryan smirked and Ray watched his eyes look him up and down before sticking on the scar Ray had just bee poking at, “Does it hurt?” 

Ray shook his head, “Just looks like it might.” 

Ryan moved forward slowly forcing Ray to lean back onto the bed as a lump formed in his throat. At first Ray’s fight or flight started to kick in as he remembered the last night he spent with Ryan’s hands around his neck. Ray’s shoulders tensed in case he had to jump away or protect himself. 

Carefully Ryan’s fingers traced Ray’s torso his blue eyes stuck on Ray’s throat, Ray wondered if he was thinking the same thing. He wondered if Ryan was trying to keep himself from jumping off the deep end. Ray cursed internally at himself- Ryan didn’t just jump into madness- it was triggered. He let himself relax, he was safe.   
“Tomorrow, you stick close to Jack and Gavin,” Ryan muttered almost orders in Ray s ear. “If they leave the cargo bob you leave with them, don’t stay behind, don’t go ahead.” 

“What if I slow them down?” Ray felt the pressure from Ryan’s body as he let his weight fall on Ray’s chest.

The leather from Ryan’s jacket squeaked slightly as he used his elbow to prop himself up, “You won’t, you’re tough, and you’ve learned a lot. Damn it Ray, you have to stay safe tomorrow.” 

“I’ll be fine, I promise,” Ray moved his head to the side, so he could kiss Ryan’s ear. 

Ryan sat up, “We risk it even more being tired. Let’s get some sleep.”

Ray nodded, “Sounds like a really good idea,” he yawned.

Ray put on his undershirt and stripped down to his boxers while Ryan took his shirt off before opening a drawer and pulling out a pair of sweatpants. Ryan had left some clothes behind. 

Climbing under the covers Ray watched Ryan turn off the lights before listening to his feet walk across the room. The bed sunk slightly and Ray pressed his feet against Ryan’s pants covered legs. 

“God damn,” Ryan whispered sleepily. “You have to have the coldest feet in the world; I can feel them through my pants.” 

Ray smiled to himself while Ryan put his arm around Ray’s waist like the nights before, and Ray placed his head against Ryan like a pillow. The sleeping was easy like he was always meant to sleep that way. 

Ryan was shaking Ray awake already fully dressed with a backpack on. Ray sat up slowly wiping the sleep in his eyes before he remembered today was heist day and his nerves jumped started him into full wake up mode. Ray hurried to get ready walking around all the others morning routines like he already knew what they would do, he fit in like another cog to their machine. Hurrying down the stairs with his pink sniper rifle already assembled and slung across his back with the safety on Ray saw Jack hard at work in the kitchen. 

“Ray,” Jack called out. “What kind of sandwiches do you like?”

Ray stood confused, “Um…ham and cheese, or uh.. peanut butter and fluff.” 

“I don’t have fluff,” Jack almost seemed to apologize. “Ham and cheese it is.” 

“Sounds good,” Ray nodded. 

Geoff was clapping near the couch in the living room, “Come on guys let’s go we need to hit this!” 

Gavin and Michael hurried down the stairs; Michael was sporting a bag much like Ryan had while Gavin stuffed a gun into a hip holster while trying to keep his cigarette in his mouth. Ray stood next to Geoff who was tapping his foot and crossing his arms wrinkling his suit slightly, he looked like a real James Bond. 

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Geoff asked Ray. 

Ray looked around noticing Ryan was missing from the pack, “I’ll go look,” he hurried up the stairs sure Ryan hadn’t come down. “Ryan!” 

“I’ll be down in a minute!”

The shout came from the bathroom across from Ryan’s room. The white door was slightly ajar. 

“What ar..” Ray stopped halfway through the doorway clapping a hand over his mouth. 

“Shut up,” Ryan scowled. 

“I.. I didn’t,” Ray was trying to hold back his snicker. “I didn’t say anything.” 

“It’s written all over your face,” Ryan huffed looking closely in the mirror. 

Ray had caught Ryan in the middle of applying his menacing face paint, with it half done he looked ridiculous like some sort of clown. Ryan had just finished the white around his jaw. 

“Here it will be faster if I help,” Ray grabbed the jar of black face paint. “This is for your black skull part and the rectangles on the side right?”

Ryan nodded, “You look at me that much?” 

“You wear it a lot, plus it’s basically a red and white skull,” Ray rolled his eyes picking up a brush to dip into the face paint. 

“No not that one,” Ryan said hastily. “The brush is too thick; use the one on the left it’ll leave thinner lines.”

Ray chuckled but obeyed. 

Watching Ryan carefully apply red over his forehead while looking over Ray’s head into the mirror made Ray focus. This was something strangely important to Ryan; he wasn’t going to mess up. Ray dipped the tip of the brush into the make up before placing the first line on Ryan’s face frowning when he realized it wasn’t dark enough. Ray dipped the brush back in all the way before smearing more make up over the thin black line. It smudged a little and Ray’s frown deepened and he began to panic. 

“Come on!” Geoff’s voice booming from downstairs was not helping. 

Ray quickly placed the rest of the lines down Ryan’s mouth cursing himself after each one noticing how they lacked the uniform fashion Ryan usually applied them with. He quickly dabbed the brush on Ryan’s nose to top his mistake off, “Fuck,” he hissed putting the brush back on the counter. 

Ryan moved closer to the mirror examining the train wreck Ray had created on his face; Ray was counting the tiles on the floor his face pulled into a scowl. 

“Not bad,” Ryan almost praised. 

Ray looked up dark eyes wide as Ryan pulled his black skull mask over his face. 

“You’ll get better,” Ryan said leaving the bathroom. 

Ray could feel his blush creeping at the tips of his ears, had Ryan implied he would let Ray try again? Ray had to stop himself from skipping down the stairs to join the rest of the crew by the front door. 

Geoff clapped his hands together, “We’ve been watching this place for a while, and it should be an easy in and out bank job. Michael, Ryan, you’re riding with me. Ray, Gavin, you guys are heading to the airport with Jack. Good luck everyone, don’t get stupid. Let’s move,” Geoff started walking out the door. 

Outside Ray watched Michael and Gavin kiss before Michael whispered something to Gavin as Jack and Geoff started the cars. Ray felt a hand on his shoulder; he turned to see Ryan and smiled. 

Ryan pulled up the bottom of his mask placing his lips gently against Ray’s cheek, “Stay safe.” 

Ray nodded, “You too.” 

There was the honking of horns and Ray hurried to the car which Jack and now Gavin were sitting in. Ray placed his sniper rifle on the seats before he slid into the back giving a thumbs up to Jack and Gavin as he clipped his seatbelt. 

Jack was the smoothest driver Ray had every ridden with, he obeyed all the traffic laws the rest of the crew seemed to ignore. He was easy on the accelerator and rarely came to a jerky breaking stop. Ray and Gavin sang along to the radio easing the nerves Ray had piling up since he woke up. He kept looking at his gun, he would be killing people. He had to stop his shaking hands; he balled them into fists taking deep breaths in and out. 

“You okay back there?” Jack asked eyes looking through the rearview. 

Ray nodded and Gavin was looking now turned around in the passenger seat raising his eyebrows. 

“Just nerves,” Ray gave a sighed laugh. 

Gavin nodded like he knew, he probably did. 

“Keep your eyes on the ground,” Jack informed. “You’re not afraid of heights are you?” 

“What a time to ask,” Ray shook his head. “No, not really, this is my first time really being off the ground though.” 

“You’ll be fine,” Gavin cooed. “It’ll be lots of fun!” his grin was all teeth. 

Ray leaned back against the seats letting out one last long breath as Jack took the exit to the airport. Gavin reached into the glove compartment and handed Ray a thin piece of white plastic that had a speaker on it. Ray watched Gavin put the device in his ear and mimicked him as Gavin handed one to Jack. 

“Testing, one, two, three, how are my boys?” Gavin talked to the air. 

Ray was confused until he heard Michael’s voice ringing in his ear. 

“We hear you loud and clear boy.” 

“Check,” Ryan’s voice was coming in next. 

“You guys close to the airport?” Geoff asked. 

“Bout ten more minutes,” Jack answered. 

“Let’s heist,” Geoff sounded excited. 

“Whoa,” Ray was impressed by the ear piece and how clear the others voices came in. 

“This is where things officially start,” Jack looked in the back seat at Ray who nodded letting Jack know he was paying attention. “When I pull onto the runway and stop the car take your gun, and run into the hanger, don’t try to fight back just run.” 

“Fight back we’re just grabbing a cargo bob.” 

“One we don’t actually own,” Gavin turned to look at Ray. “Airport police have been on their toes lately after we decided to take some planes out to do some sweet tricks. They’ll probably be on us as soon as we get on the runway.” 

Ray gripped his pink sniper rifle ready to move as Jack slammed the accelerator hard.  
The car picked up its pace making Ray feel like he was riding with Ryan once again. Ignoring all of two warning signs Jack sped right through a toll gate snapping the red and white barrier in half. Ray watched the half of the barrier fly over the car and land behind them tumbling along the asphalt. 

Driving onto the runway Ray marveled at the large hangers he had only ever seen in movies. He didn’t do a lot of traveling unless it was on foot. The hangers were filled with planes of different shapes and sizes, and for a minute Ray was afraid of running to the wrong one. 

“Go to the long open one,” Jack instructed. “It’s camouflage.”

Ray nodded picking out the cargo bob as the car came to a skidding halt, the tires burning against the tarmac. 

Instantly Ray unbuckled kicking open the back seat, he could hear the sirens echoing in distance as he slung his sniper rifle on his back. He wasn’t a track star or athletic in by any means, but Ray ran as fast as he could extending his legs to their full potential and pushing himself.   
Grabbing onto the edge of the cargo bob he hoisted himself up onto the cold steel.   
Within seconds after Ray got in the sirens were got louder, the sound bouncing around the hanger deafeningly, he watched Jack and Gavin climb into the seats up front.

“I need cover!” Jack ordered while pressing buttons, he was the pilot. 

Gavin nodded obeying standing up, and walking back to where Ray sat pulling a sub machine gun from a bag Ray had noticed him grab, before running from the car. Without blinking Gavin pulled the trigger his arm only shifting slightly effected by the kick back. Ray had never seen the man so focused as he took down the police starting to emerge from their cars. Gavin was putting them down before they got to retrieve their weapon. 

“You’ve got an opening,” Gavin shouted to Jack. 

Ray realized he hadn’t helped at all and thought about setting up his gun when the cargo bob started to move. Following Gavin’s smooth lead Ray grabbed one of the leather straps hanging from the ceiling holding on for dear life as Jack started to maneuver out of the low hanger, and over the stationary cop cars. Ray’s hands were sweating and his legs were shaking as they ascended into the sky, there were no doors or seats except up front. He was afraid to look down or give up his grip. Looking at Gavin Ray was only slightly surprised to see him swinging casually on the leather strap Ray had a death grip on. Gavin, the clumsiest guy Ray’s met in probably his entire life had no fear of falling swinging so close to the edge of the cargo bob. It filled Ray with some type of admiration, to be that fearless in the face of danger. In fact Gavin looked calm under the circumstances, a small smile played on his lips like he was containing his happiness. Ray noted a faraway look in Gavin’s eyes like he was on some kind of drug, a wild high of adrenaline must have already been kicking in. 

The air was rushing around them, making Ray feel even more on edge; Jack was straightening out the airborne vehicle.


	20. Heists and Heights part 2

“You doing okay?” Gavin was shouting over the wind. 

Ray nodded, “You look like you’re doing well too.”

Gavin’s smile split wider, “Top,” he shouted into the sky. 

“You guys might want to sit down soon,” Jack was talking from the front. “Ray, get your sniper rifle ready.” 

Ray’s legs were like jelly, he was positive when he sat he would slip right out.  
As if sensing his hesitation Gavin gave a small laugh Ray couldn’t really hear, but he could see it as Gavin covered his mouth. Ray wanted to glare but he was too busy being terrified. 

“You’ll be fine,” Gavin encouraged. 

To cement his point Gavin held onto the side of the cargo bob shifting himself to the floor. Ray looked down swallowing hard and breathing rapidly.

Gavin was clumsy but here he had all the grace in the world, if Gavin could do it so could Ray. Carefully taking it an inch at a time Ray gripped on to the side of the cargo bob, he could hear the blood rushing through his ears. The aircraft shifted slightly hit by turbulence and Ray saw his life flash before his eyes. 

“You’re more than halfway there!” Gavin praised. 

Ray took a deep breath before closing his eyes and sliding down till he felt his butt touch metal. He could feel his legs dangling off the edge and refused to open his eyes afraid of releasing his bowls right there. 

Once Ray had sat down and got his bearing eventually prying his eyes open with more encouragement from Gavin, Ray realized it wasn’t that bad. He understood Gavin’s enjoyment-somewhat- with the wind whipping through his hair and the small world beneath him making him feel like a giant in the air. 

“We’re approaching the bank,” Jack informed from the front. 

Ray could see the structure he vaguely remembered going into a few times to cash checks from his job at a burger joint. It looked insignificant form his position perched in the cargo bob readying his sniper rifle, peeking through the scope. As soon as Ray got a steady shot towards the building an explosion shook the ground, another came soon after. Ray’s scope was filled with flashes and black smoke; he could imagine the screaming chaos that must have been happening down there. He slowly lifted his eye away from the scope finding himself feeling too far away from what was happening, too out of the loop of where Ryan was.

“Got the cash,” Michael’s voice blasted into Ray’s ears over sirens making him jump.

Ray set his gaze back in the scope just in time to see a black armored truck break through the side of the bank after one last explosion. 

“There’s our target,” Jack started to lower the cargo bob. 

Gavin slowly moved over to the side of the cargo bob Ray was sitting on, “We’ve got you guys covered,” he spoke into his ear piece. 

The armored truck was cutting corners harshly and operating at what had to be full speed. Cops were already on their tail the flashing lights just as bright as the explosions had been in Ray’s eyes. The back doors of the armored truck opened, Michael and Ryan automatically had their guns blazing aiming for tires and windshields. Ray took a deep breath griping the sniper rifle tighter, Gavin’s gun was blasting in his ear, he could see people sitting in their cars. No more hesitation, Ray pulled the trigger of his sniper rifle to keep the rest of the crew safe. 

The thrill of adrenaline hit Ray as he watched cars spin out, when tires were popped instead of the people operating the vehicles. Bullets were pinging sharply on the side of the cargo bob making Ray and Gavin turn their heads simultaneously. Three black and white police choppers had started tailing them and taking action to help their ground team. 

“”I’ve got them, you watch the ground,” Gavin inserted a new clip into his gun, before grabbing the leather strap hanging above his head, and hanging halfway out of the cargo bob.

Ray was nervous at first watching the Brit hang so far out of the air craft, but Gavin had proved he wasn’t as much of a screw up as he seemed to be at first glance. Turning back to the ground Ray watched Michael toss grenades out the back of the van. The van itself had its back wheels lifted from the ground knocking Ryan and Michael back into the truck. Ray went into rapid fire mode going straight for kill shots while the other two picked themselves back up.

“Gavin,” Jack called from the front of the chopper. 

Ray had been so focused he hadn’t noticed the beeping sound starting to come from the front of the cargo bob. 

“Jack, that thing has to last till you get us out of here,” Geoff was talking directly into Ray’s ear. 

“I know, we’re taking some bullets,” Jack sounded frustrated.

Two explosions erupted behind the cargo bob; Ray looked daring to bend further out to watch two of the choppers go down in a fiery display while Gavin smiled to himself. 

“Just one more,” Gavin called up front. 

“We’re coming to get you,” Jack started to dip down the nose of the cargo bob. 

Ray held on tightly to the side of the air craft leaning back away from the ledge as it tipped. He watched without using his sniper scope, the cargo bob looked as if it was parking right on top of the armored truck. Ray saw a figure dressed in mainly black, a figure with a skull mask, holding a thumbs up to them before stepping back and closing the back doors. 

There was a click and Jack started to pull up taking the beeping air craft back into the skies. The ground vehicle was no longer where it once sat, and Ray caught the edge of something moving under them in his peripheral vision. A hook had attached to the truck and it was now swinging under them like a wrecking ball. 

The shots of a gun being fired made Ray turn his head; it was Gavin taking down the last helicopter. In an effort to be of some use Ray held his middle finger out to the police chopper with a smirk watching it go down. Gavin turned hand up and Ray returned a high five to the lanky man, everything was going to plan.

 

“I gotta put her down,” Jack was talking through the ear piece and Ray’s heart was hammering.  
The beeping in the front had gotten too loud for comfort  
.   
“We’ve got two more choppers on us,” Gavin called upfront before firing his weapons. 

Ray tried to help taking a few shots with his sniper rifle only hitting every other shot or so. It was hard to hit a target that bobbed around, it was different shooting sideways than down at a car. 

Jack had steered the cargo bob low skimming over streets and weaving through buildings after they picked up the armored truck. They were trying to lose the remaining ground cops and were doing a great job, before more helicopters seemed to appear out of nowhere. Gavin deduced one of the officers must have called after the other three choppers fell. 

Ray felt the cargo bob jerk downward like a theme park attraction; it was unsettling to say the least. Gavin had stopped shooting and had started rummaging through a storage bin; Ray assumed for more ammo, he couldn’t have been more wrong. A hefty bag was placed next to Ray with a thud. Ray looked up at Gavin questionably watching the man put the backpack on making sure the straps were secured. Mentally Ray was blocking the reality; he didn’t understand what Gavin had just given him. 

The cargo bob moved down again, and Ray watched the buildings get closer together as the street came closer. 

“Are we landing?” Ray asked. 

Gavin shook his head, “We’re splitting up.” 

There was an explosion that left a ringing in Ray’s ears; a police helicopter had exploded trying to follow them down between the buildings. A loud bang and crash followed, Ray looked down to see the armored vehicle becoming smaller and smaller as Jack pulled up. 

“We’re just leaving them,” Ray sputtered. 

“It’s better than losing them in the air and dropping them even further,” Gavin snapped back shooting his gun out the side as the aircraft rose higher. 

They still had one chopper tailing them. 

“Going all the way to the top, get ready,” Jack called back from the front.

Ray didn’t understand. 

Gavin sat back on his haunches picking up the bag he had dropped beside Ray earlier, “You’ve got to put this on.” 

“What?”

“You’re not gonna like this, but we’re going down with nowhere safe to land,” Gavin held the straps of the pack open so Ray could slide his arms through. “That means we need to jump, but we also need to take out the asshole in the chopper so they won’t shoot us out of the sky.” 

Ray was stuck on one word, “Jump where?” 

“We’re parachuting down,” Gavin snapped the belt on the front of Ray’s bag, which was now confirmed to be a parachute.

Ray grabbed Gavin’s wrists latching onto the man, “I can’t…I can’t fucking jump out of an airplane, that’s insane!”

“It’s not an airplane,” Gavin shook his head. “It’s a cargo bob.” 

“Gavin,” Ray whined, “I can’t..”

Gavin grabbed Ray’s shoulders tightly squeezing, “Yes you can, you have to. Jump count to three and pull this cord,” Gavin gently lifted the cord making sure Ray could see it. “I’ll be right next to you.”

Ray nodded. 

“Hold your gun tightly, don’t let it slip form your grasp,” Gavin instructed. 

Again Ray nodded letting the Brit know he was listening. 

Gavin smiled and Ray swallowed thickly, the weight on his back feeling like it was going to drag him down instead of help him float. 

Looking down Ray noticed how high Jack had gotten the cargo bob; behind them he could see the police helicopter too close for comfort. In front of them the name Maze Bank was coming into view in giant neon letters, it stood tall above most of the buildings in the city. 

“This is our stop,” Jack called. 

Gavin gave a sharp nod before pulling Ray to his feet. Ray felt like he couldn’t breathe, the air had become too thin. 

“Go!” Jack ordered. 

Ray didn’t move his feet were cemented into the ground. The world was so far away, and all he could picture was becoming a red spot on the pavement. He couldn’t do it. 

“Sorry,” Ray heard Gavin mumble it before he felt like his heart had stopped. 

Gavin had pushed Ray out of the cargo bob and helped him start his decent. Ray tried to scream, but the air rushed into his mouth making it dry, and sent an ache to his lungs. All he could hear was the wind whipping around him and the popping of his ears as things past in a blur and his gun felt like the only solid real thing. 

A flash caught the corner of Ray’s eye and he watched Gavin stop short being whisked back into the sky waving his arms frantically. There was a tab, Ray was supposed to pull it, the parachute would open, and he would be okay. Quickly Ray wrapped his fingers over the plastic chord before ripping it and feeling his body jerk back. The parachute had opened-black and green- and Ray was now making a safer decent. Looking behind him Ray watched the cargo bob fall towards the police chopper clipping it before the air craft could completely move. The heat from the explosion sent Ray moving forward. 

Ray watched Gavin swoop down on top of the banks white helipad dropping onto his feet and undoing the parachute pack. He prepared to do the same bending his knees ready for the impact of his feet on the ground. It was stumbling and less then graceful, Ray was a mess of limbs. He hit the roof of the bank and toppled over cursing under his breath as he scraped his skin against the rough surface. 

Ray let the smile sit on his face as he stood up ignoring the slight sting from the scrapes on his body.

“Let’s get out of here,” Jack had landed and was jogging towards a ladder. 

Ray followed without question slinging his sniper rifle across his back, and he could hear Gavin’s foot steps behind him. Going down the ladder was the easiest thing Ray had done that day. 

The ladder led down to a regular roof with an access door Jack had picked open in no time. The three rushed inside taking the stairs down a few flights before finding a door that seemed safe enough to sneak into. Jack peeked in before ushering the other two into the well-polished office space. Ray felt his chest tighten worrying someone would come out of the offices and notice they didn’t belong. Luckily no one emerged and Ray could breathe again as he walked onto an elevator heading for the ground floor. 

“Fuck,” Ray hissed. “How do I hide this?” Ray picked at the strap of his sniper rifle over his chest. 

“We can hide it under your jacket,” Gavin started to unzip Ray’s purple hoodie. If Jack and I stand close enough to you it might just look like a backpack.”   
Ray gripped Gavin’s wrist as he started to unzip his hoodie, “Gavin that’s ridiculous.” 

“It might work,” Jack seemed to be mulling it over.

Ray sighed releasing Gavin -maybe he wouldn’t notice- Ray unzipped the sweatshirt himself. 

Gavin gasped, and Ray knew he noticed the yellow bruises that littered his neck. They were slowly healing and in retrospect looked a lot better than when he had first gotten them. If the heist was a few days later they’d be completely gone, but as it was now, Gavin got a full view of where Ryan’s fingers had dug into this throat. 

“Ray,” Gavin stuttered. “When-“

“We can talk about it later,” Ray snapped. “Help me hide this.”

Ray shoved the sniper rifle into Gavin’s hands so he could take off his hoodie and hand it to Jack. Taking the sniper rifle Ray put it on his back before grabbing his hoodie from Jack and trying to get it to cover as much of the rifle as he could zipping it all the way. He could feel Gavin’s wide eyes still stuck on him. 

“It was Ryan okay,” Ray hissed. “We had a little disagreement, but I’m fine.” 

“You guys had a spat and he decided he had to win,” Gavin frowned. 

Ray shook his head, “It wasn’t like that. Ryan has some stuff he needs to work on, I’m helping him.” 

“By being a punching bag,” Gavin scoffed. 

“I’m fine, it was all an accident,” Ray was harsh on the last word trying to get his point across. 

Gavin crossed his arms, his eyes dark and brows knit together. 

The doors to the elevator opened, and Ray switched heist mode back on hunching back slightly between Jack and Gavin. They were almost in the clear, and then all Jack had to do was hotwire a car and get them home. 

“Should we take home pizza?” Jack joked. 

“Please,” Ray groaned. “I’m starved,” he lied, the nerves and adrenaline were still shooting through his system agitating his stomach. The conversation had to be boring and normal, it had to divert attention. 

Walking out of the bank made Ray feel like putty, all the stress tight in his shoulders disappeared as he watched Jack look for a car. He slouched forward unzipping his hoodie a tiny bit still checking back and forth as people passed them. Ray had to hand it to Jack, he looked pretty normal for a guy trying to find a car easy to hotwire. 

Eventually Jack found his target, someone had forgotten to lock their door, and the alarm never went off as Jack hopped right into the car. Gavin ushered Ray forward and Ray hopped into the back seat taking off his hoodie and setting his sniper rifle on the rest of the seat while Gavin hopped up front. 

Ray leaned forward watching the way Jack opened a compartment under the steering wheel and started to move colorful wires around. Jack’s fingers moved with a precision Ray didn’t expect from the burly man. There was a spark from the end of the wires, and the car roared to life. Ray sat back as Jack quickly pulled out of the spot and merged into the street traffic.   
The car ride started off quiet, the cops were gone, the adrenaline was wearing off, and they were on their way home. 

“I haven’t heard anything from the guys since we left the roof,” Ray pointed out suddenly worry strangling his chest again.

“It’s fine,” Jack quickly squashed Ray’s worry. “Geoff told me they were in the clear before we jumped out of the cargo bob. He’s been keeping me updated, Ryan and Michael probably took theirs out for concentration purposes, sometimes having five other people in your head can be distracting.” 

Ray dug into his ear pulling out his ear piece, “Then why couldn’t I hear Geoff?” 

“The air might have blown out the speaker,” Jack shrugged. “Everyone’s fine though, that’s a fact.” 

Ray leaned back against the seat taking comfort in Jack’s words. 

“Anyone actually hungry?” Jack asked, “I brought the sandwiches.” 

“I want one!” Gavin raised his hand. 

“Ray,” Jack handed a bag to Gavin to rummage through.

Ray shook his head, “I’m not really hungry.” 

Gavin munched away on his sandwich and drank a bottle of water while they cruised along the streets of Los Santos. Ray watched as the scenery changed and the sky turned dark. Night was falling on them; the heist had taken the day away. Lights were turning on in buildings and on the streets, neon signs were being turned on in businesses. 

A cell phone started ringing and Gavin was the one who answered. Ray absently listened to his hums and noises of agreement before hanging up. 

“You up for a celebration?” Gavin asked.   
“Like with cake?” Ray asked.


	21. Celebrate and Continue

“Like with shots!” Gavin pumped his fist in the air, “Michael just called and said they were all down at the bar.” 

“What about the money?” Ray leaned forward.

“Michael said they stashed it at a safe house,” Gavin’s smile was all teeth.

Ray caught Jack’s gaze in the rearview mirror as if silently asking him. Ray nodded. 

Jack took a hard left, “Let’s go regroup.” 

“And grab some bevs,” Gavin giggled turning up the radio. 

Loud music from outside filled the car as it cruised down the street to a bar with bright neon signs letting the world know it was open. 

The bar was crowded, and the music was even louder inside. Ray could feel it pounding in his chest changing the rhythm of his heart. People were dancing close, bodies pressed together ignoring the sweat some of them were producing. It was less of a bar and more of a high roller club Ray wasn’t expecting. Gavin fit right in leading the way through the crowd, and blinding lights that pulsed with the music to the actual bar part of the establishment. 

Getting closer Ray noticed the bar was also obnoxiously lit up from the bottom, the lights were washed out and flashing through the frosted glass bar. Empty glasses and half full glasses alike were strewn about between bottles covering the bar surface. There was a special collection of alcoholic containers piled by a group of familiar faces painted by the lights. The crew was sitting there smiling, Michael holding a glass in the air with a shiny brown liquid with ice and one in his other hand held out for Gavin. Ray smiled watching the two get reacquainted after spending hours away. Gavin downed the liquor in one shot before tugging Michael’s hand; the two disappeared into the ever changing crowd. 

Ray scanned for Ryan surprised and worried he didn’t see him sitting there with Geoff. His shoulders fell and he frowned leaning against the bar. Ray scanned the crowd hoping to catch a glimpse of the man, mask or not, anything to calm his nerves. 

The hand squeezing Ray’s shoulder made him jump- his heart leaping-until he saw Geoff’s perfectly twirled mustache and baby blue eyes. 

“You did a great job today rookie,” Geoff praised. “What’s with the long face? We should be toasting to the newest lad and sharp shooter on the crew!” 

Geoff raised his glass throwing his arm around Ray’s shoulder pulling him close. 

“Should you be shouting that so loud?” Ray smirked. 

Geoff leaned in close to Ray’s ear, “Nobody cares here kid,” Geoff laughed heartily. “Who do you think sells them all the drugs to keep this place a fan favorite? We get all our drinks half off, that’s how much they love us.” 

Ray rolled his eyes smirking; he never realized how powerful the Fake Ah Crew really was. He didn’t think they pushed drugs, he thought they were just heisters. Ray gave into Geoff leaning against the man instead of fighting against his arm. There was still one question lingering in Ray’s mind. 

“Where’s Ryan?” 

Geoff released Ray at that finishing off his current bottle, and already asking for another one at the bar counter. 

Ray stood awkwardly shuffling his feet watching Geoff hand off his empty brown bottle for a new full one.

“He’s dancing around here somewhere,” Geoff was leaning against the bar. “Selling off the rest of the stash we brought tonight, I don’t think the regular dealer showed, so Ryan’s picking up the slack.” 

Ray sighed settling down on an open bar stool next to Jack. After being in the thick of it all, and watching Ryan shot at repeatedly-plus dodging a few bullets himself- Ray wanted nothing more than to see his boyfriend. Count Ryan’s body parts to make sure he was really all in one piece, and not playing tough guy bleeding out somewhere. Ray flagged the bartender down and got a plain coke. 

“Two please,” Ray looked over to see Gavin ordering with two fingers up as Michael leaned heavily against him. 

Michael was pressing circles into Gavin’s back with the pads of his fingers, and leaving kisses on the brit’s neck and ear making him giggle. Michael’s curls were pushed back by his sweat; Gavin’s hair looked even wilder. Somewhere along the way Gavin had acquired a pair of golden sunglasses. 

“What are you still standing around here for with these nerds,” Michael snickered pointing to Geoff and Jack. 

Geoff grumbled into his drink while Jack smiled shaking his head. 

“Come on,” Michael stood up straighter holding out his hand, “Come dance with us.”

“I uh,” Ray tugged at his sweatshirt, he was getting hot. “I’m waiting for Ryan.” 

Gavin snorted while accepting two drinks from the bartender, “Who needs him? Loosen up, the day’s been too stressful,” he tilted his cup towards Ray. 

Ray put his hands up, “I don’t drink.” 

Gavin looked confused for half a second before shrugging and downing the glass and asking for another, and handed the full one over to Michael. 

“And take off that stupid sweatshirt,” Michael sipped his drink. “You look ready to pass out.”

Ray paused looking to Gavin who turned his nose up sipping his drink. Biting his lip Ray started to unzip his sweatshirt figuring the lighting was weird enough to obscure the yellow faded bruises. 

“Alright,” Ray gave in with a smile leaving his jacket on the chair, which Jack said he would watch. 

Venturing out into the crowd was easier than Ray thought it would be. Gavin lead the way easily cutting through the massive amount of people. The first thing Ray noticed was neither Michael nor Gavin could dance. Ray fit right in swaying along to the music in a less then graceful fashion. He threw his hands up to the sky as Michael’s barking laugh cut through the air around them. Ray gave up trying to regulate his breathing, panting hard as he moved his body to a rhythm that wasn’t really there. He let the pounding base take his heart, and keep it pumping. Ray watched people skillfully holding silver trays walking through the crowd handing out drinks and stocking up on empty glasses. Gavin and Michael had created a perfect strategy for dancing while simultaneously flagging down a drink tender. Ray felt loose like puddy, ecstatic Michael never noticed his bruises. After the crazy day Ray was laughing and finally relaxing in a setting, he could never picture himself being relaxed in. Every once in a while Ray would go stiff, his heart would jump like he couldn’t breathe, it all became too much as his body brushed next to someone else’s. With Michael and Gavin chatting though they brought him right back into his comfort zone, as if it was just them at 636. 

Ten songs in Ray was coming down from his high, and Gavin noticed pulling someone from wait staff to the side grinning as the person walked away. Ray stood curiously until the attendant came back holding a perfectly rolled joint. 

“For my dragon friend,” Gavin winked plucking the joint from the waiter’s hand. “To make up for the no drinking thing.” 

Ray happily took the joint and let Michael light it with his chrome lighter. 

Two joints- supplied by Gavin- and a handful of songs later Ray knew he was done and partied out. He could tell Gavin was the same even if the Brit wouldn’t admit it. Gavin was almost relying completely on Michael to hold him up from lying face down on the dancefloor. Ray turned ready to meet back up with Geoff and Jack, and head back for home when a familiar face made him freeze. 

Ray rubbed his eyes and time moved slower, the music sounded far away, his heart was pounding too fast for the music to steady, he tried to tell himself it was just his high. All night Ray had been looking over his shoulder for face paint Ryan when he should have bene looking for Ryan the normal guy. The world was blurry and Ray’s hands balled into fists as he stood and watched Ryan’s lips suction onto the neck of another woman before breaking for air, and meeting her lips. The girl’s hands were running along the hem of his shirt her slender fingers tickling at his skin. Ray could feel the heat rising in his face. Ryan’s Hands were shoved into the ass pockets of her jeans. 

“Aren’t we headed o-“ Michael stopped short and Ray knew he was seeing it too. 

Ray dropped his gaze turning to walk around a different way; there were a million other ways to navigate through the crowd. 

“You asshole!” Gavin slurred angrily. 

Ray looked over his shoulder watching the surprise on Ryan’s face, he wasn’t wearing the fucking face paint, he was just letting that girl see him. Ray felt sick, he wanted to get out, the anxious feeling he had fought away all night finally wrapping around his throat. 

Ray reached out tugging Michael’s sleeve sure he wouldn’t be heard over the music. 

“Did you hear me?” Gavin’s accent sounded stronger surrounded by liquor, “Are you daft, too much drink?”

Ray watched Ryan’s body language change, he moved away from the woman he was well acquainted with seconds ago and squared his shoulders. Gavin didn’t even blink moving away from Michael’s supportive body to stare Ryan down. 

“You must be daft,” Gavin spat. “Ray thinks the world of you, the mention of your name lights up his eyes, and…..and you,” Gavin raised his voice pointing an accusing finger. “You treat him like a punching bag then do…. Whatever this is! Ryan you are one dumb son of a bitch.” 

Ryan reacted unlike Ryan, Ray expected harsh words to be thrown back in Gavin’s face, instead Ryan lunged forward. There were no calculations, it was violent and fast. 

Gavin didn’t flinch ready to grapple against Ryan, Michael was stepping in already trying to pull the two apart. Ray couldn’t watch, he couldn’t stand there as every eye on the dancefloor seemed to lock on them. Ray hurried through the crowd that seemed to be thickening even more, as if it was possible, he ran for the first door he saw. 

Ray took in gulping breaths of Los Santos air that would probably kill him leaning back against a cool brick wall. His body was hot and covered in sweat that made his dark bangs cling to his head. Ray ran his fingers through his hair before pressing his palms against his eyes, his high was ruined. Gavin had jumped in to defend Ray and his stupid bruises at the worst time. Was he even really angry at Ryan for kissing another girl, he would have an explanation. Ryan wouldn’t hurt Ray on purpose, not after last night, not after their moment in the stars. What bothered Ray the most, deep down in his guts, Ryan had shown her his face without hesitation. Ryan never showed his face to anyone unless they meant something, so what did she do to get him to break his cover? 

The back door on squeaky hinges opened, and Ray sighed outwardly leaning even further into the wall, wishing he could sink into it. Closing his eyes Ray secretly hoped it was just someone coming out for a smoke- to get away from the claustrophobic crowd-no one he would know. 

“Ray.” 

Ray opened his eyes slowly taking in the sight of a slightly disheveled Ryan with a wrinkled collar like someone had grabbed him, his bangs were in his face, and there was a bruise over his left temple. 

“Gavin got one punch in, unfortunately it was a good one,” Ryan’s shoulders bend forward.

Ray didn’t even try to hide his smirk; maybe Ryan deserved it a little.

Ryan was rubbing the back if his neck, “I can explain.” 

“I know.” 

“You, kind of sound like you don’t want to hear it,” Ryan juggled his words carefully. 

“I want to hear it,” Ray nodded.

“I was sealing the deal.” 

Ray frowned and Ryan quickly threw his hands out shaking them around. 

“Not like that! Our dealer didn’t show up, so I was picking up tonight’s slack. She started getting too close for comfort-“

Ray laughed stopping Ryan in his tracks a skewed look on his face. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Ray laughed. “Too close for comfort? Really Ryan? You were all over her,” it came out as more of a yell than Ray had expected. 

“The more she kissed the more she bought,” Ryan pushed his bangs away from his face. “I didn’t like doing it, but I was making a good sale.”

“Did I ruin it?” 

“No.” 

Ryan closed the space between them in the alley way brushing a rough knuckle over Ray’s cheek, almost ghosting against his skin, “You saved me from the worst interaction of my life,” his laugh was breathy in Ray’s ear as Ryan whispered to him. 

Ray’s breath caught in his throat as he felt Ryan’s hand pull him away from the wall, and place itself on the small of Ray’s back. Tilting his head ever so slightly Ray closed his eyes with slightly parted lips. It was quick and desperate, Ryan’s hands were gripping Ray’s body, and Ray did the same tangling his hands in Ryan’s hair releasing his ponytail. The feeling of hands exploring him made him shiver, and moans escaped into Ryan’s lips that were now parting open. Ray let Ryan’s soft hair slide through his fingers. Everything that mattered was there and now, how Ryan still got Ray’s heart beating faster. What happened in there was business, Ryan was on nothing more than a job. 

The pace slowed as Ryan pulled away to reposition himself, and kiss Ray’s neck letting his hands climb up his shirt. Abruptly Ryan stopped again and Ray opened his eyes drinking in the sight of a man handsome in all the right ways

“Wanna get out of here?”

“I’ve been dying to hear you say that,” Ray laughed. “Oh shit, I left my jacket inside.” 

“I’ll text Jack to bring it home,” Ryan assured him. 

“Can they all fit in one car?” 

“We’re not taking a car,” Ryan shook his head. 

Ryan slipped his fingers between Ray’s tugging him gently away from the wall, out of the alley, and away from the thumping noise of the club. Ryan walked Ray out into the surprisingly busy streets of late-night Los Santos, somehow still calmer than the day. Ray squeezed Ryan’s hands as they walked through crowds, glancing over to see the mad mercenary unmasked- his eyes barley told of any fear-Ray hoped he was the comfort. 

They walked down streets and ducked into shops with interesting displays. Ray found himself drawn to a clothing store. Inside he felt right at home among the abundance of graphic tees and sweatshirts, looking at the ones just too big for him. Ray had separated from Ryan and was putting a floppy hat on when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around Ray smiled, his vision slightly obscured by the hat falling limply in his eyes, a bashful Ryan held a grey beanie out. Carefully, Ray took the beanie from Ryan putting the floppy hat back. The beanie fit snuggly around Ray’s ears, the wool was warm, and his bangs were pressed down slightly further into his face. Looking in the mirror Ray beamed turning his head around slightly inspecting the look. 

“It’s great,” Ray looked at Ryan’s reflection behind him not missing the pink in his cheeks.

“Then it’s yours,” Ryan nodded. 

“Ryan you don’t-“ 

“I want to,” Ryan pecked the top of Ray’s head. “I always want to.” 

Coming out of the store Ray had a new beanie, and was tucked against Ryan’s side, Ryan’s arms slung over his shoulders as they walked. 

“When you didn’t reply after the heist I freaked out a little bit,” Ryan confessed as they turned a corner. 

The street lamps were on, and Ray was memorizing the shadows they cast over Ryan’s exposed face. He’d seen it before, in light, in the darkness, never cast in both for so long.


End file.
